I´ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, we had problems before, we tried to live together and it didn´t work out, there was just too much stress, because he lives in another country and it was difficult for me to cope with that, we even broke up after that and got back together.Recently, I found out I am pregnant...he still lives in europe (he´s dutch) and told me that living together is no longer an option, because he does not believe we ´re able to make it work. He suggested I should get an abortion but if I decided to go through with the pregnancy he would keep an emotional distance and that I shouldn´t expect him to come over and participate in the upbringing of this child, only financially. I told him I don´t want to get an abortion, that I love him and am positive that we can make this work if we would live together. We both already have a children (1 each) from our previous marriages. I don´t think I can live with the decision to give up this baby.
2007-03-18 04:37:50 · 22 answers · asked by Denise MK 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm not going to tell you what to do about the baby. It's your body and you have to do what's right morally for you. However, you need to realize that your boyfriend is over you and from what you write, he's moved on. Quit thinking that he's going to come back into your life. He doesn't want to make it work. For your own good, achieve closure and move on.
2007-03-18 04:47:23 · answer #1 · answered by Spyderbear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is a really personal choice and only one that you can make.
If you want to keep this baby, you should go into it with open eyes understanding that you can't guarantee that you ex-boyfriend will change the way he feels.
You need to decide if you could cope if he doesn't change the way he feels and if you could take the responsibility of raising a child on your own.
If this is not an option for you, then you have two choices, abortion or adoption.
You sound like you don't want to really have an abortion and I would imagine that if you went through with having this baby, it would be very hard to give it up for adoption.
So the question is, could you be a single Mum. You say you already have a child from a previous marriage which already makes you a single Mum.
If you've done it once, you'll manage again and life will go on.
No matter what happens, when you have a beautiful baby at the end of all this, anything that you have to go through is worth going through.
2007-03-18 11:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your question already. You could not live with yourself if you aborted the child. So even though you are not together at the moment.. like you say maybe something can work out later. He has said that he would help you financially so take him up on that. Maybe after you have the baby he will have a change of heart when he sees the child and you 2 can try again to live together. But you know that you will love this child no matter what and that is all that matters... right? I wish you all the luck in your decisions.
2007-03-18 12:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by luvthbaby2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Here is the thing, My now Husband and I got Pregnant with my 4 yr old, We had split before I found out. I decided to keep him even if we didn't work it out! I believe you should keep your baby and get Child Support. Leave the jerk out if your life and move on. Sometimes your lucky to find someone who will stick around sometimes your not, But don't take it out on the baby. If you decide you can't care for him/her give it up for adoption, Give a family the gift of a baby. There are so many people that can't have a baby and would do anything. So if you don't want it, Give another person a chance to be a parent.
2007-03-18 11:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by icerose2300 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep a few things in mind- abortion is not birth control. abortion is ending a life (is that murder?), as for "it's a woman's body" this is not getting a boob job, Norma McCorvey of Roe vs Wade is anti-abortion now.
The "it's my body" is lame. Attempts to classify the baby as a non-human is lame. All the "what-ifs" are lame. Abortion is not right and I can't believe a woman can ever get over it. We shoudl all use contraceptives before pregnancies. If we don't and screw up, we should be mature enough to live with the consequences and possibly put the child up for adoption in the worse-case. Learn from your mistakes, don't kill the kid.
2007-03-20 19:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by Dan P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting an abortion isnt the best thing you can do, but if its going to be hard to give it up for adoption. Then maybe you just go through with it. If living together didnt work out before then it wont now. Dont think that just because you have a baby with him, things are going to change. Cause it wont.
2007-03-18 11:49:04 · answer #6 · answered by UnitedStatesofAlbania 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You love you children unconditionally, not your boyfriend. Keep the baby, lose the guy. He's proven already by suggesting abortion that he's a loser, so even if you had one, he'd still be a loser.
I can't imagine killing that innocent little baby. He/she depends on you to make the right choice. When you hold that baby in your arms, I think you'll know you made the right choice! Why not work with a local pregnancy center or someone at your church to guide you on your decision?
2007-03-18 11:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion abortion is wrong, but I can't make your decision for you. I know it is hard to raise a child alone as I have done it for the last 18 years. It can be done though. You don't need a man to raise a child, especially one who doesn't seem to want one.
I'm sure there is a man somewhere out there who will love you unconditionally and accept your children as his own. Don't do something for a man who isn't going to love you and your child. It doesn't sound like he wants any responsibilities at this point.
2007-03-18 11:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by pipi08_2000 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must make your decision on what you are able to live with! From what you write, it doesn't sound like a reconciliation will happen. If you want this child for the right reasons, then stay the course with your being pregnant. Remember, as a mom, your love can create miracles. My best to you!
2007-03-18 13:35:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice to you is that do not give up that baby-babies are a gift from god-even if the baby's father does not have an interest in it-all i can say is that you are a woman and that you can be stronger than that-you do not need him in your life-that is exactly what happened to me-but i am loving this baby -he's already 1yr old is bunddle of joy-the decision is that women are stronger than that and that he will remember -and will ask for your forgiveness -that is what he is doing now.Be strong for yourself and for that unborn child
2007-03-18 13:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by kinky lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋