How do I stop thinking about my husband being with a woman he was with for only 2 days while we were married?

Question

Last year my husband injured his back and needed surgery. During that time he could not do anything but lay around and use his laptop. It was 7 months before he got insurance approval for surgery. In that time he had an online affair with a b*#ch from the UK that he met on an online game. He was on strong drugs, valume and vicodin or oxycodin the whole time. The drugs turned him into someone I didn't know. During the same time his grandmother passed away......she raised him from the age of 2 when both his mother and father abandoned him. After his sugery he told me he was leaving to go to the UK and didn't know if he would ever be back. He left and was turned around at the airport......unfortunatlly they couldn't get him on a flight back for 2 days so he spent them with her. He was turned back because the woman has done this before and had complaints filed against her for fraud.......he inherited a good some of money. He was scamed. I know this, he knows this, he's ashamed and I hurt.

When I confronted him I asked him if she was really that important to him, he couldn't answer me. I told him I would give him 30 min to tell her goodbye......he dumped her in a public chat room...I was there. from that minute on he has been a loving wonderful husband and we are renewing our wedding vows in 2 weeks. I know in my nind that it was the drugs and depression that led him to this but I still can't get whatever happened in those 2 days out of my head. We have been together for 12 years.

We have been to counseling, I understand everything in my mind .......I know it was drugs and deppression. It's the mental images that I'm trying to get rid of.

Answer 1

You need to go to a counselor to work out your thoughts and feelings and then both of you need to go together to work the problems that caused him to get on that plane in the first place (and I am not saying that the problem is you AT ALL). If you really want to save the marriage, you need outside help. Good luck. :)

Answer 2

You gotta try to let this go, that is how you will get rid of the images in your head. Counseling might help you, but it's up to you to get over this, thus eliminating those nasty images in your head. I don't think counseling will completely solve this, it's going to take your will and time. I think there will be periodic images in your head every so often and hopefully less as time goes by. Try to stay positive and think positive about your hubby. He made a mistake and is being a better husband, and hopefully that will eliminate these images too. Take care and I'm glad you two are back on track and staying out of divorce court! :)

Answer 3

Its the images right, and its over, right, so leave well enough alone. He's trying and the fact that you were willing to stay in your marriage shows that you want him in your life. Your best out is to act as if this was a part of your life that you had no control over, and things turned out for the best. Be strong, there could always be something worse than what happened.

Answer 4

WOW!!!!!!! STRONG drugs!!!!! No way he was on say for instance Vicodin and Oxy at the SAME time! That does turn people into *********** Grammy passed away=depression along with the drugs.surgery too. Please go see a couselor for marriage etc.!!!!ASAP!!!! You need alot of help and you need to talk it all out. Take care!

Answer 5

Communicate your feelings to him. My ex cheated on me 2 years ago and I never got over it. We are now separated and I filed for divorce. If you still love him and you believe he loves you, get some professional help. Honestly, I believe if one spouse cheats, there cannot be love there, but that is my opinion.