what would you say or do? hubby and i made plans to be intimate tonight after dinner and he fell asleep on the sofa. i got him up and was "prepped" for our intimate times and he seemed ticked off and said lemmie alone i am tired and i said it is our nite to make love and he got all upset and i got embarrassed and got dressed in my pajamas (non sexy) and i was hurt by it and i reminded him and he said u remind me again u psycho ***** then i will make it 1 week for u with out sex. i said that is not fair u punish me like this and he said i want u to go find another place to live this weekend. get the f*ck out i dont want u no more u f*ckin pshyco ***** and no i do not want sex from u u f*ckin b!itch . stop begging me cuz u are not going to get sex from me ever! what would u do??
2007-03-17 20:34:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
been married for 4 yrs and we have a 18 mo old together and i am 38 and he is 45 and i know he likes to have other women but i am his wife and i am not ugly or fat or nothing like that . help! should i just back off and wait for him to come on to me? or should i keep pursuing him and hope he says yes to sex sometime this week??
2007-03-17 20:38:00 · update #1
this is a legi post and my baby (ours0 is a boy and i am sick of me begging and pleading for love and i am also sick of his constant comparing me to other women and refusing sex to me and choosing others to do it with . i am not ugly as a matter of fact there are others who look at me and my husband just snickers and laughs and wants to "give me away" to others like ia m not worthy..it is embarrassing and makes me feel ugly and like a reject.
2007-03-17 21:13:30 · update #2
he keeps pressuring me to find my own place me and our son and i have been a housewife for 4 yrs! well actually 3 but married 4
2007-03-17 21:17:04 · update #3
If you dont' know what "verbal abuse" is, I suggest you google it. You may not be getting sexed, but you're definitely getting verbally abused.
Having sex with that man is the least of your worries. I certainly hope he doesn't speak to you that way around your child.
I would consider getting into counseling. I think the great sex thing will come after you guys find and fix what HIS problem is.
If this is a legitimate post, I recommend you get yourself and your child out and stay out. He sounds very unstable and controlling. If he refuses counseling, seek divorce, because he's putting you out on the street and said he doesn't want you. He's made it very clear unfortunately.
Edit: Sorry Pinky, for questioning. He's trying to beat you down and make you feel worthless and to run you off. He KNOWS you're desireable by others and wants to convince you otherwise. If he keeps you beaten down enough, it makes him feel better about himself. It doesn't matter if you're ugly, cute, or absolutely gorgeous, you DON'T deserve it. If he's having sex with others, then he may bring you home AIDS and you've got a son to care for. The fact that he's slept with someone else is grounds for divorce. If you choose not to divorce, that's fine too, but at least separate until you can work through this with the guidance of a counselor. I know you don't want your son to repeat what his dad is doing to someone else. I hate anyone is having to go through something like that. You keep yourself clean because you never know if there's a custodial battle in your future. Leave him alone and don't ask him for sex. Put your focus on your son, yourself, and prayer.
PLEASE PLEASE ask around or do a search for groups out there who will help you to get settled on your own as a single mom. I know it's going to be an adjustment. I definitely support government help when a woman is in your situation.
NOT TO MENTION, eat his behind alive for child support :)
2007-03-17 21:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by mycountryfamily 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are going thru this. However, it sounds like you best go find a place to live, with your son. And, asap, get a parenting plan, or something indicating yo have legal physical custody of your son. Why? He has, as you said, been with other women. It's best for you and yor son for you to end it with him for your son's benefit. And yours. You don't want to take a chance on getting any std's, or HIV or AIIDS, do you? I didn't think so. Your son needs you and your unconditional love. The right guy, who will love you as you are, for who you are, and will love your son as a good male figure, will come along for you. I wish you and your son the best. Take care.
2007-03-17 22:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what, I didn't even have to finish reading this post to tell you to tell him to f%#k off and leave. Don't let someone disrespect you like that, especially your husband. If you are being verbally abused then your daughter is going to end up having the same thing done to her because a father instills the worth of his daughter. So she will go find someone like dear old dad to mistreat her this way. She will find it acceptable because her parent's relationship is like that.
F him.
2007-03-17 20:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Back off and let him alone and let him initiate sex. He may feel like his masculinity is being usurped by you being the aggressor. He may also have a problem with erectile dysfunction. He can probably go to a doctor and get medication to take care of this. Let him work out his problems and don't try to push him.
2007-03-17 20:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to wait until he's fully awake and ask him what the hell was he talking about. Find out if he really wants a marriage, or if he's just going to continue taking care of business outside of the marriage. There's too many ways to give your life up (diseases, HIV), than beg for sex. Be careful!
2007-03-17 20:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave for good. I know you will not do that, but you know he has other women, and I just wouldn't put up with that. It also sounds like he verbally abuses you. Your baby is going to grow up in a home where his/her dad shows you no respect.
2007-03-17 20:39:01 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just leave him to cool down then try to be casual not begging for sex. May b after few days he himself come to u. Just treat him the way u used to before this event he may be testing your nerves or else trying to check your morality.
2007-03-17 20:54:16 · answer #7 · answered by lovelyhubby 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry for you. He is treating you very badly. It is plainly obvious you are trying to love him. Please take heart and go see a couseller to deal with this hurt. Please try to get him to go. If not go alone and talk to someone in person about the pain. Please deal with this as soon as possible because no one should live like this. You are being verbally abused.
2007-03-18 01:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be treated that way.
You should think hard about continuing the relationship.
In the meantine, get a toy to pleasure yourself.
2007-03-17 20:43:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sean 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
RUN...give him just what he asked for, to be left alone. Don't look back just take that baby and move forward
2007-03-17 20:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by workit 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋