suffer
you hold my leg w/ u crying
you slice my heart with your hopeness
you tie my neck with your ways
you break my brain with your power
you take all my life with your black hand
you kill all people that i love with your sing
suffer....
empty....
dying.....
please, let me die...
cause i don't want life beside you...
2007-03-17 19:14:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Wow. That's a really powerful poem with some intene & heavy imagery. The fifth line sounds a bit odd to me. The cause of this deep & painful emotion isn't defined, & I would like it more if it was.
2007-03-17 19:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by ~*~HEAD OF HIPPIE CAMP~*~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good. The only problem is the grammar. I won't correct it for you, but it's a really powerful piece.
Ignore the other two comments, they are just morons after 2 easy points. Especially the person who called it "gay". Homophobe. If you can't appriciate poetry without it infringing on your masculinity (assume you're male, rarely hear women describing stuff as gay) then you are in the minority. Not to mention a dying species.
Keep up the poetry. And never let your inspiration or imagination fade, like our homophobic friend evidently has.
2007-03-18 02:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jack Creighton 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is dark just to break the ice
some parts don't make sense like the hopeness and "you kill all people that i love with your sing"
with your sing? i don't get it and one more thing, it's either
BEcause or 'cause << WITH the apostrophe just to let you know
well to go on, i think that this person since it can be anyone close to you, seems to be suffocating you with themselves. when you're with them, that's it, it's all about them and never about you and it seems to be taking a toll on you
it's a pretty good poem, but trust me, death is not the answer
i know the feeling of suicide, trust me i've been going through it for four years and i think i'm getting better i don't take medication and i don't go to therapy just to get that across
the poem is simply saying, you could make it whisper such strong thoughts that the words scream in your head, you just have to get a hang of poetry, it is an art after all
2007-03-18 02:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good, but i would like to know what in the hell hopeness is?
2007-03-18 02:45:48 · answer #4 · answered by waterlily750 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should stop seeing that significant other?
2007-03-18 02:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
gay
2007-03-18 02:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by infinate wisdom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋