My boyfriend and I will reach our 1 year in a few months but have known each other on and off for over 6 years. I've really fallen in love with him but due to circumstances out of his control, his family is leaving for another state in a couple of weeks. He just poured all of his money into a new car because this move was so sudden. More than anything, I want him to stay. However, part of me feels like his family needs him more and he can be more stable with them.
I've been contemplating letting him go so he can get his life together but he says he wants to stay for me. WhAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO? Should I break up with him if he moves so he can focus on getting things right or should I support him in his struggle to stay? I'm feeling hopeless because I've looked soooooo hard and can't find a cheap enough place for him =( Please offer any input
2007-03-17 18:17:21 · 9 answers · asked by Lonely Love 06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i thiink that you need to let go, and let him move with him
family to get his life in order. if he stay, and things dont work
out he will resent you. when things get better you can go
where he is or he can come down . you can still be there
for him.
2007-03-17 18:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's very wise of you to first consider his feelings and the stability he'd have with his family. That's a smart decision. But he is desperate to stay, right? And you say you've fallen in love with him. Of course the struggle for love should be fought for! But how hopeless is it? You say you can't find a cheap place for him to stay? Well, what about with you? Or do you have no room?
Well, that would put him in a difficult situation. And that's understating it.
As hard as this is, if you have no possible way for him to stay there (what if he temporarily stayed with a friend until he got enough money for his own place?), then he has no choice really...
I hope you get something good out of this.
2007-03-17 18:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by newjerseynets_5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it pains me to say this, but I think you should let him go with his family. True love endures all things, but hunger does not. I don't think you should break up with him though. I would let him take the lead on that one. This is going to be hard enough on him without him also having to ask himself why you really did it- and no matter how many times you tell him, he will always wonder if you were just saving his feelings. I don't even think you should push him for an answer before he goes. Give him time to figure it out without pressure. Be willing to endure a long distance relationship for a while, if that's what he wants. It will all work out eventually, if you are both willing to work toward a goal of being together again. Good luck.
2007-03-17 18:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the matter with you!!! Why do women feel like they have to control everything that happens, even if they don't know anything? How do you know that he will be better off with his family? You don't know that!! I have an idea....LET HIM MAKE HIS OWN DECISION!!! What a concept!! My Lord, this is so typical. He's not a brainless dud is he? For Christ sake, lady, I think you have some control issues which may mean this guy WILL be better off with his family just because he'd be further away from you!! Grrrrrrrrr
2007-03-17 18:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by timmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
step out in faith, go with him and set-up a homebase there. that's if you have no fear of the unknown. you know finding you another job there. it's the best option if both of you love each other and him finding a cheap place is the excuse, that's weak. work another job if he have to. If he'll sacrifice for you and stay- must be sacrifices and compromises. breaking up with him for that reason isn't cool. go with your man. What r both of you willing to give or take.
2007-03-17 23:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by kelsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him make the decision without any pressure from u either way. Once he does make a final decision, support him, but also stick to you guns and don't uproot or change your life around just for him. Whatever u decide to do, make sure you are happy with yourself.
2007-03-17 18:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your boyfriend make his own decision on this one. It sounds as though you are both young and shouldn't consider anything long term until you both have your lives together more.
2007-03-17 18:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try to keep this relationship going...DOn't give up so soon....give it a shot..okay?
Hope that all works out for the both of you....I am rooting for the two of you!
2007-03-17 18:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go, he needs some growing up to do right now.
2007-03-17 18:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋