In wars like the Civil War, how did they tell you if a family member was killed in the war?

Answer 1

Many times a soldier would write a letter and keep it in his pocket, or give it to a close friend, to take to the family after the war was over. The letters started, "If you receive this, I am dead." Sometimes people from the same city would tell a family. Sadly, sometimes they had to just wait to see if he comes home. The government did not notify families at that time, but when there were wars in Europe, they started a way to communicate deaths as most of them were buried in Europe, France particularly.

Answer 2

I think standard procedure - after the days / weeks that it took for the military to actual know of a soldiers disappearence and death was for a letter to be written by the soldier's superior.

I understand that an army chaplain would travel with an armed forces represenative with a letter to the grieving family.

I am sure that the words would invoke patriotic feelings of dying for democracy and freedom, and making the world a better place.

The below link is interesting - just highlights the importance of a chaplain is in consoling families and the healing process.

Answer 3

Sometimes family members didn't find out. When the war was over and their boys didn't come home, people assumed. Other times, soldiers would write letters ahead of time, just in case. Sometimes even these letters weren't delivered.

Answer 4

Unlike today, many of the dead in the US Civil War were unidentified. Many families often just had to wonder. A letter was usually sent to inform the family if one of the dead was identified.

Answer 5

Like a person above said, it wasn't uncommon for a soldier to have a letter saying "If you have received this, it means I am dead...", but they would often carry them on their person as well. The military had special units set up just for the task of disposing of all the corpses strewn about on the battlefield. Aside from stripping the bodies of anything useful (ammunition, supplies, clothing, other firearms, etc), the death letters, if there was one present, would be collected. These kinds of units still exist in most militaries today in the form of mortuary affairs.

Answer 6

Heck the living didn't necessarily get a ride home, many stories of men walking the entire way. Some weren't the most honest folk and took to raiding their way home. So you see the families could easily wait a very long time not knowing if their father, husband, son was living or dead.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

communities posted lists of dead from regional units, or they may have made personal arrangements with a friend, Chaplin or other to send news of their demise. Often no news was delivered and only times passage alerted family.

Answer 9

The US military sent a representative to inform the family of the death.