Is this fair? helP! My dad checks what I'm looking at on the computer?

Question

I'm a teenager & I have a laptop that i have and use in my room. I also use my dads computer that the whole family uses aswell. Well, my dad can actually check everything I'm doing on the computer from his work! Even if I clear history. Is this fair?? Does anyone have any sites that can prevent my dad from doing this

I want my privacy! not to be mean but my dad is weird & older [55 yrs old ]why should I let him look at my personal stuff like my msn convos

it's the principle

Answer 1

It's not like you have anything to hide, right?
;]

Answer 2

Your father has ever right (and indeed he has an obligation) to see what you do and where you go on-line.

His age is immaterial. It is your age that is important here.

There are many people and sites on-line that can lead to trouble. You probably don't realize it now; but your brain is going through a growth spurt during your teens and early 20s. The neurons that are developing are the ones that help you analyze the consequences of your actions. Your brain is not mature enough to keep you safe.

Your father wants you to be able to grow up safe and happy so you can be an independent, powerful woman. You have only to spend some time volunteering at your local rape crises center to see that not everyone out there cares if you are safe and happy.

Let your father protect you while he can. At the same time, pay close attention to the mistakes your friends make and learn from them. Don't fall into enormous debt buying cute clothes that are out of style in 4 months. Don't hook up w/ some strange Mr. Perfect you met on-line.

Remember, on-line a lot of people are lying. Especially if they are telling you exactly what you want to hear.

Answer 3

Do you think he is just nosey?
Do you think he has nothing else to do?
Do you think he just wants to make your life more difficult?
Do you think he doesn't trust you?

OR

Do you think he doen't want anything bad to happen to you?
Do you think maybe he doesn't trust others who may be in contact with you?
Do you think it might be a way of saying " I love you so much that I care what you are doing and with whom?"

There are a lot of girls out there with no fathers around or fathers that are too busy to even notice they have a teenaged daughter. Do you think they are the lucky ones?

I am a father of two sons. They were difficult enough when they were teens. I cannot imagine how much more frightening in would have been if they were girls with some of the things they pulled. But I think I am destined to find out now that I have a beautiful granddaughter.

Yes, my sons hated when I would check up on them and go through their things and follow up to make sure they were where they said the would be. They hated when I would not allow them to go somewhere when the possibility of drinking and other illegal activities would be occurring. They hated when I would not allow unsupervised parties etc. Then one weekend I would not let my eldest son go to a camping event where there were no parents. He was so mad at me I cannot tell you. His best friend went. He got drunk and drowned in a resevoir that same night.

After attending the funeral my son broke down and cried his heart out. He really wished his friend's parents had forbid him to go, too. I am sure they did also.

Hold on to your father's love. You may need it someday.


.

Answer 4

Parents are nosy and over protective. Sometimes they're just nosy to feel in control like "they're doing it for your best interest". It does sound creepy- you'd think he'd have something better to do than peep in on your chats. It's like sitting on the other line in the house and listening to your convo w/ someone else. Does he really do this or is he just saying it? Have you talked to him about it? It's fair to a point becuase there are a lot of crappy things that go on over the internet, but there's a line. Talk to him (rationally, don't throw a hissy fit, it's easy when you're young- and don't say "like" they hate that). You're lucky you even have a laptop some kids don't even get that. So anyway, talk to him and ask him why and what his rationality is behind that and share with him that you don't feel like your getting a chance to grow up or be independent if he's at your back all the time like training wheels. They do it for a reason, but like I said- there's a line.

Too many people get wrapped up in their self declared "parental obligation" and decide to throw out things like "THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT"... who the hell is talking about rights anyway? What I say to these people is get over it, it's not a power struggle and you're not going to lose. Don't say that to your dad though. Too many people get caught up in what they think is parenting instead of guiding and educating their children. Instead they say "because I said so" or keep them grounded. What sense is that? They're protecting them? Right...

If you do get this "freedom" that you want, don't be dumb and prove me or him wrong by doing s h i t like chatting with strangers and agreeing to meet or look at porn or do "illegal things" that a lot of kids don't even know of anyway... you can do lots of dumb innapropriate things on the internet, use it wisely.

Answer 5

It's your dad's job to parent so be a peace with this...and pray for those who's parents are not doing their job.

"Is this fair?? " From this you are learning three realistic things from your parent:

1. not everything in life is safe.

2. not everything in life is fair.

3. parents also teach things that can be placed on the back-burner for later use and pulled out when you are a parent. These lessons are to be stored for your parenting later in life and that is children and teens are to be parented. Too many parents think teenland = totally don't need a parent and expect thier teenager to behave equal to an adult so they don't have to parent. You are lucky in the way your father isn't selfish like that.

Answer 6

It is fair for your dad to do this. He wants to make sure you are not going to leave the house and meet a stranger and something else could happen. It is way of showing he cares. And if you are doing nothing bad what is your complaint? There are plenty of parents that give their kids free rein and dont care. Be happy he loves you!!:)

Answer 7

well if your dad can see everything you do he's gonna see this and your probably gonna get in trouble sweetie...
but yea that is fair he loves you and there are certain things kids need to be protected from on the computer.

Answer 8

Your father is protecting you from the pervs that are lurking the internet. Are you hiding something? Are you doing something or saying something that is disrespectful to yourself?

Watch "To Catch a Predator" on Dateline.

Answer 9

Hello, I am sorry but from all the horror stories I have heard you should not be angry but thankful that your Dad loves you enough to be present in your life ! Kenny M.

Answer 10

there is no site i dont think to prevent him from doing this there are a couple of teachers at school that can monitor are accounts there and there is no way to stop him. and if i were you i would like my privacy to.

Answer 11

Sorry at your age it is COMPLETELY appropriate that your Dad is in your business. It is appropriate for him to check on you and make sure you are not breaking any federal/state/local/house laws/rules. It is also appropriate that any and all information that he learns that does not break any rules/laws he politely forget and never mention to you or anyone else.