How do I know what do and what not to worry about?

Question

I was just looking for some ideas on how I can reduce the amount of worrying I do. Ex: I worry that cause some1 blocks me on aim like a girl they like hate my guts. Cause idk if they hate me or just ignoring me. I don't talk alot in real life and I think its just cause I worry too much about if I say something the world like comes to an end. Not to mention I don't know how to say something the right way without others being confused or if its not enough info they ask for more info. I wanna know if there is anything to reduce worrying bout little things and big things and I know 1 is to positive self talk which is like "Hey I can do this whats the worst thing that could happen" and actually practicing a conversation. Still sometimes I worry like that aim thing. I guess. Well help me out if you can if not thats alright.

Answer 1

I happen to be an apprentice therapist so maybe that will give you the confidence you need to believe what I say.
If your looking for a repetitive thing to say to yourself about worry its this and its been helpful in my own personal life as I hold a PhD in worry... "I would rather live a lifetime of happiness in refusing to worry, than spend a lifetime of guaranteed misery by worrying". Another powerful quote you can say is, "the only thing worth worrying about is my own worrying" Worrying is so destructive mentally and physically...It will ruin every facet of your life if you let it... By the way, please dont say these things so much that they become obsessive, just say it a couple times a day, or put it up on the wall and have a glance... Nothing ever works out from worrying, you make a plan and dont worry about your plans. If there is something that you think needs to be done thats under your control than make a plan to deal with it and don't stray from that plan unless something catastrophic occurs that means you need to alter your plan. Trust your abilities to make a plan, assess the consequences and live with the consequences. But DONT worry about the plan.
Another thing to consider when it comes to worry is CONSIDER THE ALTERNATIVE, as a therapist who practices Reality Therapy myself I can tell you that you can CHOOSE not to worry, the power to do so is well within your mental grasp. The mind is incredibly powerful and you must use it to your advantage, in other words, do you want your mind to work for you or against you...do you want to be your own worst enemy or not.
I also tell myself that I would prefer to be homeless and starving than to live a life of guaranteed misery by worrying...Even in the worst of circumstances, I can still be at peace knowing that I simply refused to worry throughout life and I have developed an extremely powerful mind and be able to get through any suffering even if it meant death. Remember its better than living a guaranteed life of misery because if your worrying all the time or most the time or atleast half the time, your in misery because worrying is anything but fun or pleasant. So I consider myself a test guinea pig, in that I will refuse to worry as the Bible states to be sin and as any legitimate authority would tell you not to worry. I will follow this instruction even if it means suffering and death....
I know this may be way more info than you asked for but I'm motivated to share none the less because I know how debilitating and destructive worry is and I hate to see anyone regardless of how young have to deal with worry that robs you of your life and creativity....Dont let yourself ruin yourself...You can look at the worst case scenario and be fine with it because you know that you made a plan stuck to it and followed through, maybe it turned out bad but you refused to worry and you can always smile about that because you know your doing whats right, healthy and beneficial to your mind...You can have peace as Paul did in prison. You can have peace as John Hall did in a vietnam POW camp who literally played out 18 holes of golf in his mind and was an expert golfer when he finally was released from the camp, you can have peace as a few did in a Natzi Concentration Camp under the worst of circumstances simply by the power of your own thoughts..

Answer 2

I am a big worrier too. I worry about opening my mouth to answer a question and everything I say being so stupid that people laugh at me. But then when you think about it that's all that will happen, and if it does it just shows that they are a rude judgmental person and not worth the bothering with any way. I still have this problem and often when I attempt to speak in front of people my words come out jumbled, but I usually just excuse myself, take a breath and attempt again. Nobody ever seems to notice and it hasn't stop people from talking to me or asking my opinion. If I hadn't persevered then I would never have plucked up the courage to speak to my now husband 6 years ago.
So as the saying goes "feel the fear and do it anyway" or something to that effect. Good luck xx

Answer 3

People block you for many different reasons....I recently felt bad, because I had to block a young guy, because I am married, and if my husband would have seen the young guys' photo, what would he have thought? I didn't have anything against the person, but it just didn't look right...so don't worry, some girls might get in trouble, or have a boyfriend that they don't want to find out about...take it easy, you're probably a very sweet person who is lonely like a lot of people, and the right one will come along x

Answer 4

does worry change anything? I submit to you that worry is useless and time wasting, and energy absorbing. If you have a concern, do something about it, and stop worrying. If anything worry only paralyzes you and nothing is accomplished. If you feel socially inept, then take classes on assertiveness training...if you wonder what others will think of you, try concerning yourself more with what you think of you. Would you object and think ill of someone if they told you they liked you, or thought you handsome? No? Then those who object to you telling them the same thing are hardly worth your concern. Trust me, the world will not end because you make an innocent mistake, if that were the case, this old world would have ceased to exist long long ago.

Answer 5

Start with the small things, and aim to train yourself not to worry, before moving on to converstaions with people you don't know or are not sure of.. You could always ask family or social worker to practise having chats about ordinary stuff, so you get more confident voicing opinions etc?
Hope this helps a bit, good luck!

Answer 6

To start ,your question is almost incomprehensible.
That's beside the point, just think positive, there are several methods that you can use to gain CONFIDENCE!. Just get help, I recommend "Joe Barry" service @ panicportal.com.
I was skeptical to start with, but he's good!
Good luck You'll be OK.

Answer 7

There is no reason to worry about anything. Worry never helped anything anyway.