Its been 9 years , 2 kids, i love him uncondionally and im serious about it, hes not so serious, to him its a peice of paper, not neccessary, any suggestions to make him see the light and take the leap of faith with me..Its sad to me, makes me cry, thats not fair!
2007-03-17 17:36:39 · 10 answers · asked by ANGELA29 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Does he live with you? does he help pay the bills? does he help you with the kids?
if you said yes to the questions, then yer married without a piece of paper. My husband and I were together for 9 years before we got married. My Aunt and Uncle have been together for 33 years and never got married kids and everything. they are still together and going strong. Look at goldie and Kurt they've been together forever and they arent married. they have kids. If you love eachother its enough a piece of paper doesnt make a relationship.
If your really need to be married on the other hand. then the time has come to say its all or nothing and then leave.
My opinion, he cares or he wouldnt have stuck around this long.
2007-03-17 19:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by gypsydncr_73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he isn't ready to get married yet, but talk to him one on one and explain to him why you want to get married and why you want to marry him. I'm sorry to say but giving him an ultimatum, or nagging him about it isn't going to make him want to marry you any sooner and it will only make him want to run away from the relationship. And why should you want to drag him down the isle, don't you want him to be sure that you are the one that he wants to spend the rest of his life with willingly. Just because there is children involved doesn't mean that there should be a marriage. And all you can do is just give him time, when he's ready it will be right. Ask him about a long engagement if he wants to marry you but just not right now. Or ask him to give you an estimate of when he thinks that the time will be right for him. If marriage is what you want for the future and your boyfriend doesn't than you also have the option to leave the relationship just like he has the option not to get married.
2007-03-17 19:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by attheendofmyrope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, by the sound of it he is the type who things you don't need the paper to be "married". To him you already have the relationship. The problem with this is that even if you get him to marry you, he is not likely to respect the marriege and if he ever decides that he is fallen out of love or that things are just getting to difficult for him, he might have no qualms about simply leaving.
The question you need to ask yourself is whether he is truely commited to you and whether he would take the vows of marriage seriously. If so, then perhaps you could try this approach. If the paper is no big deal to him, then it sould be no big deal to get it, right? And if he realy wants to make you happy then he would do this for you because it is important to you, right?
I hope this helps.
2007-03-17 18:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by BoranJarami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why fix it if it isn't broken. U have to ask yourself if fighting this battle is worth possibly hurting your relationship in the long run. U can either be okay with the way things are or give him an ultimatum. Either way, u need to do something so u can stop feeling so hurt.
2007-03-17 18:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After age 18, do not invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship
without marriage...Never have kids out of wedlock..
Always get a Pre-Nup...
Never marry a guy with personality or character problems, they
will only get worse and you cannot fix them...
In your case....You are pretty much stuck...
2007-03-17 17:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU chose to stick with this guy for 9 years...you CHOSE to have two kids with him...quit whining that "it's not fair" like a baby. He doesn't want to get married. Period. You obviously are the one who doesn't understand.
2007-03-17 21:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late, honey. You've already given him everything he wanted without having to get married. He has no reason to commit.
2007-03-17 17:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to discuss with him things like if he gets in an accident or on life support you have no saying, his mom/dad do. if he has a life insuranse policy you wont get anything. also just tell him you want to have his last name (if thats something you want)
2007-03-17 18:34:56 · answer #8 · answered by jjsoccer_18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do ppl have kids out of wedlock?I don't get it!!! Sorry but you have to deal with it.
2007-03-17 19:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by Atheist Eye Candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say Cya!
2007-03-17 17:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by THE RIGHT CHOICE 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋