I get a lot of compliments from people, men and women that I am really pretty and have a lovely complexion. Why then when I look in the mirror don't I see it? I look at myself and think I look nasty. One girl who is quite a bit younger than me said I was really nice and she wished she had my face! Surely all these people can't be wrong? Do people say this stuff if they don't mean it? Why don't I see what they do?
2007-03-18 01:15:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Skin & Body ➔ Other - Skin & Body
No. They're all paying you rather nice compliments, so I should enjoy it as much as you can.
Rather unconnected with YOU but closer to the subject - and just for a bit of fun, even though it IS true and I'm a red-blooded male, when I was younger I remember telling some work colleagues that I'd recently been to the doctor's and he'd told me that I had lovely skin, and that a week later the dentist had told me that I had lovely teeth, some joker came up with "I hope you never get a pimple on your bum...!" - so there's always a smile at the end of everything ! ! !
2007-03-18 01:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dover Soles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hunny. I can really emphasize with your situation, as I often have people tell me i'm good looking, but when I look in the mirror, I often feel soooo Ugly that I feel life isn't worth living.
The fact of the matter is. There may be many reasons you feel this way. Perhaps you know it deep down, but are just here to fish for compliments (though I will give you the benefit of the doubt).
One thing that someone told me and has always brought me to my senses, is this; Think about how many times you have ever looked at your own reflection. Thousands, right? Now think about how many times you have looked at your reflection, and I mean REALLY looked, scrutinising every flaw and blemish, every part that isn't perfect. Maybe spending ages doing your makeup or just staring and looking for flaws. Again, loads of times, right?
Well now. Think about, firstly, when people see you in the street, in a mall, in a restaurant, etc, how long do they spend looking at your face? and even then, do they stare at it for ages? probably not. THEY therefore simply do not have the time to see every flaw that seems so noticeable to YOU. Infact, they probably DONT even notice in the first place!
Even the people closest to you, like friends and family will never have had the time, or even been bothered, to REALLY look at you and check how imperfect/perfect you are.
What they see, is the whole thing, your face, body, hair, eyes, the complete package. And to them, you probably do look very pretty. However. When you look in the mirror, all the parts you are paranoid about just stand out above the rest, making you feel like you are unnatractive, when infact, as a whole package, you are really pretty.
have you ever heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder? (BDD). I have been diagnosed with it. It is basically very similar to anorexia, in that when you see yourself, you do not see what is truly there, you DYSMORPH you appearance, small flaws seem like HUGE ones that are so noticeable, when they usually don't exist, or are totally unnoticeable.
This is a terrible condition that deserves far more recognition than it has been given. terrifyingly, around 30% of BDD sufferers kill themselves before the age of 40, as their appearance makes them feel like a social outcast and a complete freak.
These are only the extreme cases though, and as you haven't said your appearance makes you depressed or anything, maybe you are just going through a paranoid phase, and will eventually realise that you ARE beautiful, and also that there is far more to life than your appearance. If you are too vain and paranoid, it will show, and people will begin to dislike you for your personality.
After all, who do you think is more liked; an unnatractive woman with a happy, cheerful, friendly personality/ an attractive woman with no confidence, a miserable personality and no fun. Hmmm?
Anyway hun. Please just be greatful that people tell you your pretty. there are many young girls out there who only ever hear people call them ugly, and they are the ones we should really be trying to help.
I would suggest you do some research on BDD, because if you do have it, and don't get help, then you may become more and more obsessed with your looks, and more miserable and end up an alcoholic or a recluse or a suicide victim.
Hope this has helped you! XXX
2007-03-21 04:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you will like this answer - but you asked the question!
I think that you are looking for further compliments here - and you do have some - but no-one can see what you look like, so it is all a bit beside the point, isn't it?
Hell - just look at the user name you gave yourself!
Being pretty isn't the be all and end all in this life! Does it really matter to you what you look like? Surely it is better to have a heart of gold rather than a face like porcelain!
2007-03-18 01:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people can be sarcastic when they say things like that, but take it for the compliment that it is until you know you can't. You can't see it because you're on the inside looking out--they're on the outside looking at it. I was like that when I was younger. People thought I had pretty skin and, until I looked at some of my older pictures years later, I couldn't see it. Now I do.
2007-03-18 01:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When people look at you they see you as you are however when you look in the mirror you are infact seeing two images one is your own reflection and the other is what you want to look like
2007-03-18 01:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by nurgle69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About 50/50 on whether people mean or not.
We are our own worse critics. It is to easy to see your own flaws and miss the good stuff.
2007-03-18 01:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that happens to me too sometimes...
but i finally realized what i see isnt what THEY see!
maybe you want to change something when you look in the mirror...
BEAUTY IS WITHIN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
anyways, at least everybody else thinks you're pretty!
think it through...
2007-03-18 03:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by katrina! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every body's beautiful in their own way girl-friend. I f lots of people say it then I doubt their all being false! Use what you got and be confident with who you are!
2007-03-18 06:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by leedsunited_1919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously has issues with yourself if you dont see how pretty you are. If all these other people are telling you that you are, why would they lie??
You need to figure out why you feel this way about yourself!
Talk to your friends are parents
xx
2007-03-18 01:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by kirsty m 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u might be like someone with anorexia when they look in the mirror they think their fat but really their not mabe u dont think your pretty but really u r.
2007-03-18 06:15:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋