I have had at least 50 lovers in my life (I stopped counting a while back). Some one niters, some first date, some long term. The problem is, I don't know if I can ever be monogamous. Should I even bother to get married or continue like this?
I live single and free to do what I want when I want. So what is it that I can get out of marriage that I don't already have? Also, would a man be interested in marrying a woman with a history like mine? Should I hide my history if I ever do meet the “one”?
Ladies, what would you suggest?
2007-03-17 18:58:53 · 14 answers · asked by Sad Woman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think it is a possibility to find the right one. However, it would be very difficult to settle down, 'cause you got used to another life. I am not sure you need to tell the right man all your history, may be some of it.
Marriage changes everything. Even people who were ready to marry they find it difficult sometimes, so i would suggest to live and enjoy your life.
Good luck
2007-03-17 19:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by snowdrop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a lady, but someone who has learned a lot from observation.
You ask if someone would be interested in marrying somone with a history like yours, honestly, once you meet that person it won't matter. They will love you for you, no matter what you've done in your past.
However, the more important question is if you are ready for marriage or if it is right for you? In todays society, I think everyone should be asking themselves this question. It's not 1950 anymore, and I think one of the only reasons to get married is to have kids (and that is only if both are totally comitted). Financial security is not and never has been a valid reason to get married. It is my opinion that two people going into a marriage should be able to support themselves independently so they are not dependent on their significant other for anything financial, social, or pyshcological. Once that dependency is created, the marriage will suffer major problems, I can guarantee that, and it will affect both partners as well as any children involved.
As far as the questions you ask, regardless of your history, as long as you're in the right position to get married (not just because someone else thinks you 'should'), someone will want to marry you; just be yourself and open and honest with that other person reagrdless of the situation. If someone can't love you for you, then they are not right for you. It sounds corny but live the life you want to live, because the most important person in your life is You.
Not everyone lives the cookie cutter lifestyle and that's just fine.
2007-03-17 20:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by mcmax20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of things that could happen, the right person could make you want to be monogamous, or there is always finding someone who is like you, someone who might have been called a "swinger" in the 70's married couples who find married couples who want to have sex with each other one time or over a long time period, some couples therapists used to perscribe it as a treatment, can you believe it? The point is that there is someone out there, I suggest that you just keep going the way you are going, be careful, make them wear protection. Someday you will meet the man that you were meant to find, and if when you meet him you pass on him for someone else, then atleast it was a fun ride trying to find him. No use giving up. Take it from me, I went out with a guy for 4 years, wanted to marry him, but his job moved him someplace else, so I ended up heart broken and believing that I had missed my chance at love, Then 3 years later he came back to me, and we are getting married this spring. Love happens you just have to be patient.
2007-03-17 19:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by kate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The nice thing about men is the "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding a woman's sexual history. I can say with certainty that most men do not want or need the details. I constantly tell my boyfriend he's the only lover I've ever had. He knows its not true (I have a daughter from a previous marriage), but he knows he can't handle the truth, so I keep it to myself. Besides, if a man really doen't want to know about your history, its not hiding. Its more like respecting the fact that he doesn't want to hear about it.
2007-03-17 19:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by lyricsop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I would suggest you set a goal for yourself and live by it !
Monogamous must work for both party's, not just him, so if you want to screw around then stay single, but there a lot your missing and age is not going anywhere and when you hit 45, you'll wonder what the hell happen! Speaking as a man If I loved a woman Like my wife then I would marry her in a heart beat.
But I would also be honest with the fellow.
2007-03-17 19:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were a guy, it would be taken that you are a player with the females. By being a female, most would try to call you a w----. So, it would be difficult to get a serious relationship toward marriage if you are not honest up front. Things would work out for the better if you stayed single if you don't feel as if you can be with only one man on an indefinite basis.
2007-03-17 21:01:41 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man worth his weight in salt won't care about your past any more then he'd want you caring about his past. Why should he? It's in the past. But of course, many men are very insecure and they want inexperienced women so that they don't have to obsess about whether or not they are the best, or biggest, lover you've ever had.
These men are not worth your time.
If you don't feel like you can be sexually monogamous, but you are the emotional monogamous type, then look for men that share the same ideas.
If you want both, look for polyamorous relationships. There is someone for everyone out there. You just have to be specific about what it is you want.
2007-03-18 09:26:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hide your history, whatever you do. No relationship lasts if there are secrets from the beginning (of course, this doesn't mean that you have to volunteer the information.) Just continue the way you are. If you meet the right man, you won't want to leave - the feeling of stability can be very rewarding.
2007-03-17 19:14:29 · answer #8 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it extremely is attainable to maintain on the relationship if the spouse enjoyed the husband very deeply and understood that we are all human, and forgave him thoroughly and not deliver it up for the time of arguments and so on. yet then, inspite of forgivness, there is the subject of have faith. If the have faith has long gone, the marriage is over. i think of it might count number on how previously, and the circumstances surrounding it, like replaced into he inebriated, under pressure and so on.. i think of i could be devastated if the guy i admire did that to me, as he's likewise my perfect pal. i does not be waiting to recover from it. My ex husband, did cheat on me, yet we've been married at in basic terms sixteen, we've been the two in basic terms young ones. We seperated and are stable acquaintances now
2016-10-02 07:44:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man who also has slept around a lot is a man who probably wouldn't mind your background and perhaps he would want marry you.
Perhaps it may come as a surprise to you, but even many female porn stars who have slept around a lot not just in private but on widely distributed porn films have also gotten married. And some married female porn stars continue to perform in porn films.
Simony Diamond is one such example. Here is a short article about her:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simony_Diamond
2007-03-17 19:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋