After avoiding relationships for 5 years i met and surprised myself by falling in love with a man. Three weeks ago he said it was happiest ever been.This transformed to a week ago screaming down the phone abuse at me for no reason and with no catalyst. Then sorry, then next day face to face foul verbal abuse and today he has gone without even an argument or call. I know love been destroyed as my trust now gone and do not want to be vulnerable to insecurities. Just would like to know why the behaviour. Is it my doing?
2007-03-17 20:33:28 · 18 answers · asked by sunshinesmainlyonme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is classic behaviour of someone who is psychologically abusing you and you are allowing yourself to become his victim. It will not stop until you stop it and that probably means you have to walk away. He has serious issues and I would be almost sure he has done this to others and will do it again. You are worthy of so much better. Find the strength and get rid
2007-03-17 22:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something.. The reason for his attitude could be anything. Ive been in a relationship being the victim and also being that angry bast***.. ill tell you why it happens..
1. He is a "hot-tempered" person : He gets angry at the smallest things, he makes arguments into disastrous wanna-break-up situations. But dear, some people are hot-tempered. And when fire meets fire(assuming you are argumentative) leads to volcanic eruptions. Maybe in a way, you guys are both fire. So thats why every time you guys fight, its like hell.
2. He had a bad past / bad break-up before.
This is somewhat painful for you cause you need to help him. And in order to help him, you have to reassure him that you are not like the past he has had. Patience is the key to everything. I have been in this situation and it took my partner a year to cool me down and convince me- im not like my past.
3. He is just plain jerk
This is a pity party for you. The traits of a jerk with a capital J is... he just dont care about you. You dont feel him in your heart. He just takes advantage of you when he's angry at some other stuff. You can see it, and you'd better leave asap.
Hope this helped, no matter what.. you and your heart and your soul would know if this guy really loves you.
You see him sincerely saying sorry with tears in his eyes.. then ask yourself.. is he really saying sorry, your heart will feel it if its real...ok?
Then what you do is TRY to help him.. (if he keeps saying sorry after being angry coz obviously he just has an anger problem or bad past)..
It also hurts when afterwards he realize he had made u cry..
It wasnt intentional sometimes..
Takecare dear..follow your heart
2007-03-17 20:55:12 · answer #2 · answered by kim_stolz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is scary. He has lead you into a sense of false security. I met a guy 5 years ago who, after a couple of months, told me he was falling for me. No love mentioned but we had a really good time together and saw a lot of each other.
Out of the blue one night he turned and blurted out 'I never loved you'. It blew me away. From then on he was unpredictable with his moods and behaviour.
Thinking back on it, it was his emotional baggage rearing its ugly head. I got out pretty quick. I would recommend the same. It is a short sharp shock and hurts but you will get over it. Maybe better not to stick around and watch his behaviour get worse....
Take care xx
2007-03-17 20:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you Love him and he is willing to sit down and talk to you like a reasoned Human Being, then lay your cards on the table and express your confusion with him but do it in a none aggressive manner. Try and find out what his frustrations are and endeavour to solve the problem or resolve the issue.
If he starts spouting off at you then maybe he isn't worth the attention. If you really Love him then simply say, "I refuse to argue with the Man that I Love!"
2007-03-17 21:14:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is blind isnt.its also blinding our weel thinking.think about this ,what is the most important thing in relationship.looks?money? no is TRUST. if u can trust ur partner why u must keep hurting ur self. u are precious like a diamond. my advice leave him find another man.i believe there a million guy in this world that will treat u like a woman and a human waiting for u.see the world from diffrent view.keep smile
2007-03-17 20:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by Trex Boys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he keep hurting me by leaving then missing me and coming back?
BECAUSE YOU ALLOW HIM TO DO THIS TO YOU!
It appears he has a anger management problem or a mental problem either way you'd be better off forgetting him!A man that acts this way will usually become physically abusive.
2007-03-17 20:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think of yourself dear!next thing you know he will be not abusing you verbally,but he will be hitting you!!
walk out the relationship now before it gets deeper & more difficult to walk out!he's not worth seeing if for no reason he takes out his anger on you!there is no excuse to cover up for him!IF you didnt do anything, he shouldnt treat you this way!
otherwise,sit down & talk it over with him!BUT do let him know that once he walks out the door you will not take him back! it'll only hurt seeing him leave,but if he's going to keep treating you like this,you're better off on your own!!!
2007-03-18 00:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it is you. You are just in a relationship that you need to get away from quickly. Things could become violent and i know you don't want that. It seems to me that he is bi-polar. I tell people that are in relationships like yours to get away all the time, but it is up to you to listen. Take my advice and leave him alone before it is too late.
2007-03-17 21:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by Makaveli daRule 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you allowing this person to mistreat you like that? What is wrong with you?
"Now That’s Love"
I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
Copyrighted
2007-03-17 20:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by Arene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he got depression or something?there as to be an underline cause to why he has done this this to you.
Do not feel that you are to blame in anyway, sounds like he does need to some kind of help.
2007-03-17 20:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋