i have been in my relationship ten years we are not engaged or married he lives with me i have two children one is his the other one is not . i have tryed to leave him on afew ocassion and he has destroyed property i feel that i cant get him to move on and i feel trapped and we are no longer intimate anymore. i feel lost and he puts me down when he drunk and never does any thing with us as a family he works monday friday and says the weekend is his ..
2007-03-18 05:48:54 · 25 answers · asked by louise 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey you really need to get out of the relationship, it sounds that you are not getting anything out of this but heartache and stress. I would suggest that you do not do it on spur of the moment unless it is unsafe, rather take some time to plan it out as you also have the children to think about.
Good luck
2007-03-18 05:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by ANDREW J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to get married? If you're not happy with the arrangement and it's been ten years I think you have your answer.
Either way, he doesn't sound like much of a catch. Is this the role model you want for your children?
IF all he is doing is destroying property no big deal. If you think he may hurt you or a kid have some friends nearby or at ready to help you (or to call the police). Best to have the kids somewhere else just for the aftermath (arguing that could occur anyway).
If you'd rather avoid involving friends then just pack up one day and move out.
You should never stay in a relationship because you are threatened to stay in it.
2007-03-18 05:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by Eric L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to decide what you want from the relationship.
If you feel it is over--and it seems that way to me--then the time has come to be strong.
There are two ways to go, either he leaves or you do. if it is his house you may as well cut your losses and move out. You can go to a womens refuge if you fear he will become violent and they will help you to find alternative accommodation.
The other way is to ask him to move out and mean it. If he gets violent phone the police they will attend even though it is a domestic.
You are going to have to be really strong for quite a while, but eventually you and your children will have peace and a good home life.
Best of luck to you.
2007-03-18 06:01:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sound totally selfish . But stop being a doormat your life and that of your childrens are worth more than property . You need to tell him what you want from your relationship and if he doesnt appear to be interested carry through your decision to leave him . Everytime you do not carry out your threats you are giving him the go ahead to carry on in his ways . Good luck to you darling lifes to short be strong ....
2007-03-18 05:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this. I think you already know the answer to your own question!! Get rid of him, he is a waste of time.. Weekend - what about you and your children. He needs to grow up and accept his responsibilities!! If you put your foot down and told him you not happy or get out he will more than likely leave. You will then be happy to get on with your life with your children.
2007-03-18 05:54:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am sorry to hear about you situation.
My opinion is that this guy doesn't respect you at all.He just think about himself,actually you should do the same.
As you have only one life,you already spent 10years of it the way you don't want to. It's time to do something about it.
Talk with somebody, for example SAMARITANS. They might give you advice where to go next. Remember you are not alone. but you are the only one who can say enough is enough.
Good luck
2007-03-18 05:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by delta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your only solution is to leave. It is going to be very difficult. It's better that he destorys property when you leave than hurt you or your kids. If he is not open to seeing a counselor, you need to get out of there sooner rather than later. In time, things will improve when you are separated.
2007-03-18 05:55:04 · answer #7 · answered by Drink Beer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Change locks on the door
2) send his clothes to his parents (or best friend) in a taxi at the same time
3) telephone the police if he starts and tell them that someone is causing a breech of the peace - do not let him in over the meantime
4) see a solicitor about maintenance for your youngest.
2007-03-18 05:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stay with him. He has to choice between you or drinking. If not move out get some friends and take all your things at once.
2007-03-18 05:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by burn409 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes a selfish ******** you just need to be strong for your kids and tell him to stop, drinking and get counselling to help his addiction until then you want to keep well away from him and if he starts smashing stuff up just phone the police thats what they are their for and press charges that would make this man realise you are not going to be walked all over
2007-03-18 05:53:18 · answer #10 · answered by MARIE S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋