how to get through a break up, please, help?

Question

It's one thing when you break up because you fight a lot or there's another person or smth, but I loved that person for 3,5 years and absolutely all this time was fantastic. Yeah, there were fights, and preasure from family and friends but the rest of the time we were having soo much fun and so much to share and I thought he was my twin sould-i loved his scent, touch, every word he uttered, i knew he would never do anything to hurt me. You may say i'm naive but it was THAT wonderful. But one day he came back from a trip and said that he doesn't see his future with me, that he cannot give the things I need, like security, and comfort and that he still loves me and wants to stay friends. I know he hasn't met anybody, he just has a quality i don't , that's realistic thinking. And I know that if he says we cannot be together that's true. But i love and i miss. Everything that he is or was, i miss the world with him, i cannot stand the world without him by my side.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. im hurtin right now too. its really hard at first but i guess we just have to trust that "time will heal our wounds". in my situation I hear all of the suggestion from friends and i know that what they say is the right thing to do, but it doesnt make it easier. we cannot change the other person. take some relief in the fact that you have tried all you can. i wish it was easier, and i wish that i could say something and make you feel better. its going to hurt for a while, but you will be HAPPY again. i really hope i helped, at least a lil. read some of the other postings on here, it helps me. good luck

Answer 2

He's no longer interested and its clear. Try to understand why and then give him the space he needs. Whatever happens make sure youre not forcing yourrself on him. If his mind is set on the fact that it wont work, then it wont. no matter what you do. it would hurt real bad invariably, but for your own sake, you would have to move on. am sure right now, this would sound like rubbish and its seems like there cant be better times but there would be with someeone that deserves you.Dont run off too quickly and dont push it either. all he might need is some space. dont get too depressed. Make yourself desirebale to other guy. After all, the competitor in every guy, wants a girl desired by other guys. just live your life positively and the best way you can live it.
The main thing is this, if he's not yours, then you'll find someone who deserves you, real soon at that too. SMILE

Answer 3

Yes, this is tough and I feel for you. At this time, take extra care of yourself. Take a hot bath, pamper yourself, and stay busy. Try not to ruminate on your relationship, this could make you feel even worse right now. Listen to music, but not anything that reminds you of him. Exercise. Get a manicure and pedicure. Get a new hair cut. Go shopping. The pain will fade in time. It sounds like you are very much attached so at this point, I don't think staying friends or seeing him would be a good idea. It does sound like your life is falling apart. I suggest reading "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron.

If you have a best or close friend or close family member, it may be good to have a cry or talk with them. Yes, cry, let it out. It may be hard to hear, but this too will pass. And that which does not kill you makes you stronger. Yep, it's true.

I really do feel for your predicament.

Answer 4

Oooh come on...don't be so pessimist...he's not the only man in the world...ok, i understand that it's difficult to get over a relationship of 3,5 years but that's how life is...1 moment you are happy, you feel that god loves you and you've got everything you want and love and the other moment you lose the ground under you....and you wonder "why this to me??" but -unfortunately- there's nothing we can do except from facing the truth and moving on...That's what you should do...forget him and don't let him make you hurt anymore..if he doesn't want to be with you anymore you 're not going to die!!! Life continuous...it's like a train....you may not hurry to catch it the 1st time but you have to go to the next station and catch it otherwise you'll never reach your destination...Get what i mean?? So forget this jerk and move on to the next station which will lead you to a wonderful, peaceful place like "Paradise"....it may sound like a "fairytale" but that's life...it's your life and you can make it "Paradise",.. Don't let a jerk make it "Hell"...(also advice him visit a psychologist as soon as possible...how can he change his mind so quickly?? GOD...)

Good luck and MOVE ON...Find a man/boy that will love you. and if things don't go so well move to the next station. Don't lose a moment of your life. Enjoy your life as much as you can...

If you need anything else don't hesitate to contact me at :
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Answer 5

either he has been duper into thinking your relationship is over or Fate or God decided he was never the right Guy for you.
You always hear the stories about the Donald Trumps, the Don Juans but you never hear how they got there....they were the few who fell at least 7 times and got up 8....
If he doesn't believe in your relationship it doesn't matter if he met somebody or not. Two to make it ....only one to break it.
Don't be miserable....3 S's START over,STAY away from him,SET your heart and be prepared for the one coming in life who is worthy of your sweet devotion

Answer 6

Bless this man and the lessons that he brought to you. Thank him for the time that he did give you. Keep the wonderful memories and pick yourself up and look for the next person, the next adventure. We were never meant to be with one person our whole life. We were meant to love and learn from everyone who crosses our path. When you understand this and take it to heart, you will stop feeling bad about the separation and lovingly let him go.

He may be a free spirit who needs his freedom. He will never be tied to one person. Good for him that he could honestly share this with you. Keep him in your life as a friend if you are capable of letting him be just a friend. If his presence causes you pain, honestly tell him that you can't be his friend.

Good luck on your journey.

Answer 7

AWWW. U gone be ok becuz i went through that but just leave him alone for a while and dont call him and when he call u act like everything is normal becuz he has to realize how life would be without u and he gone realize the changes and if he loves u he will return. u never know what you are missing until its gone and let him realize that. U just feel ike that for this time period but God dont let u be heart broken forever. U gone get over it, it takes time. Pray.

Answer 8

First of all there's plenty of fish in the sea.your world is not going to end if his not in it.life goes on and you need to move on get over it.if a man tells you he absolutely cannot be with you he probably had met someone.that's reality.it hurts but that's part of life.there's rejection and hurt.that's the only way you can grow from your mistake in life.so please don't think that your life ends here without him.he does'nt think the way you do.look at it this way you can always have a fond memory of himin your memory box.

Answer 9

Just um I think the best thing to do is to let it out first
cry all night
eat ice cream
eat chocolate
let it all out then move on You'll find it easy to move on when you let all your emotion out of you
We ought to move on thru life
As they say
"The darker the night the nearer the dawn"

Good luck in achieving happiness

Answer 10

Ying and yang. life never takes more then it give at first its hard but memories will fade.you just need time (and a lot of chick flick movie nights)u will find Ur one and only when u r least expecting it don't worry.

Good luck!