all my life i think I am ugly because my abusive mom told me so, how to change that?

Question

i am 29 years old female, many people told me that i am pretty, however i don't FEEL like that, i think i am ugly and unattactive, so i don't even bother to make up or wearing nice clothes, my mother was the one who always tell me i am ugly, she was abusive emtionally and physically all my life, I've stopped spoken to her for a long time, but how do i get this 'you are ugly' voice out of my head?

Answer 1

first of all you have to develop your trust to other people most especially your friends. friends are there to hepl us achieve a very good self-esteem. they bring out the best in you most especially if you are with your gtoup. try using make ups if you want to and emphasize more on what you think or your friends think is the best assest you got. for example, eyes. try also to show some skin. and dont be an old fashion. you have to feel sexy and beautiful everyday. try also going to the spa and have your self relax, do some body or facial scrub. (it always makes me feel beautiful when i do that ;->) have a date also if you dont have a boyfriend. also, upon waking up in the morning, say this to your self, "I am beautiful and sexy! i got what it takes to be gorgeous"
if you have the guts, you can at least confront your mom in a nice way and let her know and feel that you are not what she think's. prove to her that she is wrong. make your self attractive to everyone.it's not you who got the problem but your mom for being abusive. she just want you to feel bad just the way she does. try also resding the book entitled "the child called it' its a nice book about a boy who survived his abusive mother.
good luck... and feel pretty you are one of god's unique creation. just bring out the best in you.

Answer 2

That little voice probably tells you a lot of garbage.
Try meditation - I learned that my mind is a thinking organ. It just thinks - it doesnt care about what, and most of what it generates has nothing to do with the truth
boy you shouldnt have said that
what must they think
I bet the boss noticed
Do I look pale in red
I wonder if this is on sale for less somewhere else
I mean - just plain noise.
Recognize it, and then tell it to shut up and replace it with something that is true.

Answer 3

If you cannot afford to go to a therapist, go to your public library and check out some self improvement and books on dysfunctional relationships. You will be able to find all kinds of books on the subject of verbal abuse. Here is a link to help you get started. You will also be able to find information about verbal abuse on the internet. Hope this will help you to realize what a beautiful person you really are.

http://www.verbalabuse.com/2.shtml

Answer 4

you're what you've faith you're. Take slightly of paper. Write down each of the sturdy features that you've, honest, humorous, truthful, then, write down the total lot about your face that you adore, or has been informed are eye-catching. Now sit down and imagine about your mom, she is mentally ill. Abuse comes from an section interior a ill individual who's grotesque. Forgive her on your options, no do no longer ignore yet forgive her on your sake no longer hers. quit giving in to her ailment. you'd be a slave to her psychological ailment in case you proceed hating your self. in undemanding words you may replace you. I disowned my father years in the past and that i think it replaced into best for me. My mom may call me names yet her voice hasnt were given a carry of me because i know she replaced into ill emotionally. upward thrust up and have self assurance. you're acceptable. Be form to your self. Spend time with your self on my own. ultimately you'll recognize basically how acceptable you particularly are.

Answer 5

1. Knowledge about why she did it and the mess it made on your psyche
2. Forgiveness that she is a miserable person and that she knew no other way (perhaps her parents did the same to her)
3. Realizing that you can not blame her or you will never get over it
4. Making a commitment to get over it, get it out of your head and realize that YOU and no one else determines your beauty and your value.
Best of luck and happiness.

Answer 6

hey it was her perception abt u but what counts is that what u think abt urself and if thats the case then do or wear what u like and stuff coz no 1 ha sthe right to stop u..and u can change this by raising ur self concepts abt u by joining karate classes and various other activities........so gud luck to u......

Answer 7

Ask God who you are and wait. Your mother gave birth to you but God created you. It takes time to wash out the false judgements people make about us.
Your mother may have passed on abuse that she, herself, received. It is up to you to break that cycle.
I think you are beautiful.