Is an affair much worst than a one-night stand?

Question

My husband had an affair that involved several phone conversations, gifts, dates, and multiple sexual encounters with another woman. He claims it is over and he only wants me. I'm having a hard time forgiving this. In my mind, it seems like it was would be easier to forgive him if it was just one-night that he lost his mind BUT it seems so much harder to forgive since it was so much more than one night and they had sex several times and he even spent the night with her when he was supposed to be on a business trip. So...is having an affair (conversations, dates, gifts, etc) worst than having a one-night stand with someone or do you consider it to be the same?

Answer 1

Don't listen to these people they don't no what you are going through right now I do because I went through it myself.The pain is so overwhelming and you want to hear something that will make you feel better or help you to understand why he did what he did.You would rather the answers come from your husband but forget about that ,you will never learn the truth from him because he is ashamed of what he has done to you and the marriage.This is going to be the hardest thing you will ever go through but if you love your husband and I think you do why else would you still be with him,If you are like me in the beginning when I fought out about my husband I threw things at him I slapped his face a few times I run out of the house a few times thinking I would never come back to him but I did because I loved him, I hated what he did and there were many,many times I couldn't stand to look at him . So many nights I would wake up and go in the bathroom and cry my eyes out .I even prayed to God to not let me wake up in the morning because I couldn't handle the fact that my husband had told another woman things about our marriage and about me personally and saying the words that only was meant for me,telling another woman that he loved her was to much for me to take in.I needed to find a way to handle all this pain so I was told to get a tape recorder and when ever I felt that pain and hurt feeling coming on to start talking in it .That was my outlet I would poor all my emotions into the recorder and it did make me feel better.Instead of screaming at my husband I screamed into that.You no that what you are going through is worse than any one night stand but I do understand why you ask the question.I hoped I helped a little you are the one who will need to find your own way of dealing with this.It is OK if you don't forgive him that will take time or you may never forgive him and that is OK to only you no your feelings, so don't let anyone tell you in order to move on you will need to forgive him that is a bunch of s h i t because I will never forgive my husband for what he did . In my book forgiving someone is telling them that it's OK what they did,it will never be OK for the things he did and said. My husband and I are still together and still in love he treats me better then he ever did before the affair. It's was 10 years ago when that happened so you see everything can work out if you hold on to your memorizes and your love for each other.
GOOD LUCK !

Answer 2

An Emotional Affair is worse than a one night stand, yes. The reason is that you get involved with your heart and feelings that develop into a mutual understanding that brings you both closer together and why not because there's no sex involved. Your reaching out and touching the heart and a friendship develops and the feelings grow rapidly and before you know it when the affectionate touching begins months later, it's like a fire that won't go out. I am married an was involved with a woman that was very emotional towards me and it turned into a love affair. To this day, it has not turned off. I have really got myself in a big crack and working on it as we speak.

Answer 3

i think both are worst, but if you want one answer i would have to say having an affair would be worst cause just like you said it was more involvement and more things that he did with the other women. I'm sorry that this has happen to you because yes it would be hard for me to forgive an sure as hell hard to for me to forget, so i sympathize with you. Some men are weak and fall short in temptation. you have to forgive him though or else you want be a rest in your mind,hopefully he want do it again. but don't keep checking up on him to see cause you are better than that and it will stress you out,sit back relax let him no that you not worried cause if he does something again believe me it will come to the light trust me it will and then you give his @ss his check out pass to get the hell on. good luck

Answer 4

YES, ABSOLUTELY!!! An affair creates attachment and most of the time feelings for each other which makes it much more complicated... It probably started with a one night stand that he didn't regret which became a situation enjoyable enough for him to keep repeating it and lying to you for it...

This was definitely an affair... normally people don't give gift to someone the don't care about... Either way make sure the attachment/contact/relationship is totally over or he will be tempted again...

Be careful!

Answer 5

Yes, a affair is worst than a one night stand. The affair can go on and on, with the same gal, with them having sex many, many times......where a one night stand is only for one night, and having sex just one time, and then it is over.
The affair can cause much sorrow and fear (of being caught), where a one niter is done only that one time, and there is no worrying the next day. The affair sometimes involves gifts for the gal, where a one nighter doesn't.
Just be lucky he came back to you...it shows that he loves you more than his little sweetie in the affair.

Answer 6

To me, neither would be acceptable, however, I would consider an affair much much worse than a one night stand. For the pure and simple fact that it was a relationship... and a relationship is way deeper than sex. If he had just had sex with a girl, you could realistically expect that it wouldn't happen again, but by having a relationship with her, he is saying that something emotional is missing in your relationship.
I'm sorry this happened to you, I think you should consider couples counselling if you want to keep your family together.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

It could be considered the same, he could have bought her all this junk and took her out just to keep getting some from her. He made a mistake and wants to repair it, I would give him another chance. Listen to your heart and not the ones that tell you to dump the loser. Sadly enough, your marriage might be better off after something bad like this. You have feelings for him and had a history, do what you think is best. I think he was just doing all this to get a piece of @ss to be honest with you.

Answer 8

I would consider an affair MUCH worse than a one-night stand. Rather than a one-time horrible lapse of judgment, he's lied to you on several occasions about who he's with or where he is. That sort of deception is a level of betrayal far above a one-time mistake. He's been giving her romantic attention that should have been meant for his wife, and understandably that would hurt worse than a one-night stand. I'm sorry your marriage is going through this, and I hope the decisions you make are the best choices for you. No one deserves to be hurt like that.

Answer 9

I think an affair is worst than a one-night stand.One night doesn't mean anything,just a sexual temptation.An affair means it was sooooo good that they couldn't resist and went back for more,and more ,and more.As long as your husband lives,he'll keep thinking about that other woman.I couldn't live with that or the one night stand.To me, both mean divorce.

Answer 10

I personally think that a affair is worse then a one night stand. A affair involves emotions while a one night stand is a wham bam thank you ma'mam. so I am with you and I wouldn't take the hubby back. I am where you are at and made my hubby move out.