2007-03-18 04:00:27 · 8 answers · asked by lyde 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Here are 2:
1. Smart men!
2. bush is a genius
2007-03-18 04:06:59 · answer #1 · answered by STrawberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm ....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that .)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure . (What about that pig??)
2007-03-19 00:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by Stargate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All my jokes are the best. Depends on you're sense of humor.
Example: What did the fresh farm egg say to the hot boiling water?.........I can't get hard now I've just been laid..
I know funnier ones but can't tell them in this format. Shoot me an email and I'll send ya a couple. ;-)
2007-03-18 04:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you had asked this yesterday on March 17th I would have replied with this timely joke:
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
2007-03-18 04:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THE NYPD THE FBI AND THE CIA WERE TRYING TO PROVE THERE THE BEST AT GETTING CRIME. THE PRESIDENT RELEASES A RABBID RABBIT IN TO THE FOREST, THE CIA TAKES SAMPLES OF PLANTS AND MINERALS. THE FBI BURNS DOWN THE FOREST STATING IN A NEWS CONFRENCE THAT RABBITS DONT EXIST. THE NYPD COMES OUT WITH A BEAR SCREAMIN IM A RABBIT IM A RABBIT.
2007-03-18 04:22:58 · answer #5 · answered by Brittany J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man goes to the doctor and says to him, "I've eaten something that doesnt agree with me", The man's stomach says "no you havent"
O.K., this genie gives these two guys a wish each. And the conservative says, "I want a wall around the Red states so the liberals can't get in and we can go back to slavery and having sex with our own daughters." And then *poof* there was a wall around the red states and then the liberal said, "Hey, for my wish, can you fill in that wall with water?"
2007-03-18 04:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by duesy44 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why did the banana go to the docter?
cause it wasn't peeling well.
2007-03-18 04:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by cuttie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo mama so poor..
When I went to your house...
Stepped on yo mama's cigarette.
She said..
"WHO TURNED OFF OUR HEATER"?
2007-03-18 04:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋