i am 13 and i am dating a 16 year old i think he really likes me but i dont want to loose him should we have sex? i dont want to loose him but im not ready for the consequence of pregnancy. should i have sex with him especially since we have been together for 4 years? i dont want to make the wrong choice.
2007-03-18 05:47:16 · 16 answers · asked by 50%cubarican50%elsalvadorian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No you should not. There is no reason for you to lose your virginity in order to keep a boyfriend. What kind of boyfriend is that anyway? He should not be pressuring you into having sex no matter how long you've been together. Its about respect. He can try to have sex with you but when you say no, he should respect it until you are ready. If you say you're not ready, then don't do it. True you are not ready for the consequences of parenthood, most of us aren't. Just do yourself a favor and wait, you will not regret it later. Most females I know regret losing their virginity, no matter how old they were when they lost it. Just wait. You won't regret that.
2007-03-18 05:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's "lose" (not "loose") and no, you shouldn't be having sex. You are way too young to handle the stuff that could come with it.
Sex not occur before:
1. You are ready to deal with a pregnancy, should it occur
2. You are ready to deal with an STD, should it occur
3. When you know how a woman can become pregnant (all the ways it can occur)
4. When you know what the various STDs are and how they are transmitted and how to help protect against them
5. When you are ready to insist your partner wear a condom
6. When you are on a reliable form of birth control and using it properly
7. When you are ready to deal with any emotional issues that may come from being intimate with another person
Until you've got those things covered, you should not have sex.
Besides, sex is NO guarantee a guy will stay with you...often the reverse happens (when the chase is over, he dumps you)...so save sex for someone you want to be with intimately, a few years down the road. Never EVER use it to try to keep a guy...that'll backfire on you nearly every time.
2007-03-18 12:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have been together since you were 9?
Sweetheart, you are far to young to consider making a decision like this. First of all, in most states, sex with your boyfriend would be illegal and considered statutory rape. Second, you already said the most important thing... "im not ready for the consequence of pregnancy"... if you are ready to have sex, then you need to be ready to face the consequences as well. I think it is an incredibly bad idea to have sex at this young age and it will be a decision you will regret for the rest of your life. If you are still using the term "like" and not the term "love" after 4 years of dating, you are are not ready for sex. Sex isn't just the act, there are many emotional consequences that go along with it, and most college kids aren't even ready to deal with what comes with sex.
Trust me... if you are going to lose him because you wont have sex with him, he isn't worth it to begin with. If he loves you, he will wait until you are MUCH older and more ready to make that choice responsibly.
2007-03-18 12:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships in your age, or even his, are not likely to continue. The real point here, is that sex is something you may have only when you are responsible for its consequences. I won't talk about the legal side and tell you that you're illegal. I'm considering you an old mature person since you're talking about this now.
You're just not ready for sex consequences. Enjoy this stage of your life, and feel love as much as you want, but just wait please for the sex part, it's coming anyway, and you'll enjoy it till you get more than enough of it, but don't do it now, then remember these days in the future, and REGRET "like realllly regret" not keeping it more, for someone who you both have "more mature" feelings for each other, and who can be responsible for all the sequences resulting from sex. I'm telling you this as an older friend not as an advisor, and I hope it reaches you.
2007-03-18 12:53:36 · answer #4 · answered by RareBird 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, if you have sex with him it will be the wrong choice. You are only 13, your body is not ready for sex, your mind is not ready for the emotional consequences of sex. It is not a matter of being a virgin or not, it is a matter of maturity, i am 29 and I am still trying to figure out all the emotional baggage that comes with sex. Please allow yourself to grow up, both physically and mentally. I'm not saying that you need to wait until marriage, that is your decision, but at least wait a few more years.
If your boyfriend really cares about you, he would be the first one to tell you to wait.
Good Luck
2007-03-18 12:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by wisv2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to. You are too young to be having sex. You don't want to have a baby at your age or std. Tell him if he really loves you than he will wait until you are older and ready for that. If he doesn't understand and leaves you than he never loved you anyway, and the last thing you want to do is have sex with him and he not love you and leaves you anyway.
2007-03-18 12:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by tabbycat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course! Save it for your future husband. You are juz 13. There is still a long way ahead of you. If you do it now, you will definitely regret it later. Not only the consequence to bear, but your choice too.
2007-03-18 13:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only your virginity, but YOU and your desires are more important than ANY boyfriend. Anyone who asks you to do something you are not ready for (and sex can give you diseases and babies and take away your self-esteem), is selfish with a capital S. He is only thinking of himself. Follow your own good judgment and just say "no." If you lose him, he was not worth it because he's asking you to do something for HIS benefit....not yours.
2007-03-18 12:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am fifteen and i really hope you listen to me. if you have to have sex with this boi for him to keep you around then it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not worth it. your virginity is something you will want to share with your true love but if you use it up on someone else then you will ruin that for yourself. sex NEVER gets you the respect you want. ppl will call you names as soon as he tells just one friend (if he only tells one) then that friend tells a freind and so on. soon a lot of ppl know and they are all calling you a whore and all sorts of awful things. you might even feel dirty after all is said and done. please dont do it. i am serious. Virginity is very special. i am going to wait for marriage personnaly. but yea.lol
2007-03-18 13:02:28 · answer #9 · answered by summer girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, you are so much more important than a boyfriend who oviously doesn't respect you.... omg.... look, i may be wrong but your relationship isn't going to be forever.... you need to start thinking about the future...... and pregnancy isn't a good start..... thats all im going so say... but i hope you do make the right choice
2007-03-18 12:54:12 · answer #10 · answered by :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋