I have a 2 1/2 year old son he Goes crazy in public. It is just so hard to fight with his tantrums in public.?

Question

He screams and throws himself down. He runs away from me and when i chase him down he runs faster and thinks it is soo funny.he hits me all the time. it is just so imberrising. i feel like when we are out that i am doing everything wrong and everyone can see that. I need to know what to do in these situations.....thanks

Answer 1

First, don't be embarrassed. Just about EVERY parent deals with things like this and so when they see you in public they're just going to feel bad for you but most understand it.

Second, your child needs to have consequences and the consequences should be as natural and real life as possible. For example, if he is behaving, he can go with you and he can pick out one thing that he wants or the last stop of the day will be DQ (younger kids need smaller, more frequent rewards).

HOWEVER, if he misbehaves in public, then you can't bring him with you next time so...no reward. To make an even bigger impression, bring home DQ for yourself AND NOT HIM. And you don't want staying at home to be fun, so the baby sitter shouldn't make it a fun for him. It should be a negative consequence.

I understand that this sounds mean, but what you're doing is to show him what he can earn if he behaves. He'll likely have a fit that you didn't bring him ice cream, but that means he's getting it.

What's a good consequence for hitting? You don't want to be around him. So, he winds up in time out by himself.

I learned these techniques from Parenting with Love and Logic. They have a book AND classes. It's SUCH good stuff. I've used it with my boys and in my work with kids on probation. Works like a charm everytime.

Answer 2

Tell him go ahead, throw yourself down everyone is watching you act like that. Maybe then he will get embarrassed and stoop doing it. As for running through the store, try not to chase after him but stay close enough so that you can see him. Or how about putting him in the cart, bring a toy to keep him busy. You can also try a praise system by telling him if he stays with you, doesn't scream and run away he can have a special treat. Try that !! Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Tell him the consequences before you go ( he obviously is not going to really remember well since he is only 2 1/2,) But telling him these things every time you go out will eventually get to him. When you go out, if he starts to act up, get him and leave the store, even if it is inconvenient to you. One day I told my 3 year old he could walk in the grocery store instead of being in the basket, but if he ran away or misbehaved, he would go straight into the basket. He really didnt want that to happen, but he decided to run off and didnt want to come back to me, so I got him and put him into the basket. He was very upset, but I told him too bad, he didnt listen. Now I do that all the time and I only give him one warning. He is starting to learn now, because the first thing he says is I want to walk and I will be good, I promise..lol So he is getting it. It may take a while, but you have to be consistent with what you do.Dont let him get away with anything. I know how embarassing it can be for your child to do that and have everyone staring at you like you dont know how to control your child.

Answer 4

When I take my daughters out, we go to the toy section(it's not the first place I go) and we look at the books, or something that will keep their attention for a while. Then we play games. Can you see the blue book, or can you help Mommy find the soap,etc. I have never had to take my kids out of the store because of their behavior. All I have to do is threaten going to the car, and they stop. Why are you letting your two year old out of a cart? That would solve one of the problems right there. I always put my five year old in a cart. Who wouldn't want to be pushed around? If she gives me a hard time, I tell her it's the cart, or we go home. She always picks the cart. Please don't ignore them. If you are mad at your husband, does his ignoring you make you stop or make you even more mad? Exactly, just give him one warning. "If you do not stop, we are going to the car." If he keeps it up, take him to the car. After a few times of this, he'll stop. Good luck!

Answer 5

you should treat going out with your child as an reward for him. meaning gong to the store o something. in the car befor ehand you should say ":you were such a good boy or your yo helped momm a yesturday that you get to go to the mall wiht us or the store" and every few minutes keep saying how good he is and i am sure he would try to inpress you though the whole trip and at the end give him a littlebtreat either a toy candy or a ballon.... make goig ou in publi somethng he wantst do not forced to do

Answer 6

I'd set the rules down before you go. Let him know if he misbehaves you will leave where ever you are and go home. Where he will take a nap. If you have someone you could leave him with, when he acts up take him to that persons house and then finish what you need to do. He's old enough to understand there are rules. I would just tell him, mommy can't take you with her because you can't behave when we go out. Soon he'll learn to behave.

Answer 7

there is a harness for kids. I know this sounds mean but it works. i am a mother of 4. use this in public then make sure he knows that if he acts up it stays on but if he can be good then you will take it off. if he acts up again just put it back on. since spanking in public can get you locked up any more. and from what i have learned with my kids the time out thing doesn't work either

Answer 8

You need to let him know you have the upper hand. Right now you let him get away with alot and he knows he can run you over. More discipline (no hitting of course) but find different discipline techniques that you know he will not like. Get firm and be consistent.

Answer 9

Children like this make me crazy.. and I know he's making you crazy, too! He's laughing because he's got you running around after him... he's showing the world exactly who's in charge!! Here's what I suggested to a friend, and it worked with her adorable little devil-child...

The next time he acts like this, you pick him up quite firmly (walking erect and deliberately, as if you're being presented to the Queen...) and march him right back out to the car. No toys. No candy. NO RESPONSE to his hysteria (and he WILL pour on the dramatics!) You tell him he's not allowed to go out with you any more. (This can be difficult, because it means you get home without whatever you went out for... but you'll have to do it!) He'll hate that, but that's your rule.

Give it a couple days and make sure he knows you're going out and choosing NOT to take him with you because he does not behave properly. After a few days, ask him if he's ready to behave himself. Even if he says yes, use a child wrist-leash. (I know, I know... but you'll only have to do it once or twice, REALLY!) He'll hate it, so you tell himy ou will use it until he can behave himself when he's out with you. You then quietly and firmly let him know he needs to sit in the cart or stand directly by you while you're out in public... or whatever your rules are...

After a few times of that, so long as he's behaving, you take the wrist-leash with you, making sure he sees it... but don't use it. From then on it can be used on an as-needed basis. If he starts to act out, you simply say, "WE do not behave that way in public. Would you like to put the leash back on, or do we need to go home?"

That should work fairly quickly, actually... Just stick with each phase until he's ready to accept the next phase.. or has earned it. If he struggles with it, you just go back to the prior phase... if he's acting out with the leash, then back to the house he goes, not allowed to go out with you. A couple weeks did it for my friend and her son... who's now a quite well-behaved young man...

Answer 10

Hello amandamm about your wonderful son, what my grandmother used to do is tell them to wait outside, it usually works because they will not want to go outside by themselves, also you can whisper in his ear that when he gets home he will really get in trouble, you may also want to tell him whose boss don't ever leave the store and leave your stuff thier because he wanted to leave in the first place and your showing him he's the boss and if he does that next time you will leave the store
good luck with your son problems I pray for him
love KW