I have a naughty Son?

Question

I have a 9 year old son he is a very very bad boy.He distroys everything in the house and hits his sister which are younger than him..
Please tell me what i should do thank you

Answer 1

call nanny 911

Answer 2

You need to sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how his behaviour is affecting the family, tell him how much you love him and how great you think he is but explain that you're not prepared to put up with his bad behaviour. Tell him what you expect from him and also listen to him. Does he have problems that need to be addressed?
Draw up a contract and both of you sign it. Things like no hitting. If he has a disagreement with his sister how is it going to be dealt with? You need to give him alternative options,like coming to you or if you're not available teach him to walk away and do his own thing for a while and then talk it over with you.
You will also have to come up with rewards and sanctions. Perhaps a sticker chart A sticker for each hour he's good and a reward when he's got enough stickers. A small reward for every 5 and a bigger reward for every 10-- possibly a favourite game with you or an outing. It doesn't have to cost money.
Sanctions need to be fair and he has to know what to expect. An early bedtime, missing a TV program,and not getting his sticker of course.
Children need our time and attention as more than anything. Behaviour can be changed but it won't happen over night.
Try to watch out for the things which trigger bad behaviour and show him other ways to deal with things. Let him know he has a choice about his reactions and decisions. Encourage him to make good choices. You MUST be CONSISTANT. It won't work if you let him off sometimes because you're too tired or busy to deal with him. Or if you forget to praise and encourage him.
If his Dad or any other adults are living in the house they should follow the same routines. He needs clear boundaries.
Try to have fun together with all the children and some special time with your son on his own. Find things you can all do. A trip to the swimming pool or playing in the park. It doesn't matter what as long as its fun.
Help him to understand that as the eldest he can be a help to you and give him the chance to earn some privilages. Being the eldest can mean being expected to look after and tolerate a lot from younger children so its only fair if there are some advantages too. Maybe an extra half hour doing something he chooses with you once the younger children are in bed.
It will need effort and time but I'm sure you want to sort things out now before he hits the teenage years. I hope you have support from the rest of the family or good friends to talk things over with. If you're on your own try to meet up with other parents. Everyone has worries at some point about their children and you can learn a lot from other people's experience.
Another idea is to talk to the school.How does he behave there? Can they suggest any other strategies?
Hope this is some help. I'm sure you'll sort it out .

Answer 3

Let me get this straight. Your the parent,correct? And you have a 9 yr old, that don't mind? And you don't know what to do?
Then why did you even bother to have children? Its up to you to discipline the child. Because ,the longer ,you don't take control, the harder, its going to be.
Ask yourself, when did you lose control of your son, and who fault was it?
And what would your parents do if you didn't mind?
Now the question i have is:
Why don't you punish the boy? Is he to big for you to handle or what?
Your the parent, it is your responsability to take charge. If you can't handle a 9yr old.
Then you have a problem. If you don't put your foot down, now, he will be a whole lot worse when he gets older.
You best take cotrol, how else do you expect him to learn? Its parents who helped pass the laws, on parents abusing their children.
And then they complain, their children don't mind. Well of cousre,they aren't going to mind,
Because some parents felt so bad about children being disciplined, that they had a law pass, that it was abusive, to discipline their children..
Because it was the parents, who made it hard for other parents, to discipline their children. And then they complain.
Well i suggest, that you get together ,with other parents, and have that law changed. If you don't ,then its going ot be harder, for your children to discipline their own children, your grandchildren.
And then you will probably, wonder, why they don't mind. Well because ,you didn't teach your children to mind.
So stop complaing about it. And do something, so other parents can take back control of raising their children again.. Don't ask for an honest opinion, if you don't want one.

Answer 4

Why is he destroying everything? Does he have built up anger or what? I would talk to him and ask him why does he do this, In my opinion he needs more discipline. I don't think a counselor could help him. All counselors do is talk and try to figure out ways to control a behavior, wont work good for a 9 year old. Have you thought about getting him tested for ADHD (something like that). That might help also. Good luck!

Answer 5

have you ever seen supernanny or nanny 911. If so this is what you need to try and follow. if not try:
Your child has always been an angel and then they arrive... the dreaded tween years. Suddenly you may have to deal with back chat, lying and attitude - not to mention strange new music and fashion... Follow these discipline tips for children aged 7-12.

* A calm approach works best. Don’t over-react or give it too much attention. Think about your example.
* When you have to insist on a rule, give reasons, but remain firm.
* Natural consequences can be useful. If he doesn’t do his homework, he will be in trouble at school.
* Humour can work well for this age group. If children are whining, you can do it in a silly voice. “I don’t want to go to work either – let’s stay and play all day!”
* Use Rewards. Hugs and praise, a special outing, a DVD rental or a favourite meal are all good ways of showing your appreciation of good behaviour.
* Put sanctions in place. You could take away treasured possessions for a time, or suspend privileges and pocket money.
* Changing discipline for the middle years – strategies for future success

Positive discipline is really essential

Give your child the most attention to good behaviour you want to encourage, and ignore minor misbehaviour as much as possible. It's also a good idea to avoid harsh punishments, and only use sanctions (such as 'grounding') for serious misbehaviour.
Top ten tips for tween discipline

1. Understand your child will want to test out his independence. Answering back or disobeying can often be a way of demonstrating this, and showing he has a mind of his own. Encourage as much independence as possible, even if it involves some risks – children need to learn by their own mistakes.
2. Work at reflective listening - feeding back what’s you’ve been told and not leaping in with your own judgments.
3. Use specific praise, describing exactly what it is being given for.
4. Consistent rules are still needed, but keep reviewing rules and changing them as your child grows.
5. Don’t give too many orders – these can overwhelm children. Explain why some things have to be, but listen to their views. If you have to overrule, explain that until they are more mature, there are some decisions you must make for them.
6. Stay calm and avoid arguments as much as possible.
7. Keep criticisms to a minimum - and only criticise a behaviour, not your child.
8. Good communication at any age is an essential parenting skill. Children need you to understand how they are feeling, and to listen to their views – this helps build self-esteem.
9. Try to avoid sarcasm, blaming and put-downs.
10. Remember, children this age still learn most by example – they are bound to imitate what they see parents do. The best way to have children do what you want is to demonstrate it, not order them to do it!

good luck and purserver

Answer 6

maybe u shud pay him sum attention and make it positive. maybe because he does this u tell him off and pay his sisters more attention, he mite feel jealousy. he is def angry, u shud speak to him about this, make him understand that u just want to know wot he is thinking and that ur not going to tell him off. or maybe it mite be wot u feed him, does he eat too many sweets and crisps, drink too much fizzy pop? i have 4 kids and if they get these type of foods they get hyper and annoying, so i try to cut out these foods and bring in healthy foods such as fruit. my son is eight and has a lot of anger in him he is very negative on himself even tho i try to be positive with him but he doesnt go round doing wot ur son does he just cries, u cud try wot i did and give him a book or diary and explain that its his feelings diary he can write down all his feelings and make sure u dont peep. let him have some privacy, u may see a change in him even if it is small, it wud be his way or expressing how he feels, to take the pressure of him. u can also start to praise him wen he does something good and ignore him wen he does something bad he will soon learn he doesnt get n e attention if he does bad things. i know its hard im a mother my self but try it it works 4 me my kids i think arnt to bad they do have their moments tho, but hey who doesnt.

Answer 7

Maybe you should focus your attention to him.

Because when i'm at my sister's house i'm pretty much always with the kids she has a 4year old boy and a 3week old boy and when i'm always holding the little one and playing with him the other one always throws stuff acts real naughty sometimes even tries to snatch him out of my hands. what i usually do when he does this is take his toys away for a while until he says sorry.

Answer 8

Why are you allowing one child to discipline another? Only parents have the right to discipline and he's breaking things?

He's lacking structure (love/discipline) or hanging with peers that are mouthing about you to him...either way his behavior is the bottom line and it's not acceptable. Wouldn't fly here.

Answer 9

supply him greater interest. that's what he's wanting. feels like he's clever. take a seat with him and study a e book, play a interest. If that would not artwork than there is something else incorrect. He desires to be stored busy.

Answer 10

Perfect example of what needs to be stopped with parents today.

They are afraid to discipline their children.

He destroy's something in the house. Smack his ***

He hits his sisters... hit him.

Simple, don't be afraid to break out tough love. It might save him from becoming a criminal one day.

Answer 11

There has to be negative consequences for any negative actions. You don't say how he acts in school. If he can follow the rules at school, he can follow the rules at home. Hitting his sister? Can't think of a more appropriate time for you to spank him.