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I have five children, four grown up, three with kids of their own. for the second year in a row, there has been no acknowledgement in any way of that fact by three of the four eldest. my youngest is 14, still lives at home, gave me a card and made me tea and toast this morning; but I know this would not have happened if my partner hadn't organised it. My eldest daughter is 30 with a child of her own; my eldest son, age 26, there is an excuse for, he has just had a baby of his own, and is very caught up in that. I will probably get a call from my other daughter later today; my other son of 24 is living less than six miles away, and I have not heard from him. My partner has gone out with the dog; the youngest is in his mates' house on the Playstation. It feels horrible. Am I being unreal in my expectations; did I rear them badly-or am I the only one feeling like this?

2007-03-18 01:40:24 · 17 answers · asked by marie m 5 in Family & Relationships Family

17 answers

We can give them life but we can't live their lives.

I've just come back from shopping- I was in the queue behind a young man who was obviously broke. He bought 2 bunches of flowers & a box of chocs (& nothing for himself) & I thought "ahh, how sweet & kind. He must be a really caring person..."

Then a pang cos I know my daughter, age 34, is DELIBERATELY ignoring me to hurt me (long story)...

so I guess in a way, you ARE fortunate! You have got well adjusted kids busily & happily pursuing full, active lives... & that must mean you have done a HUGE amount that was perfectly alright!
When they are a bit older, they will certainly appreciate all you have done, whether they openly acknowledge that or not.

HAVE A GREAT DAY! Be happy!

2007-03-18 04:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You're not alone - my son forgot hes 16!!! My daughter made me a card and brought me one shes 11. My other two children aged two and three brought me a card (well daddy did)!! I had a huge box of chocs some flowers and red roses!!

I am on my own kids are out partner at work the youngest two have a terrible viral infection so I am up to my eyes in sick and yes ****!! What a great day I'm having but then it is Mother's Day!!!

2007-03-18 10:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0 0

Hi, if any compensation I am alone too. My mate just called and is out with her daughters and mother. But I feel its a contrived day and your love and respect is there daily for people close and do not need to be reminded to let people know you care. I have no partner, youngest at grand dads. He made me a card and eldest is out and has not even recognised the day. But they are all happy and thats all i would want from them.

2007-03-18 08:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by sunshinesmainlyonme 1 · 0 1

I feel so sorry for all you mums that are having a horrible day today. I lost my mum to cancer 11 years ago and am missing her today especially, I would love nothing more than to go to lunch with my mum and be able to spoil her. I have a son of my own who is 5 and got me a card and some tulips today and also one on the way, but it still makes me sad to think that she isn't here to spend the day with me or my child, who would love to have a grandma to hug and love.

Your children are lucky and dont even realise it, but I guess you dont know what you have till you lose it. x

Happy Mothers day to all x x

2007-03-18 10:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I fully understand how you feel & sympathize. Don't blame yourself. I know it's no comfort to know that you are not the only one, it's just that youngsters today are not as mindful of such things like the older generation. It's very possible too that deep in their hearts you are there; they are just so caught up with their own live &coping with family demands that the person who is always there ironically gets overlooked.
They will learn with age & pass of time, when their own children sometimes make them feel the way you do now. Don't expect anything. One day you might receive loving words or caring gesture when you least expected them.

2007-03-18 08:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by MoiMoii 5 · 0 1

Just like to cheer you up by saying HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, you have a right to feel the way you do, your kids could be more compasionate, after all the things you have done for them, You should phone them up and tell them you were at the very least expecting a phone call, surely that is not too much bother for them.

2007-03-18 10:27:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

How well you get along with them the other 364 days of the year is more important. As far as your expectations, don't expect anymore than the last 10 years. My wife and I do not celebrate any holiday except Christmas. We are never disappointed. I kiss my mother and tell her I love her every time I see her and end every phone call with "I love you". I don't need a day marked on the calender to appreciate my mother. All of our "special days" have been created by mass merchandisers or religion.

2007-03-18 09:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 1 1

It's mother's day where you are? Well happy mothers day!!

It's not your fault. My kids are all still at home and old enough to do stuff and they do nothing. They wouldn't think of me either but hey...whatever. They usually don't unless I ask them to. :(

Cheer up. You obviously did a good job raising them. That's just the way kids are. Some of closer than others. Chin up and push on mom. It's like that for many others across the world and we wonder the same things....where did I go wrong. Have a good day. Don't let them bug you. It's still your day. :)

2007-03-18 08:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Hey don't feel so bad i would say you did your best its just people are so selfish now days and have very short memories even your own kids but one day they may have a lot of trouble sleeping at night remember what the good book says "Honor your father and mother" very few seem to do that these days.

2007-03-18 08:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by the Master 1 · 0 1

What on earth is the first poster on about? maybe it's a different day in different countries? Anyway, no, I think you aren't being unrealistic, my mother died when I was a baby, and on mothers day me and my brothers would gang up and come up with a super plan of what to do for my dad, it often was something stupid like an enormous drawing or a song we would all sing, we once did a short sketch called 'super dad', when we got older and got jobs we would still club together and get him something. I am thinking for fathers day to get us all together to redo 'superdad', he seemed to like the stuff we did like that better than the shop bought stuff. Anyway, I would mention it to your husband, maybe he will have a quiet word with them for next year.

2007-03-18 08:50:55 · answer #10 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 1 1

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