Does he love me or not? *please read* i really need help?

Question

I have a friend whom i have loved for a long time. I know everyone says im only in highschool but its true. We have known each other since 5th grade. We liked each other in 6th-8th grade on/off. (or so i think it was on/off....unless it was always on) and we went out in 8th grade for like a month. But both of us knew we went ready to actually go out so we stoped. Then i was talking to him that summer and i found out his ex-girlfriend, one of my close friends, cheated on him when she went to Cali. to visit some friends. But i didnt talk to him after that. I started going out with my ex over the summer and he got PISSED. He told me he wasnt good enough for me and stuff but he said he liked someone and i asked him if she was pretty and he said no. shes beautiful but she has a boyfriend. I found out that day from him that it was me. so we talked and i was still with my bf. 2 months before i broke up with my boyfriend my friend said he still liked me ALOT. But he also liked our friend

Cassandra. So soon i broke up with my bf and my friend started acting differently like he didnt like me at all. Not picking up my calls and all this other crap. He still doesnt pick up when i call but he talks to me ALOT more now and stuff now that cassandra turned him down. But he hasnt acually said he likes me. Any advice on my on/off relashonship?? I really do have feelings for him. HELP! Should i just forget him since ive had it with him getting pissed when i try and move on?

Answer 1

Ever heard of or played the game called, "Musical chairs?"

From what you've said, you're playing "Musical boyfriends" here.

If you really cared about someone, versus just wanting to have a boyfriend, you would stick with him and let him know that you want an exclusive relationship. All you're doing here is playing silly head games with these guys.

It's not the relationship that is on & off -- it's your mind. It's like a light switch. You have yet to figure out what you want in a guy, but instead of getting that together before finding one, you do it in reverse: get the boyfriend, then figure out what to do with him.

Life does not work that way.

You need to sit down, take out a piece of paper, and write on it the five most important things you want a boyfriend to be or to have. If honesty and loyalty are not high on your list, or even on the list, then you need to rethink what a boyfriend is supposed to be. Romantic love is important, but it should not be on this list because it is the one thing that separates boy friends from boyfriends. In other words, it is a given.

Also, all relationships have problems, but the solution to them is not to break up, but to work on them, jointly and honestly with your BF. Your used to getting your way, but you have to let go of some of that control and share it with your BF. Think teamwork here. Both a girl and a guy need to invest in the relationship equally, or it will not last.

I need to reiterate that lasting relationships require a whole lot more than just, "I like him a lot," or "I love him," because there will be days when you just do not feel very friendly or loving, and a good relationship is able to withstand these temporary challenges.

What matters most is how you think and act, not your chronological age. If you think more like an adult and accept responsibility for your actions, then you will act less like the child whose had her toys taken away (metaphorically speaking).

You have not been totally honest with yourself here, and the time for doing so is now.