My boyfriend has been going through a hard time. He has been applying for new jobs and attending interviews in his free time. He works full-time so he spends his free time preparing for the interviews. But the problem is he gets negative reply each time. He is still waiting for some answers but yesterday he told me he is fed up of loosing. The thing is I have become very needy of him and I started to worry he does not care about me anymore as he has become distant with me. He has tried to explain to me many times that he needs to focus but I did not handle it very well. He told me last week that he is not sure about me anymore due to these problems and he has become less enthusiastic about our relationship. I really worry about loosing him. How can I make things better? I have been trying to give him space but I worry he has made his mind up that I am not the girl he wants as he thinks I will not support him when he needs to be.
2007-03-17 23:52:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You've got to be understanding of your boyfriend's troubles and encourage him, that a single failure doesn't necessarily means that he is forever a failure. Don't be overdependent on your boyfriend, he needs his space and keep encouraging him, but don't overstress him to get a job quick. Have a heart to heart conversation with him that you love him and that nothing can change that.
2007-03-17 23:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Soaring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay.ill answer this point by point.
1."My boyfriend has been going through a hard time.He has been applying for new jobs and attending interviews in his free time. He works full-time so he spends his free time preparing for the interviews."
Answer:You should be helping him find a job for this problem.Try to be as understanding as u can.
2."He told me last week that he is not sure about me anymore due to these problems and he has become less enthusiastic about our relationship. I really worry about losing him."
Answer: He is probably saying that beacause of stress.You should try not to pressurize him about finding a job or he might really desert you.
2007-03-18 00:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by crystal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel (the 'needy' part, not the actual situation). The best thing to do is what you've already suggested... give him space and time and when he finds a job he'll be able to focus on your relationship again. Guys can sometimes get ultra-focussed on one aspect of their lives and it's just unfortunate that it includes another human (you!) in this situation. I know from experience that the needier you get, the further he'll withdraw from you. Good luck. It's a yucky situation to be in, but hopefully it will sort itself out soon. In the meantime, hang out with your friends and family more, and do things that YOU enjoy. All the best!
2007-03-17 23:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Needy" is not "good" and scares men away. If you can't understand what he is going through now, how will you later as a wife he'd want to spend his life with? If he is serious about life, his decision if the wise one. You better get serious about knowing your "place" in another person's life if you ever want to be there. You don't sound ready right now. I think he sees your immaturity and might give up on you as a future prospect for what he thinks the mother of his children should be. Do your thing, show him the respect he deserves as the man you claim to love and learn what truly loving another really means. Remember that it is essential to love yourself in order to properly love another. When you learn that, you won't be so "needy" and you will attract the right man, maybe even him.
2007-03-18 00:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by Teri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to be more supportive and understanding of him. Its hard looking for a job. Its almost a full time job in itself. Give him the space he needs, he's under a lot of stress right now and probably says things he doesn't mean
2007-03-18 00:04:06 · answer #5 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me summ up the points for you:
1-You need to sit and discuss whether he wants you to be with him or not frankly.
- If the answer is yes then You need to help him find new jobs by understanding what he thinks.
- If the answer is no then it is better for both of you to move on in seperate paths, because if you need him more then you will suffer and end up with a broken heart or traumatized, no one deserves that.
2 - If he is uncertain then give it a little time and be supportive then you will be able to decide yourself... Now if he continues to be uncertain then the answer is to break in your seperate paths.
I wish you all the goodness in this world.
2007-03-18 00:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by Cheers For All 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your a stripper now. And Its to bad he left you cause you make grip of money now! And you would help him out, if you could just find the time . Tell him to take a #! Keep your head up!
2007-03-21 11:03:19 · answer #7 · answered by jakie227 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋