Got a dagger in my hand
As I pour through my horror page of thoughts
I can't sleep
Through the darkest hours
Why can't you accept
That my love is here with you?
Why can't you feel
The same way?
The same way
But now its gone away
Its not over
I won't be the one
To say surrender
Serenity.
Piece of mind.
They say that love
Is something you can keep
Forvever
Well forever
Feels like an emptied casket
With your guilt
My love for you
Is torned inside
With your searing rejections
These walls,
cave in.
Your guilt
Is my consequence
2007-03-17 21:47:00 · 12 answers · asked by ibid 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
It sounds stupid just like the whole concept of this emo crap.
2007-03-17 21:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by JOhNe=mc² 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow...i will depict what form of emotion and concepts have been located in this poem. thoughts of being ignored?...harm by ability of somebody or some thing? perchance making someone's perfection checklist? ...I see a feeling of being empty because of the shortcoming of those issues..And teh ending 'To hands fly. One loose Fall.' One fall might end all of it. an eternal dying. This poem, like your different one is quite touching. It provides the viewer a feeling of be apologetic approximately--such as you will possibly prefer to realize out and help. very superb touch. This one gets a 10 in my view.
2016-10-01 02:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put more stuff about death in it!
:P LOL...
e.g.: Thou is the dagger, and what a beautiful dagger you are, the sharp tip straight into the heart; It brings eternal pain, So let it bring death, because I don't care, at least you're the murderer. Beauty killed the beast, so did the dagger kill the man. I shall rest in peace.
Doesn't rhyme, but it's just fun to make up something like this.
Sorry if it doesn't help.
Keep it up though! Haha...
2007-03-17 22:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by angela_angie2nd 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Needs more darkness. You didn't use the word black. Neither did you use the word night. You used darkest and that is good but it really is more elmo than emo.
2007-03-17 22:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by jack jagger 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Out of ten, I'd give it a six. But I'm not too into Emo, so, I wouldnt know. Its good though. But its Emo....
2007-03-17 21:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
9
Excellent! Just add some blood metaphors and it'll be a 10.
2007-03-17 21:50:18 · answer #6 · answered by Bloblobloblob 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how about amazing emoness? I say 9.39827349
that's right...i said it.
2007-03-19 17:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by lennalenna03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice! i'm into emo myself! if i give you a rating out of ten it'll be.............(drum roll please!)..9.5! if you make it a little longer then it'll be perfect 'cause the thought is very appealling!
good work! (.^___^.)
2007-03-18 00:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Muchan_6 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
100 out of 10 :)
it's good. my opinion.
2007-03-17 23:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please... Use some more original words and phrases.
I've heard identicle stuff a million times over
2007-03-17 21:56:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋