My 8 year old daughter lies about everything. Even if it's not something bad. I have tried to explain to her that no one will believe anything she says and the boy that cried wolf but she still lies. HELP.. she is driving me crazy.
2007-03-18 03:16:05 · 13 answers · asked by charitydowling 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Could be a couple of reasons, she could be experimenting with story telling, she could be trying to make what she is saying more fantastic, she could be trying to make you happier with what she is saying, she could be trying to got get herself or someone else in trouble. She could be trying to get someone else in trouble.
I use to lie to my parents all the time. The question could be "what did you have for breakfast" I'd answer "Cheerio's with banana's, a pancake, fresh squeezed orange juice and and egg" when in fact I'd only had oatmeal. I use to think that what I had to say wasn't interesting. Or I'd day dream all the time and answer based on a day dream.
I don't believe she is afraid of you nor trying to be bad. She is likely just going through that phase. Keep telling her that reporting the way it really happened is best. Stories are for putting on paper. I'm sure she'll come around.
2007-03-18 09:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by Noota Oolah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son does the same thing from time to time. We talk about it, and his response is that "his 'stories' are so much more interesting than what actually happened..." In our case, we remind our son of the need to be truthful, and how Mom and Dad will find out the truth eventually, and tell him he will get in much less trouble if he is honest with us. Set up consequences that are clear and concise, and that your daughter understands. Explain to her if she lies, A, B & C will happen, then stick to your plan. Consistency is important to kids, and at this age, they are testing limits. Good luck!
2007-03-18 12:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by tech_girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you spanked her in her life? kids who are spanked lie because they are afraid of punishment. kids who haven't been spanked but are very sensitive to parental criticism will also lie. kids will lie out of sibling rivalry, to get a sib in trouble.
kids younger than she, and by just a bit, so she may still be there, lie because they still can't separate fantasy from reality. they believe it as soon as they say it.
if it's the latter, don't label her a liar. tell her you have trouble understanding what really happened. but, if you are a spanker or use other severe punishments like withdrawal of your affection, you will have to rebuild your relationship with her, beginning with apologizing for not understanding how destructive hitting one's child is, for having hurt and scared her, and for having create a situation that's left her with a very bad and harmful habit.
you can say - i am unhappy that you are not honest with me, because we must be able to trust each other. but i am much more worried and sad to think of how badly people will respond to you if you aren't honest. this is for you, sweetie, for your growth, so you can be the best person you can be. i want to help you, let's move forward from here.
ask her for suggestions. (Does she agree she lies?) brainstorm. (meaning, don't reject ideas at first, no matter how silly seeming.) should she write down her answers? should you ask her "really?" after an obvious lie, to help her correct herself. or, more face saving, if there's anything she'd like to change or add.
every single time she tells the truth in a difficult situation, praise her. 'i'm proud of you! i know that was a little tough. Thank you for being brave and being honest."
A really wonderful book is "How to Talk So Kids WIll Listen and Listen So Kids WIll Talk"
2007-03-18 10:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Has she realized the consequences of lyeing.If she lies what happens?Catch her in a lie,punish her.What happens when you lie?A fine? Jail time?The merits of the truth must also be reinforced.Call her on every one of them,on tape if you can,play them back at a bad time like when some other players in the lie are there.
2007-03-18 10:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Beeman11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is probably scared of what would happen if she told the truth or she might be trying to make herself seem more interesting. i used to have that problem. before i would lie, i would think "what's the worst that could happen if i told the truth? is it worse than what would happen if i lied?" and i would stop myself. she is pretty young so what self-control would probably be very hard for her, but try to teach her that. and don't get mad at her if she does something wrong or she will lie and try to get out of it. good luck, and this phase will eventually pass.
2007-03-18 12:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it back to her. Tell her you are going to do something fun and then tell her you lied about it. Then ask how she feels about that and explain that you feel the same way when she lies to you.
Or perhaps the loss of priveleges would work. Everytime she lies she loses out!
2007-03-18 10:52:11 · answer #6 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my 9 year old does the same thing to me.....she blames it on her brother or just lies right to my face about the littliest things.....its a stage......i feel they will grow out of it but i just monitor everything....well try to anyways......good luck
2007-03-18 10:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by lilmiss_1421 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All kids lie, parents lie...
No one is completely honest...
Ground her when she lies, that might help.
2007-03-18 14:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps she is afraid of the consequences for her actions if she tells the truth.
2007-03-18 10:19:43 · answer #9 · answered by littlearthquake3355 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She probably learnt how to lie from someone. Someone is having a bad influence on her.
2007-03-18 10:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋