What about this POEM?????????????

Question

what do u think of this poem i wrote:

As I think of you,
my eyes light up,
and myanger goes away,
I become calm,
and self controled,
all the pain disappears,
and all the sadness goes away,
my life turns up,
and I become happy.

But as you slip away from my mind,
anger whells up inside me,
my fists tighten,
my eyes glare,
I lose control,
and go insane,
my eyes turn blood shot,
and my hands begin to shake,
as my body trembles,
and I become simply nothing.


ITS ALL ONE POEM. WHAT DO U THINK? ON A SCALE FROM 1 TO 10???

sorry if u didn't enjoy it. its my first poem that i made that doesn't ryhme... it was hard. sorry again.

Answer 1

i like this one too. 8/10

Answer 2

It's pretty good . The subject is rather trite though. And there are also a few spelling mistakes you might want to look over. Yeah and I agree about it being hard. It takes some practice. But you had some nice words in it that made it pretty effective. On a scale from one to ten, I'd say a six. It's good over all, but could use some revisions.

Answer 3

il be frank with u. i dont really like this... it shounds like u were trying to write a poem. u cant just decide to write something, the idea has to come to u. id give it a 5/10
As i lay on the wet dewy ground,
another summer night fades away,
and with this loss of dark, dreary isolation,
a new day heads my way.
(all phrases begin with differant 'a' words)

Answer 4

a perfect 10

Answer 5

Its not that good, I like poems with more depth, and mystery, Like great wrods and metaohors, to where you have to figure out what the write s feeling

Answer 6

10
I absolutely love poetry

Answer 7

aaaaaaaaaa i don't know you should write another hell id read it