How can I tell my friends and family Im Gay?

Question

Ever since i was 11 I thoght i mat be gay. But I told all my freinds I was not gay. Then now that im 14 my friends have been calling me gay.

Answer 1

The Spread of Homosexuality

AMONG the things that make these days critical and hard to deal with is the spread of homosexuality. We read that “perhaps as many as 12 million American men and women” are homosexuals. (Time, October 24, 1969) In the Netherlands homosexuality has spread so much that the country has been called a “mecca of homosexuals.” And today homosexual themes and overtones crop up in stage plays, in motion pictures and even on the television screen.

Contributing to the spread of homosexuality is the trend toward legalizing it. Some years ago Britain made homosexual acts between consenting adults legal. Canada and West Germany, during the past year, have done the same. And two states in the United States have adopted similar legislation.

No small factor in the spread of homosexuality is the attitude of growing numbers of clergymen. A few years ago ninety Episcopal clergymen went on record defending homosexual acts between consenting adults as not being wrong in themselves. The softening attitude of the clergy toward homosexuality is also indicated by the result of a survey involving 3,000 Protestant clergymen. Published in McCall’s magazine of February 1968, the survey said:

“To follow a single thread through 3,000 letters is not easy; but one such thread was so clear as to be unforgettable—the surprising compassion extended to the homosexual.”—P. 147.

In some areas homosexuals live virtually in a world of their own. Thus one businessman in Los Angeles who owns two $60,000 homes boasts: “I live in a completely gay [homosexual] world. My lawyer is gay, my doctor is gay, my dentist is gay.”

WHAT IS IT?

There seems to be some vagueness on the part of many as to just what homosexuality is. The common impression is that only sodomy is homosexuality, that is, males having intercourse with one another. Sodomy is homosexuality, but not all homosexuality is sodomy. According to Webster’s Third New International Dictionary homosexuality is “erotic activity with a member of one’s own sex. . . . libidinal [sexual, lustful] gratification is sought with members of one’s own sex.”

Therefore any activity such as kissing, petting, fondling, that is calculated to arouse the passions of another of the same sex is homosexuality. And while most persons think of homosexuals as males, the term applies equally to females who carry on the same practices. However, there is another word that is limited to female homosexuality, namely, lesbianism.

DOES LEGALIZING IT MAKE IT RIGHT?

Even though one government after another legalizes homosexuality between consenting adults, does this make it right? Whether governments consider it a private matter or a public crime is something for which they must bear responsibility. But each individual must decide for himself his own attitude toward homosexuality. Lovers of God, truth and righteousness take the position of the apostle Paul: “Let God be found true, though every man be found a liar.”—Rom. 3:4.

The Bible, the Word of Jehovah God, cites the warning example of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah who lived over 3,800 years ago. As do so many homosexuals in modern prisons, they desired to gratify their lusts by raping men, in this case two angelic guests that came to visit the patriarch Lot, the nephew of Abraham. Concerning Sodom and Gomorrah the disciple Jude tells us that because of their having “gone out after flesh for unnatural use, [they] are placed before us as a warning example by undergoing the judicial punishment of everlasting fire.”—Jude 7; Gen. 19:1-29.

In his laws to the nation of Israel, Jehovah God clearly condemned homosexuality as something detestable and even prescribed the death penalty for it: “You must not lie down with a male the same as you lie down with a woman. It is a detestable thing.” “Where a man lies down with a male the same as one lies down with a woman, both of them have done a detestable thing. They should be put to death without fail. Their own blood is upon them.”—Lev. 18:22; 20:13.

The Christian Greek Scriptures are just as explicit as to how detestable homosexuality is in the sight of Jehovah God: “That is why God gave them up to disgraceful sexual appetites, for both their females changed the natural use of themselves into one contrary to nature; and likewise even the males left the natural use of the female and became violently inflamed in their lust toward one another, males with males, working what is obscene and receiving in themselves the full recompense, which was due for their error . . . those which was due for their error . . . those practicing such things are deserving of death.” Similarly the same apostle (Paul) tells us very explicitly that “neither . . . men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, . . . will inherit God’s kingdom.”—Rom. 1:26, 27, 32; 1 Cor. 6:9, 10; 1 Tim. 1:9, 10.

Yes, even if homosexuality be legalized, even if it becomes ever so popular, even if the whole world becomes like Sodom and Gomorrah, yet for Christians the truth of God’s Word still stands—homosexuality is something detestable, both to Jehovah God and moral man.

FRUSTRATING AND UNNATURAL

Since the laws of Jehovah God are in the best interests of man, it does not surprise Christians to find ever so many among the medical profession and other healing professions who speak out against this practice. They often speak of the frustration of the homosexual. And Dr. D. J. West, a leading London authority, who, incidentally, believes in tolerating homosexual acts between consenting adults, states: “No doctor should advise a young person to rest content with a homosexual orientation without first giving a grave warning about the frustration and tragedy that so often attend this mode of life.”

That this is not just the heterosexual viewpoint is apparent from a recent book by two homosexuals. After telling that there is a hierarchy of respectability for meeting places, the ‘gay’ bar being the most respectable and the street the least so, the authors go on to say:

“The street pickup is even more impersonal than the others; the conversation is shorter, there is less loitering, one comes to the point with crude and brutal rapidity that even the participants wish could somehow be prolonged.

“They meet, they have their sex, and they do not know each other’s names. They were lonely before, and they are lonelier after, gripped by despondency and by disappointment in themselves. . . . They walk aimlessly into the night, . . . perhaps searching . . . in the most disrespectable place, precisely because they think so little of themselves and of the type of sex life they are pursuing.”—The Homosexual and his Society, by D. W. Cory and J. P. LeRoy.

Not that this is the lot of all homosexuals. But it may well be the lot of the great majority. As Dr. West put it, “the frustration and tragedy that so often attend this mode of life.”

Underscoring the words of Dr. West is the statement of a practicing homosexual who admitted: “My life is a complete mess. But don’t let me make you think I am happy. I’m not. I’m miserable and looking for a way out. . . . I’m miserable and frustrated and tormented.”

Is it any wonder that the practice of homosexuality is so often frustrating? The Creator made the two sexes to complement each other, both for the purpose of ‘filling the earth’ and to bring fulfillment and happiness to each other. That man and woman were intended for each other is indicated by the very structure of the sex organs. Marital intimacies, carried on with consideration for each other, strengthen the marriage tie as well as the personality of each. Yes, where both husband and wife play the proper role according to God’s standard, marriage is beautiful and upbuilding.—1 Cor. 7:3-6; Eph. 5:22-33.

Does not the very soundness of the Bible’s heterosexual position at once underscore the unsoundness of the homosexual position? In the homosexual relationship one party often feigns or acts the part of the opposite sex, physically, mentally and emotionally, and so it is based on a lie. As the book Homosexuality, authored by the Society of Medical Psychoanalysts, Research Committee, said, “It is irrational to try to find feminine qualities in a male sexual partner.”

The spread of homosexuality means that many persons are taking up a way of life that so often brings frustration and misery. It is something detestable and loathsome in the eyes of God and lovers of righteousness. Our knowing what to do to avoid such an unhappy outcome, one disapproved by God, is the wise course to take. The following article discusses homosexuality’s causes and prevention.

Answer 2

People who really know you: they know, they know. Some people will probably hate me for this, but I think the answer to your question depends on how severely homophobic your parents are. Obviously, you shouldn't live a closeted life. But if I were you, I'd actually wait until you're an adult and there's no temptation for them to send you to christian camp or some other kind of deprogramming adventure. people can be complicated and messy, it is likely that some family members will never accept you 100%, even if they find a way to keep loving you, while others will be completely unphased or will feel even closer to you after you come out... I don't like this sad state of affairs, but I'm just trying to be realistic. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

At fourteen friends will call you lots of things...that doesn't mean you have to be any of those things. Why don't you try being straight as God intended you to be. It's a much better life. I don't care how thin you slice it, sin is still sin and homosexuality is not a "lifestyle", it's a sin. God said it; that settles it.

Answer 4

Make the promise you that you will still be friends after you talk to them. Then make them promise that they will tell nothing . Then tell them if they agree . This worked fine for me on me most trusted friends

Answer 5

Just tell them and no matter what they do don't let them change your mind. It is okay to be gay

Answer 6

Be honest,family should love you for who you are,not who they want you to be,good luck,Robin

Answer 7

Just say it.