I am 34 and gay. I recently came out to my second cousin who is 19 about a month ago. The rest of my family does not know yet. I just moved to this new city and had to stay at my Aunts house 2 months until I got a place of my own. I did and I live 3 miles from her now. In the time I was there I fell for him(my second cousin) who is living with her. She would be his grandmother and my aunt. He promised he would keep my secret. I told him because I thought he was gay also. I am sure he is closeted, but he would not volunteer telling me. Its none of my business anyway. The thing is I have written him this letter telling him my true feelings but have not given it to him to read yet. I am afraid he will flip out if I do, but can't stand to suffer in silence like this. Its not like I can get him out of my life, I have to see him every time she wants me to come visit her. I have recently brought him a lot of nice gifts to woo him. This is driving me crazy. What should I do about this guy???
2007-03-17 19:01:20 · 11 answers · asked by Josh H 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Dude...woo yourself into therapy. It's not "healthy" to be lusting after relatives.
2007-03-17 19:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This question is on the first page three times right now. And I'm pretty sure I remember answering the exact same question a few weeks ago. Are you going to keep asking til someone tells you what you want to hear? Your cousin just isn't interested, dude, sorry. You're probably really freaking him out by being around all the time and buying him gifts. Save your money and move out. You're 34. Time to gain a little independence.
2007-03-17 19:20:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Wow some people are so rude ;( ...
I think its something better kept to yourself. I know that's probably horrible emotional baggage, but he is so young. Even if by chance you professed your feelings for him, how far would the two of you take it. I don't know him or you but suppose its only drama for you in the long run. I'm sure there's a huge maturity gap as well as age difference. Think about it before you say anything. It might be better to just let it go. and Move on and find someone else ... thats better for you .
2007-03-17 19:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by derangdlilmonkey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GOOD GRIEF!!! He's your 2ND cousin and only 19 years old, and you're 34. Just because you're GAY don't ruin his life. There's enough messed up kids with emotional problems out there as it is. Quit thinking of yourself and thinking with your male organs, think of your family.......stop being SELFISH. Can you imagine the heart break YOU will cause your mother, father and aunt? No, because YOU DON'T CARE!!!! Your cousin is not gay, so lay off and stay out of his life so he can live a normal life.
I spoke the TRUTH and I could care less how many negatives I get!
2007-03-17 19:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by pattycakes 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, first you HAVE to come out to your family. That way you will be able to hang out with other gays and go out and meet new people. Trust me you'll find someone else. Being gay isn't a sin or a crime. You are a beatiful gay person. Who cares what other people think? Tell your family, it's either they accept you or not. If they do then you have nothing to worry about, you can meet new people. If they don't accept you, screw them, atleast you told them and you still can meet new people. Don't be scared, you're a beautiful person no matter what.
2007-03-17 19:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is an unfortunate fact of life that we seldom get what we want.......or what we think we want. Whether you come out to your family is your own decision. However, pursuing a relative and attempting to buy his affection is unfair to him and will only cause both of you grief in the end.
Start thinking with the head on your shoulders and not your heart or the head below your belt.
2007-03-17 19:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok.....first of all, we live in the 21st century. being in love with a relative is NOT ok. 2nd cousin or not, GROSS! its cool that you are gay or whatever, but the most important thing to remember, is that secrets COME OUT, no matter what, so i think it would be best for you to tell your entire family u are gay, before it comes out in a worse way. its going to be scary and you might get disowned by some ppl, but that is better than having a secret life from everyone and always having to worry when and if it will come out. as for you being in love with a cousin, thats just nasty, and if u don't realize that, u need to get some help. seriously, go to a free clinic where you can get low cost or free counseling. you need to come to grips as to why u are having feelings for your cousin. i think it might just be that he is the first person you told about being gay, so maybe since you are feeling trustful of him, you feel closer to him, and you are mistaking that trust for love. if you would have told your dad, brother, or grandpa, you might be feeling "in love" with them. who knows? but whatever u do DON'T tell your cousin u love him. and DO tell everyone that you are gay, just to get it out in the open. who knows, maybe they will be more supportive of you than u think. but if they can't accept you as you are, and still love you, and they turn their backs on u, and even disown u, you will be better off without them anyways. when it comes to love and family, it should be unconditional no matter what u do, or who u are.
2007-03-17 19:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by waterlily750 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well think of it this way he is your 2nd cousin, i think its still wrong to be with someone so close in your family, by the way i am a lesbian and i just dont think its a good idea anyways because like you said it might tear your family apart or make it awkward.....think about what you are doing and how it will affect your life.
2007-03-17 19:09:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are 34 years old. Get a grip on your life. Use some control.
2007-03-17 19:07:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
i would say go for it but he is your cousin.
Im sorry but that WILL ruin your family and he may not like you AT ALL after that because your related.
2007-03-17 19:35:27 · answer #10 · answered by D.Allman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋