Relationship dilema, given choice?

Question

I met my boyfriend while studying abroad, and for the past few months we have kept a strong long distance relationship. There has always been something bothering him, and just yesterday he told me what it was.

He was born with extra bones in his left arm and leg, and will have them removed by surgery. At the moment, he already had one operation on his arm, which I knew about, and it left a not-so-pretty scar.

Just image that this guy fits all characteristical qualities: loyal, honest, open, encouraging, etc...but physically, he was not what was expect. I do not mean to sound shallow.

I do not judge someone based on outward appearances firstly. But, he has told me that it is my choice if I want to find someone better, such as in appearences. He wants the best for me.

He is from another country, culture, and religion, as well.

What would you do?

Answer 1

The first man i ever met and fell in love with was a goddess to look at and had all the qualitys that i now realize were superficial, we spent time together and i enjoyed his company.. until the times got tough.. than i seen those true colors and my heart was broken.. later in life.. i met a man who was some may consider average.. a mans man. talk about the tables turning and being superficial, we dated and i didnt feel much at first, everything was and is oppisites in our relationship, but i found that he balanced my life, gave me some of what i didnt have and i also found myself saying, if something happened to him and he became ill, disabled or couldnt work or horribly disfigured .. am i staying in this for the long haul.. yes was my answer and i knew then and there .. he was the love of my life. 10 years and 2 children later, we are so happy. i guess my point is this man sounds decent and honest and youve only just begun. to have him be so far away, now if you can make it past that well your on your way... that would be my first question, can i handle a long distance romance.. as far as the different religion and culture aspect.. if you cant conduct a lifestyle together because of it. ... i might wonder what i would do if the relationship progressed where marriage was an option, i guess id be telling myself, how much about this mans personality do i like and give it time.. its only been awhile.. you cant possibly know what you want yet unless the answer is cut him loose... you may find down the line that he could look like an ape with a bad overbite and youd still be madly in love.. heheh..

Answer 2

I would get down on my knees and thank God that he brought me a man of such strong character and integrity. He loves you so much that he is putting your happiness and desires above his own.

If his physical appearance is that important to you, do him a kindness and tell him now so he can look for someone who understands that physical appearance is just an external shell. It is a person's heart and soul, what is inside, that is important. If you fully understood this, you would not have asked your question.

I think you have already started a list of reasons why you don't want him. Physical appearance, country, culture, religion.

Answer 3

Long distance relationships are a hassle but some have succeed.You two might be the lucky few from what I am hearing.Stay with him and stay open with each other.Tell him that somehow that if his feelings change for you or he is beginning to like someone else to let you know at the beginning.So that way you and him know where things are leading to.I wish you the best!!!

Answer 4

it extremely is in basic terms too messy for a 22 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old. He cant be depended on and which will no longer likely replace. Youre so youthful and he's have been given bags & an particularly dim destiny. Its your turn to take a stroll precise out the door. Be sturdy & be smart! Peace.

Answer 5

Ask yourself. Do you think another man with less bones will be acceptable for you? Or is that bones that count? will a scar on the body affect you? What are your preferences?
If I were you, I will ignore everything since I know that he is loyal, honest, Open and encouraging. Next I will also check whether he will be suitable to me as a life partner. Then rest of it will be ignored and I will go on with him. Definitely, he will be more intimate with me because, I have opted him in spite of my having better choices....

Answer 6

It sounds like he really likes you. If you like him stay with him. Focus on the positives and not the negatives. Dont forget that all guys have flaws. There will be something you dont like about another guy you date. If you really like him you will be able to deal with his appeance. The country culture and religion also doesnt matter. Some people like people who are different than them and have more things to talk about.

Good Luck ; -) !!!

Answer 7

Unfortunately, we Humans are the worst judges of our own selves. What looks horrible to him might look not bad or maybe not even noticeable to others. If you are comfortable with a man that makes you feel that secure, what's looks have to do with it. Culturally you would have to understand his ways and he yours. Hope this helps. Will.

Answer 8

I don't think it is a matter of what we would do. You alone can answer this question and quite frankly you are shallow for asking this question. If you really love him, then this wouldn't be an issue. Do the guy a favor and let him go. He doesn't deserve you.

Answer 9

Stay with the man who possess all the wonderful character traits of the perfect man. No one is perfect physically. And if they are they are usually compensating for character flaws.

Answer 10

U r not shallow. Ur friends looks don't matter but if u want it to work out romantically u need the physically attraction so u 2 should be good friends but i don't think u should date if Ur not physically attracted to him.