Why can't you be Smart AND be a Man?

Question

In this country at least, seems to be status quo that if you try to be both, something must be wrong with you. If you're personally not afraid to resort to violence or some type of self-defense, naturally as a last resort, you're stereotyped as a retarded Neanderthal, pretentious macho man. But if you resort solely to a battle of wits, you're a p*ssy? Why are people afraid to be both? And why are people so terrified of people who aren't afraid to be both?

Answer 1

You are a superior man if you are smart and unafraid to stand up for yourself physically. You are a man of integrity, courage and bravery. Don't let anyone tell you differently. They fear this man because he show them what they are not and can never be. He holds up the mirror of truth to their cowardice.

Answer 2

Are you talking about smart or intelligent? Do not confuse the two.

I believe you are trying to define majority of humans in this case which does however contain a few flaws. I do not know your environment so I cannot say exactly what you're current image of a "man" is, however, it does seem you are judging a man based on brute force. Go out there and grab a few opinions; a man is not one who forces his way through all obstacles but rather most will vow that a man is one who contemplates upon each of the obstacles and finds a way around it without the omitting of much energy. That's what I would call a man.

Plus, to be more simplistic, women hate when their boyfriends are engaged into numerous fights. My friend, the other day, cried when her boyfriend went into a fight; and even though he technically won the fight she was still heartbroken and a bit dissapointed by the fact he actually fought.

Weight the benefits and detriments of this conflict, I believe you are being one-sided at the moment and are on the wrong side of spectrum maybe. Open your mind to ALL humans.

Take Care

Answer 3

tell me about it. i mean, im not a man, but i only know a few smart ones. and none of them being my peers. and when a smart guy comes along, everyone ridicules them and are afraid of them. and why? because humans are afraid of the unknown. and to many ppl., a smart guy is unknown. but the best thing to do is to be urself and be proud of who u r. cuz that will get u someplace in life.

Answer 4

i think u can be both... i kno som1 who is (trust me in my country its kinda the same situation with the man thing) and he is actually 1 of the most popular guys in high school!! lol he's got it all... but there's a difference between being smart and being a nerd... try to show that u r SMART...

Answer 5

I think a guy should be both.
I mean, he should be smart and all, but if another guy insults me really bad or something, it'd be nice to see him beat the snot out of the other guy.

Answer 6

I think you can be both. Trick would be to know the right circumstance to be which one...

Answer 7

i lost you right after the first sentence

Answer 8

FORGET ABOUT THEM U LIVE UR LIFE

Answer 9

Ah hem, you can be smart and a man. A real man does not need to resort to violence.

There are young men all around the world who think it's being a man when they get into fights, commit crimes, etc. However, I tend to think of those type of men as being cowards, stated so eloquently in this statement by the finance of Tom ap Rhys Pryce, a lawyer murdered in London by two young boys, named Carty and Brown. They attacked him for his mobile phone and oyster card (train ticket).



"My name is Adele Eastman. I am the fiancée of Tom ap Rhys Pryce. I have been invited to make a statement on the impact that Tom's murder on 12 January has had on me.


I had hoped I might be able to read my statement from the witness box in open court. I wanted Carty and Brown to hear directly from me the absolute devastation which they have caused.


I must start by saying that my sense of pain and horror at losing Tom, and in such a brutal way, is literally indescribable. I have found it almost impossible even to try to put it into words but hope that I manage to convey it at least to some extent through my statement.


Tom was determined from an early age to reach his full potential in life. He worked incredibly hard and made the most of every opportunity available to him. He gave his best in everything he did and he succeeded. Yet, despite his many achievements, he was the most humble person I have ever known.


In a message left on the tree next to where he died, a friend of ours wrote: 'I remember sitting next to you at our friend's wedding, standing to sing the first hymn, and looking in wonder at you as this pure, amazing voice came out. I had no idea, after so many years of knowing you, how beautifully you sang. You were often like that - quietly achieving all these amazing things.'


There was still so much more that Tom wanted to achieve and to experience. I grieve for his loss of life and for my loss of him.


Tom was my best friend, my soul mate. I adored him - I always will. I miss him more than I could ever describe: his beautiful heart, his brilliant mind, his big loving eyes, his gentle voice, his gleeful laugh and quirky sense of humour, his dancing, our chats and the great fun that we used to have together. I miss us.


We had been together for four years last October when Tom asked me to marry him. It was the most beautiful moment of my life. I said 'yes' immediately-through tears of joy. We were deeply in love and blissfully happy together. One of our friends wrote, in his letter of condolence to me: 'The love between you was so infectious. It radiated outward and filled everyone around with warmth.'

Our plans for our wedding, which was due to be held in Italy in September, were going so well and, as with everything, Tom and I planned it together. We were so excited - the period of our engagement (just three short months) was the happiest time of our lives.


On the day Tom was killed, he had made contact with the priest who was due to conduct our wedding ceremony. He printed off the details he had received that afternoon, together with his wedding vows. They were found later that night strewn around him on the pavement as the paramedics battled to save his life.


We had felt that the best was yet to come: our wedding, children and a long and happy marriage. But it was all only ever to be a dream. As I ran in and out of our home that night over a period of hours - frantic for news of Tom - as I received the news of his death, as I lay convulsing in shock, Carty and Brown were chatting to their girlfriends on Tom's and Mr Ali's mobile phones.


The day after Tom's murder, a friend kindly cancelled the appointment I had made to show my mother what would have been my wedding dress. We then had to wait for a couple of days before being able to identify Tom's body. I could not do it. I could not bear to see Tom dead. I wanted our last memory of each other to be the same - the wonderful goodbye we had had on the Thursday morning at the train station.


In a matter of seconds wedding plans and a future together had changed to funeral plans and a lifetime apart.


I will never forget the complete confusion of Tom's three-year-old niece on the day of his funeral: one day being swung through the air and chased around the garden by her beloved uncle Thomas; the next, there were no more games, there was no more laughter - only tears. As she sat quietly by his graveside, her little hands gripping hold of the edge, we watched her uncle Thomas being gently lowered in a 'big box' into the ground. If there was anything left of my heart to break, it broke in that moment.


The pain is unlike anything I have ever experienced and unlike anything I could have ever imagined. I feel as though Carty and Brown have ripped out my heart with their bare hands and torn it, very slowly, into pieces.


Witnessing the pain that our families and friends are also suffering only adds to my own. The waves of devastation caused by Carty's and Brown's greed and bravado roll on and on. The attack which they carried out on Tom was barbaric: they showed him no mercy and have shown absolutely no remorse since.


They have made the experience even more agonising by refusing to face up to and admit to their crime and by dragging me, our families and friends through a full trial.


Greed fuelled Carty's and Brown's attack on Tom but it is obvious, particularly from the trademark injury which they inflicted on his left leg, that they were also trying to play the 'big man'.


I despair at their deeply misguided sense of logic because it is not a man who attacks a defenceless person with a knife, or any other weapon, or hunts victims down in a pack, it is a complete coward, someone who lacks the confidence to take someone on on an equal footing and instead feels the need to put themselves at an unfair advantage.


There can be no sense of victory for Carty and Brown over Tom - he never stood a chance in the first place. He was alone, defenceless and a stranger to violence. I very much doubt that, as children, any of the hopes and aspirations they held for their future included killing a man and yet here they stand convicted of that heinous crime.


What happened along the way for them to become so cruel and hateful towards others and at such a young age? What a huge waste of life - not just of Tom's but also of their own - years in prison for an Oyster card and a mobile phone. How, on any level, could it have been worth it for them?


Tom did his best to make it home that night and he nearly made it. Although I was not there to help him, or to hold him in his final moments, as I desperately wish I had been, it comforts me to know that as he passed on from this world, he was absolutely safe and secure in the knowledge that it just would not be possible for me to love him any more than I do and will forever.


There are no more tomorrows here for me and Tomand all of our hopes and dreams have been brutally torn away. I just hope that there is something better for us on the other side. In the meantime, just as hate and bitterness had no place in Tom's life, neither will they in his memory.


I am determined to ensure, along with many others, that as much good as possible comes out of this horrific tragedy, so that I can say to Tom when I see him again, as I believe I will: 'That was the most agonising experience of my life but everything that you worked so hard to achieve, and everything of you that you left behind, was cherished and built upon to touch the lives of others in the way you would have wanted - and it was all done out of our great love for you.'


My family, Tom's family and I are all so thankful that justice has been done for Tom. We are enormously grateful to everyone involved in securing the convictions against Carty and Brown - for their relentless hard work, determination and support. We especially wish to thank the Metropolitan Police, in particular Teresa Defanis, Steve Smith, Tony Bishop, Paul Webb (our liaison officer), and all the team. We are also extremely grateful for the meticulous presentation of the prosecution case by Mr Richard Horwell QC, and Mr Simon Dennison."