Is it possible for a deceitful man to make a good woman go crazy?
I am in my 30's and was married for 15 years. My ex husband and I just went our separate ways, we didnt fight or get crazy or jealous. It was an amicable divorce. Now I have been with this man for 2 years and he has deceived me alot. Now I am very insecure and I accuse him of being interested in other women. I am totally losing it. I dont know if he has cheated, but if he hasnt he sure makes it look like he has. Like he even lied about going to his friends house, he said he never left our house, but he did. He doesnt pay his share of the rent. Borrows money and doesnt pay it back. I break up with him but keep getting back together with him because I miss him so much. Now he is starting to get borderline physically violent. I have never been abused in my life. Why am I doing this to myself? I am totally losing control and am acting in ways I never have before. I have always been very calm and never swear or yell, but now it happens all the time. Please help me.
Additional Details
2 hours ago
The guy I am with now is not my ex husband. He is a different man.
2007-03-18 09:31:43 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
what you are describing is an abusive relationship. im not talking about the hitting kind of abuse, although you mention it may be a future possibility. im talking about the abuse of your self-esteem and security. no, youre not going crazy. your subconcious mind is trying to tell you that something here is very wrong. its telling you to go. just because you miss someone doesnt mean that its right for you. listen to your gut. it will never never lie to you. part of the game of emotional abuse is that he will make you believe that its you thats the problem. like youre feeling right now. pack up your stuff, leave and dont look back. do yourself this one favor and give yourself back your sanity and freedom.
2007-03-18 09:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, It has been my experience, that must people that are jealous and accuse others of things like such, is because they them selves are capable of or have done them things. I'm not saying that you how ever. There are people that will play with you that way. You must take a good look within. If it is you that you fear "referring to the above statement", then you are driving him away. This will make a person violent. If it is him that is driving you crazy, NO MATTER how much you miss him... Go your own way, as you did in your previous relation ship. He will never change and will probably hurt you Physically and emotionally. Take your now Free time and enroll in school. Become a Professional if not one already. Your study time will keep your thoughts becoming better. Instead of waisting your precious mind with a no pay back cheating Looser.. Don't loose control, get a hold of yourself. Take a deep breath and Handle it.;) Your write great, which tells me you are Intelligent and intellectual. Do something with it. Hope this helps. Will.
2016-03-29 05:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to you everytime you break up with him you then think maybe he has changed or he will tell you he has changed and all he's doing is abusing you mentally. SO best thing to do is leave him and don't think about him and tell him your thru with him. Because if he's borderline violent now wait after a while he will be phycally and mentally abusing you. ANd the reason your body and your mind are liek that is because they are close to the breaking point where you will surrender to him totally and that's bad because no woman should go thru this. SO get the courage up and kick him to the curb and when you think and miss him again remember why you leaft him. It's for you own good and maybe you'll find someone who will love you for you and treat you the way a woman shoudl be treated. Want to chat more Im me anytime.
2007-03-18 09:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He is driving you crazy and he will make you go downhill if you don't do anything about it fast. You already know that you need to get rid of this guy and you are the only one who knows why you haven't already.
My advice, dump him for good by throwing everything he owns outside, change the locks to your place, leave a note that plainly says goodbye and never come back, get a new haircut, go shopping, and call up your trusted, old friends and explain your situation. Delete and get rid of everything you have of him, pictures, numbers, contact information. If he tries to contact you block him.
It will be difficult and it will take a lot of self control. But believe me, you will feel better about yourself later when you have saved yourself from unnecessary insanity. Try to remember that he is the last thing that makes you happy and it's only going to get worse.
Everytime you take him back, he will only lose respect for you and will never treat you any better. Remind yourself that your man should be the last person that should ever physically hurt you and emotionally and mentally abuse you. This guy deserves a pain-in-the-a$s-***** to straighten him up. But I suggest for you to take the higher road instead. You're better than that and you know it.
Do not let yourself have free time to think about him. Take up new hobbies (such as hiking, surfing, yoga, etc.), learn something new, volunteer at an organization, join clubs, meet new people, go to the beach, exercise, and even go traveling. See it as an opportunity for you to go out and see the world.
See this also as an opportunity to build your life up again and get your old self back but only better. Always try to make yourself feel good. From day one, you should go shopping, get a new hair cut, get a manicure and a pedicure, and catch up with old friends or family, like I've already mentioned.
When you catch yourself thinking about this good-for-nothing guy, stop yourself. You know he doesn't deserve you.
If he tries to sweet talk you, you know you're smarter than that. Don't ever fall for it. Besides, he shouldn't be able to since you should have completely cut him out of your life already and you shouldn't give him a chance to talk to you or explain anything.
Anyway, I hope you chose wisely and save yourself from this "man".
Good luck!
2007-03-18 09:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Honesty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he will drive you crazy only if you let it. See, you have a choice, there is always a choice, you donot have to put up with this kind of behavior!
It is time to cut him loose and move on.
It is not easy to cut him loose because your in Love with him. but you can do it. Just think of your finance and health and peace of mind. There is a man out there that will Love you for you and will treat you like a queen. Good Luck and May God Bless You! Keep in touch.
2007-03-18 09:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure women can go crazy by their men being deceitful, ever hear of a guy named "Bobbit"? He was taught a lesson.
But, it sounds like you could use a little counseling just to get your feelings out in the open, learn what's really causing them, and learn how to deal with them. You don't want or need violence in your life. Learn how to get away from it.
2007-03-18 09:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know that you are not supposed to be treated this way.
love does not harm the other person like this guy seems to be harming you...therefore...the man does not love you and is just using you for money, someone to control or what ever
be the smart woman you were before you let this guy into your life and dump the bum!
The only person holding you in this relationship is you...stop the self-abuse and move on!!!
be cool...
2007-03-18 09:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't put a stop to his abuse things are going to get much worst.
How long are you willing to put yourself in danger?
Don't you think enough is enough?
Before you get yourself involve with a man reevaluate what you really want, don't settle for just anybody so you're not alone. Sometimes is better to be alone than making another mistake.
2007-03-18 09:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen hun it isent a crime to feel stressed out it isent a crime to feel he's cheeting on you, I mean hell he may very well be doing it! but that does not lay the burden on you to try to make him happy, Now if hes heading in the direction of starting toi be abbusive it's time you put an "end" to your all's relationship hun it will Only get Worse! hey im Randy i'm on late every night till about 130am in yahoo messenger add me we'll talk more on this!
2007-03-18 09:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by rpoker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's quite simple really. You are living in a situation that is outside of your comfort zone. You are trying to make it work and everything you do fails. The answer is simple; get out now.
2007-03-18 09:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋