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Johnny," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?

"Thirty-four," Johnny answered unhesitatingly.

The teacher replied "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me...how did you guess?"

Oh, there's nothing to it," Johnny said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."

2007-03-18 06:49:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

19 answers

ha ha thats quite good

2007-03-18 06:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by katie 2 · 1 0

L O L no i'm pmsl 10/10

2007-03-18 07:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in "your" son's closet."
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him,
"Well what should we do about this?"
Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a ***** is four; four plus four, the son of a ***** is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a *****...'"
"Johnny !" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.
"Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
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Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

2007-03-18 07:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by ineedu2luveme 2 · 2 1

thats funny

2007-03-18 07:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by shepp959 3 · 1 0

thats funny

2007-03-18 06:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by rauj17 2 · 1 0

I'm sorry, but I can't figure out the punchline.

2007-03-18 06:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 0 0

OH AM I SUPPOSED TO LAUGH!?
OH YEAH, HA-HA-HA.
NOT FUNNY!
GET A LIFE!
=D

2007-03-18 06:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by (: 2 · 0 1

cute

2007-03-18 06:53:50 · answer #8 · answered by Hailey R 2 · 1 0

hee hee

2007-03-18 07:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by x yasmine x 3 · 0 0

heh

2007-03-18 06:54:43 · answer #10 · answered by ivy_trick_mess 4 · 0 0

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