Okay I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years yet I have never met his family or even his kids! When we see each other he always gets a hotel room. Out of 4 years he has never once taken me anywhere, and when I invite him somewhere he always seem to have an excuse. Last week he was in a car accident and did not call me until he was out of the hospital. He claims he was in pain and his phone was turned off. Then this last friday his brother passed away and again I didn't know until the next day. The only reason I found that out is because I called him.
Something else that bothers me is after we make love he always goes straight to the bathroom and washes up. Everytime I try to break up with him he makes me feel bad and I always take him back. He asked me to marry him almost two years ago, yet he will not set a date. I feel like there is someone else.
2007-03-18 05:55:24 · 20 answers · asked by shauna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only thing that doesn't send up a red flag for me is the washing up after sex. I don't think that's too awfully abnormal. Not necessarily common, but not entirely strange.
For the rest of what's been going on...wow! Do you have a ring on your hand? If you do, you are at least half way engaged. Otherwise, without a date or a ring...(I mean, you even called him your boyfriend, not your fiancee)
Not meeting his family isn't a huge big deal, troublesome but not huge...however, not meeting his kids? That's scary. And the hotel room? Something is very shady here.
Here's what I would do: If you know where he lives or works, just show up. After four years, you have every right. See what he does.
Personally, I think he's got a wife or a live in girlfriend. I think you have been the mistress. Go get some answers. You deserve them.
2007-03-18 06:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by Marina D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now come on, this is a no brainer. You have all the signs. He is cheating. You are his girl on the side. He is in a serious relationship with someone ele whom he lives with (that's why he takes you to a hotel and washes up after making love.) He is probaby married. He didn't call you after those times because she was there and he doesn't want to get caught up. Honey open your eyes. He is definitely cheating. Move on. You just wasted four years of your life, please don't continue that. Find someone else and recognize the signs earlier on.
2007-03-18 13:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say there is a good chance he is cheating. But even if that isn't the case there must be a reason that he is keeping you at such a distance from his personal life. If you want to have a continued relationship with him you have the right to know what's going on. If he doesn't respect you enough to share that reason then it's probably time to move on and find someone else who does not only want to meet you in hotels.
2007-03-18 13:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by Apriltg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably the "other woman".
Most of the time, when you truly suspect someone is cheating, they are.
After four years, you should know him well enough to make such a decision.
What does he say when you mention any of this? Have you? If he gets defensive yet there are still no results, get rid of him.
Does he only call you when he wants to have sex with you? Do you have sex with him everytime you see him? I'm sorry to say that you may just be a booty call.
2007-03-18 13:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by NEONhearts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say YOU are the "someone else".
To me your relationship sounds like it's just sex. Nothing more; and it will never be more. Sorry to be so negative. Break up with him and don't let him guilt you into coming back...before you waste more time. Next time, wait to have sex until you get married. It's the best way.
2007-03-18 13:00:46 · answer #5 · answered by karen i 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's unstable and not worthy of your time. And why you continue to give him the time of day puzzles me.
You need to be strong and break the attachment. You don't want to get involved with someone who lives a secret life. You have known him for four years, yet you really don't know him at all.
Think about it.
2007-03-18 13:00:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is cheating, or is up to something else. why would you want to be with someone like this? i mean, he should not be doing all this stuff to you. why do you want to marry someone and spend your life with someone who does not love or respect you? let alone treat you how you deserve? break up with him right now, dont feel sorry for him and DONT take him back. don't let yourself get duped in and dont make him let you feel guilty. he is the one using you. go out and find someone who will love you, ne kind to you, care about you and what you think, listen to what you want, and share his future with you and make your dreams come true!
2007-03-18 13:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four YEARS???? Wake up, honey!!! This is a married man! All the signs are there. He asked you to marry him 'cause he knows he cannot and it's a safe thing to do to get you into bed. You are being a fool.
2007-03-18 13:02:46 · answer #8 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your boyfreind?
I'm a guy, and to be completely honest, the only reason that I would behave the way your " boyfriend " is behaving is either because I had someone else or I only wanted you for sex.
2007-03-18 13:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by octo75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm, everything points to the fact that he's married and you're his mistress. That's why you haven't been to his house, met his family, never can get ahold of him when you call. Wise up, he's using you, sweetie. =(
2007-03-18 13:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by schaianne 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋