Ok its one in the morning , my hubbys not home yet, I dont know where he is,he wont awnser his phone, I am so worried if he is ok that when he comes home I will be so relived I wont say any thing, I need to open my eyes, how can i do this?
2007-03-17 21:05:58 · 25 answers · asked by paula_5150 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you want to open your eyes first you need to take the blindness out of your eyes. The blindness of love, look past it. Okay you know you love him, now look past that and this is how. Time to notice things. When he gets home, ask him questions where has he been, if he was doing wrong he will have a lie planned out on the way home. he will have thought it through and will make sure it sounds right. maybe his phone died, and he was with the boys. if you really want to know, look in his car, look for hair on the seat, maybe there is something in the car, he is not going to expect that. i am telling you this cause you probably have not done this yet. everyone always want to take that out their minds and think their spouse is perfect and the best. notice his behavior, does he care what you say, or if you are mad or not. get the illusion out your mind that your hubby is perfect and put it in your mind that maybe, i mean we have all been hurt, and before we got hurt, we didnt say maybe she is doing something, you gotta protect your heart, and frame of mind sweetheart. hopefully that helps.
2007-03-17 21:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by The LuvDoctor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first, I don't think you should just assume he's doing something he shouldn't be doing. He may be at a bar with a bunch of his friends.
Personally, I don't think a married man needs to be at a bar at 1:00 am regardless of who he's with but if this is just a time to time thing and you're certain he's with his friends, I wouldn't make too big of a fuss.
He may have a lot of stress in his life and needs a way to blow off steam. Sex is a wonderful stress reliever but sometimes even that's not enough.
If you're that worried, you do need to speak to him about it, preferably the next morning when he's completely sober and maybe had a cup of coffee in him so he's completely awake.
Tell him you him that you love him and trust him, but that you worry about him when he's out late and you don't know where he is and that you'd appreciate it if he'd call you where he is and about what time he'll be home. Tell him you're SERIOUS about this, that it really bothers and worries you.
Maybe next time you could go with him? If he is cheating on you (and we don't know this) you'll find out eventually. However, in a marriage where you truly love each other, there has to be a degree of trust.
Anyway, I think you need to have a discussion with him about this in a CALM manner. Under no circumstances should you scream or yell at him about this or start crying. You'll never get this resolved until you talk with him about it.
Good luck!
2007-03-18 06:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is not answering the phone because it is loud. I know that when I am at the bar I do not usually hear my phone ringing.
If it is something as innocent as him hanging out with some male friends at a bar, drinking it up, playing pool, etc. you should really calm down.
Wait until 10 minutes after the bars close before you make any rash decisions. Remember, assumption is just as much a killer as blind-eye-syndrome.
When he gets home, sit him down and talk to him. Stare into his eyes, and ask him what went on, but keep your cool. Do not make it fight from the beginning. If it turns out to be the worst, then you should consider ending things.
2007-03-18 04:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by Susan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a very hard thing to do to admit your man is cheating on you. That's why they say the wife is always the last to know, cause we don't want to know. You have a gut feeling about it, I know you do. If you feel it in your gut that he is cheating, then its true. Is the first time he has come home late? Cause if it is, he might have a good excuse, but if it happens all the time. then he is a dog. What excuse does he give for coming home late. Are the other signs of cheating present? Has he bought new clothes or underwear? Does he shower before leaving the house and again when he comes home? Is he not very interested in having sex with you? Does he get strange calls at home and have you checked his cell phone for incoming calls, text messages, etc? Can you check his email for messages from strange women? If he is cheating, I feel your pain and I can only tell you that it will get better with time and you have to get out now before he ruins your life for good. Good Luck, and remember All Men Are Bastards !
2007-03-18 04:16:13 · answer #4 · answered by nesmith52 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this something he does habitually? I think that is the important thing you need to tell us.
Stay calm during your interrogation of him and focus on what he's saying and not the next thing you're going to say so you can see if there are any discrepancies in his story.
If you can't get the truth for sure, I'd be sure to use a condom with him until you figure out if he is cheating. If he's not, that condom will be punishment enough for him to start getting himself home on time, but MOST importantly it'll protect you against any diseases.
Don't worry about him. Either he is or isn't okay. Worrying will only harm you and not help the matter. Focus on taking care of yourself.
2007-03-18 04:15:25 · answer #5 · answered by mycountryfamily 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just want to say im sorry i know how you feel my ex did it to me he came in and acted like everything was fine well he went straight to the shower i picked up his clothes and wouldnt you know it i smelled perfume and it wasnt mine his story he ran into an old friend and his wife and he said he guesses when she hugged him it stuck yea he was out of the house the next morning but dont jump to conclusions only YOU know your husband so you know if he is lying or not but him not coming home and not calling is not right and if he is messing around on you hun you deserve so much better i know people are quick to tell you on here to just leave him but noone knows you and him so when he comes home ask him what you want to know and get his story and if your not sure if hes lying ask him a few days later and if he tells you he was out with friends ask him what friends and where then you go straight to the source and ask them and if they are married comfirm it with their wifes i wish you the best
2007-03-18 04:23:38 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you need to talk to him first thing the next morning after you get up from sleeping. See what he says and then decide if you want to be with him any longer or try at least to follow him one evening and see what he might be up too
2007-03-18 04:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by tootie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to talk with you.
There's no reason why a wife can't ask her husband about something unusual and I would think that being out past 1 would qualify.
His ability or inability to talk about the reasons and the length of your marrige should tell you if you should throw him out!
2007-03-18 04:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it all depends on where he was. If he was out with the guys or can't really tell you I would be pretty upset. He should atleast have the courteousy to call and let you know he is alright.
2007-03-18 04:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of allyou need to talk to him be up frount tell him he is being a pric and you arnt taking his crap give him the olternateve there is nothing to loss you either do it nowfor yourself and prid or let him continue it will only get worse as in if you dont tell a child he or she is not alowed to watch tv enymore its time for bed they will carry on pick your head up and swallow and tell him to stop what he is doing like ship up or ship out after all there is plenty more fish in the sea
2007-03-18 04:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋