Like I said in a previous question. I have seen it all and done it all. If I decided I want to settle down with one man would my sexual history matter to him?
I guess what I'm asking is if he would consider me "unclean" like a sex worker.
2007-03-17 19:14:23 · 12 answers · asked by Sad Woman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It would frighten me..
all the std's out there..... it should frighten everybody!!
2007-03-17 19:25:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from my own personal expierence, it can really go either way.
While, I didn't have what you might call a "long" sexual history, I wasn't exactly proud of how many people I had been with.
Before I met my husband, I did have guys lose interest in me once they found out some information about me (I didn't see it necessary to share, as it was very personal.) and some would even become more interested, simply for that reason alone (assuming I was only out for that, and not something serious).
But then, I met my husband... the wonderful man I am married to today. Very early on, I let him know everything.. so that he could decide for himself whether or not he could handle my past. I decided to just tell all, since I knew how it could turn out if he found out on his own, or if someone else told him. So, I let him know everything that went on, and also made sure to tell him how I was not that same person anymore, and that I just thought it was important that he knew.. incase it changed things between us. Thankfully though, he has always been a very understanding and loving man. He took what I told him, and said that it was my past, and didn't matter to him. He never once mentioned it again, nor did he ever judge me for it.
So as you can see, there are going to be some men who are going to look down on you, or want to use you for sex.. if you tell them about your past. Some may leave you when they find out. But when you meet the right guy, and he really cares about you.. your past won't matter to him.
We all make mistakes hun, so don't ever let your past make you feel like less of a woman. We can't change our past, but that doesn't mean it should ever define who we are.
I'm sure you will find a wonderful man to share your life with, when the time is right and you meet the right person.
Take care!
2007-03-18 09:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a problem. I wouldn't want my wife to start wondering if there was someone better out there for her. This way, she could be sure she had what she wanted. History shouldn't matter, although some guys have a bit of a hang-up about this. The best thing is not to hide it, but don't throw it in his face, either. He'll probably be able to tell if you're not a virgin, but other than that...if he asks directly, give an honest answer. You don't necessarily have to count them all out.
Sex workers are different. It's not like you did it with absolutely anyone who offered money to you, no matter how old/ugly/pathetic he was - is it? Besides, I'll bet that he has a history, too. Turnaround is fair play, after all...
2007-03-18 02:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I made the mistake of telling my husband my past. Days after we were married we got into an argument. In front of my daughter he told me I was a slut and a whore and then said the baby I was carrying couldn't be his because I was a whore. He left not too long after that. As a married couple we only lived together two weeks and I haven't seen him in close to a year. (we married in 2006) Some skeletons should just remain in the closet. And as far as STD's go....if you're having your regular feminine exams, your doc would tell you if there's anything to be aware of. If you have a clean bill of health have the doc write you a note saying that. These days it's nothing to be embarrassed about to be clean. Marriage means leaving your promiscuity behind you. Since you agreed to marry him I assume the days of "sowing your oats" are over. Don't lie to him, but don't go forth and gush info either. Let sleeping dogs lie and never go him a reason to doubt you or mistrust you. Good luck.
2007-03-18 03:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by Branwyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a history behind them. If two people love each other and decide to commit for a lifetime it shouldn't make a difference. I think that you should be honest if ever asked, but when I married my second wife we never asked each other about previous partners. Frankly, I didn't care and she didn't seem to either.
2007-03-18 02:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What has been in your past shouldn't be any of his business anyway. The only thing he should be worried about is whether you are carrying any kind of sexual diseases that could be passed onto him. If you really love this person, get yourself a test done to prove that you are clean of any of these diseases and keep it handy. If he doesn't already know about your past I wouldn't be telling him, unless I really had to. Good Luck and I wish you happiness.
2007-03-18 02:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if you really could settle down. You may need the hit you get from constantly changing partners. And it's much safer with lots of partners since you never have to work at a relationship.
2007-03-18 02:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by kellermaleintx2 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would want to inspect your equipment with my eyes. I wouldn't prn test magazine article you. Just put out and be proud. Marry means just him. There are advantages in being joined as two people though I am not sure.
2007-03-18 02:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but I would be honest and forth right so he's informed about your history and then let him make the choice!
I would bet he will say "I Do" in a heart beat if your honest with him and the love you share.
2007-03-18 02:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alot of guys actually (mostly in secret) like that for two reasons; 1st, you have already gotten it out of you, so you're less likely to run around. 2nd, you've had enough rpactice to be really good in bed.....
we don't like to hear much about your former romps though, so if you do mention it, just tell him once and then drop it.
There are many guys who, even if they don't like it, won't make it too big a deal. you'll be ok
2007-03-18 02:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by fromorto12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying. Stay monogamous from now on and everything will be ok
2007-03-18 03:40:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋