My husband ,of three years, is starting to spend a lot of time with his friends. Although he tells me that he loves me, his friends always come over and they go off somewhere. It feels like he only spends time with me because I complain. I have tried to talk to him, but it seems like it goes through one ear and out the other. Do you think he is cheating? bored? or just being a man. I love him very much but, I don't want to be ignored anymore. I also don't want him to spend time with me just because he thinks he has to. I am tired of being left alone with empty promises.
2007-03-17 19:12:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's my take: If you're both young (mid-20s or younger), most likely hubby is just having a nice "clean" time with friends --- just hanging out, chillin' --- he probably thinks that once the babies start coming, he can't do none of those so he's just making the most of it now.....kinda like hanging on to the last vestiges of his carefree years. I don't think he's cheating --- I don't think he's bored with you either...he's just doing his guy thing.
As you said, he just started doing it. Hopefully, it's just a phase. How about giving him a Friday nightout with the boys? Yup, every Friday...then another night - maybe Tuesday - night-in at your place (where the stupid friends can hang out)...then all other nights just the two of you...are you cool with that?
Keep the flame of romance burning in your married life. Might I suggest spicing up the private moments?
CHEERS!
2007-03-17 19:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg... i feel the same here too. my husband does that to me and the only time i feel like he wants to spend time with me is when he wants me to help him at work so that he can spend time with his friends. ( we run a business together) when i do help him out he ends up leaving with his friends. i really dont know what to do, i tell him how i feel and seems like it doesnt get through to him or he just dont care. when i ask if he cares and respects me he says yeah but why does he treat and make me feel so horrible? well we finally got to a point where we are going to spend the whole day tommorrow just talking about anything and everything with out his friends or anyone intrupting. we are gonna stay home all day, turn off our cell phones and just talk about everything that has been on our minds and etc... i really hope it goes well cause we both have been mad at each other. - i recommend you try to get you husband to sit down and talk to you too cause it would really feel better when everything is out and said. hope everything works out for you.
2007-03-17 19:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Peter's_Wifey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your feeling without lashing out any bad comments about his Friends! Then sit him down tell him actually what you told us, plus you are fed up and want a change.
"Don't do anything to me that you wouldn't want me to do to you!" It so easy for us to give advice but frankly your the only one that can answer this question. We can give advice even guess but all said and done, You need to reassess your marriage intake.
Make a stand and stick with it or in fear it just might be too late.
Trust easy to have hard to keep, once broken !
Edit: Sorry Blackberry Bush,
I just saw you had started out the same as I. Sorry didn't see that until just now.
lol- oh my goodness so did Free-Lance!
Well 3 people must be right?
2007-03-17 19:26:04 · answer #3 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're doing is offering an ultimatum. It will backfire. If you offer him a choice between staying in with you because you want him to, or going out with his friends because he wants to, guess which way he's going to go. You want to give him conditional affection. Conditional on him doing what YOU want him to do, not what makes him happy. Conditional love is worthless. What you need to do is motivate him to choose spending his free time with you. Issuing ultimatums is a sure-fire way of ending up alone.
2007-03-17 19:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are not trying to keep him away from his friends and that you enjoy their company but you 2 need some alone time and you feel that you have not really been getting that.
2007-03-17 19:17:19 · answer #5 · answered by SK8R CHIK 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up or you will find a new man who is grown up.
2007-03-17 19:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋