Did your relationship change when you were pregnant?

Question

My boyfriend and I were very affectionate and loving before I got pregnant. I lost all want to be affectionate and cuddly with him. It made me almost think if something was wrong and if the reason I felt that way was cause I was falling out of love with him or something. I have been in a bad mood most of the end of the pregnancy which has also caused a lot of fights.

I sure hope this is just the pregnancy? Will we get that spark back after the baby is born??

Answer 1

Lots of good answers so far. The big part being you are affected by hormonal changes, and it's a natural part of pregnancy.
It is not unusual to want distance from everyone, even the ones you love the most.
It could well be just female instinct to protect her pregnancy and the coming baby from those who might do harm. In the animal kingdom that would include the father. Now even though you as a human have the logic to know that your boyfriend means you and the baby no harm, it's possible that on a cellular level you are just being cautious.
Did your love for him disappear, no it's still there, it's just fighting the changes in your chemical make-up.

For future happiness, try reflecting on the things that brought you together to start with. Make efforts to use affectionate pet names. Make efforts to include him in the pregnancy process. Let him know how much his support while you aren't feeling your best means to you as a partner and a mom-to-be.

Loving someone is more than just surface attraction and making love behind closed doors. Loving is the expression of a deep connection, of commitment to another human, and you are going to share the giving of life to another soul.

I've felt the withdrawl myself. But luckily with help from other fellow moms and moms-to-be, I recognized it for the silly chemical changes that it was.
And I actively worked to combat the potential harm it could put between me and my husband.
I asked him to understand that this was temporary, and he did.

There's no one to blame here, just a need for understanding.

Here's to a happier healthy pregnancy, and to a joyful life after birth! - J

Answer 2

I'd hate to disappoint you, but it might get worse after the baby is born. You both are going to have to work extra hard to get the relationship back to the way it was, but if you try, you can do it. Don't rush it and don't pressure each other too much. You will have a lot of new and scary responsibilities with the new baby. Make baby your first priority at first and work hard on the affection thing once you have your routine with the new baby set.

P.S. You will have a hormone surge right after giving birth that will be more that you have experienced so far, it's what makes postpardum depression so common. Make sure that the bf is prepared for it now and tell him to be extra delicate and understanding for the first few weeks.

Answer 3

Your relationship with your significant other will change during pregnancy. It will also change after you have the baby. Don't doubt your feelings for him, just accept that your relationship is going to change, and make sure he understands that too. After the baby is born, you'll have a completely different life (assuming this is your first) and it is going to take some getting used to. And with so much to do and the lack of time alone together, you may very well want to be affectionate in those moments you do have to yourselves.

Answer 4

I was just the opposite when I was pregnant. I wanted all the affection in the world and I got it! My boyfriend spoiled me so much and treated me like a Queen. He cooked breakfast whenever I went over to his house. I got massages without having to ask for them. I miss being pregnant because I got all the attention from everybody. I was so emotional also. With you, it's just the hormones! Don't worry about anything because boys go through 'the motions' too. Even though he spoiled me, when I had the baby, things were back to normal. I didn't get treated bad or anything but I didn't get treated like a Queen anymore. :( There are so many emotions involved in pregnancy that I had no idea about. But everything is gonna work out for you and your boyfriend! :)

Answer 5

I was kind of distant with my husband because I couldn't get close enough to him since my belly was so big and it just felt awkward. After I had the baby, I hugged him when I finally stood up and it was so much different. I couldn't stop hugging him and holding him from behind. It felt really good to have that closeness again.
Also, my Love for him changed dramatically. I don't know if anyone else feels like that after they have a baby with someone they truly Love, but I look at him now with more intense emotions. It is like my love grew stronger and I never thought I could Love him more than I did.
You will Love him more and more each day. After you see the miricle you both created it will be so different but wonderful at the same time.

Answer 6

My husband and I went thru the same thing. We was very loving with each other, and even in the begining of the pregnancy with my daughter but after we almost lost her things changed. She was born and about 4 months later our sex and everything began to pick up again. She is now one and I am pregnant with #2 we are back to just laying in bed with each other with just a good night kiss.. I am afraid of complications with this one as well..

Answer 7

i feel the same way. i dont even want my bf around most of the time.
im tryin not to make any major relationship changes til after the baby comes. i heard your hormones balance back out after 6 wks or so.

Answer 8

My friend had the same issue with her husband it's ALL HORMONES once the baby is born normally the second after you feel all lovey dovey it'll change it's not you it's not him it's the hormones.

Answer 9

Maybe it's just because when you're pregnant, you feel not as attractive and you feel like your boyfriend wants other girls because you feel jealous seeing other girls wearing whatever and you can't. You don't feel 'sexy'. I had the same problem. I always pushed him away (still do) because I don't feel like he's attracted to me even if he says he is. SO most likely after pregnancy, things will feel better. Good luck!

Answer 10

hormones. I get very grumpy when pregnant.. kinda like 9 months of pms