We both have fantasies that invlove a 3rd party, do you think it would be a bad idea to live our fantasies?
2007-03-17 16:20:31 · 19 answers · asked by Mickey M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally I do not think it is a good idea. #1, depending on the sex of the 3rd party, can you handle watching your husband or wife being sexual intimate with anyone else other than you? #2, Can the spouse handle watching you with another person, and enjoying it? #3, can either of you handle it, say if it goes to far and either of you decide that you want to have an affair with this other person? Fantasies do help to keep the marriage exciting....but once you fulfill the fantasy...whats next.....it is safer to keep them just as fantasies, and to keep wondering.
2007-03-17 16:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've known many people who have done so and things went fine. The problem is, when things DON'T go well, the marriage falls apart completely. It seems to be a black/white thing.
Perhaps you should consider the reasons WHY you are interested and make sure they are reasons which having a 3rd party will actually address. You should also be very clear between the two of you what you hope to accomplish and what the rules are. Even so, you run the risk that one or the other person or even the third party has a hidden agenda and someone will get hurt. Generally speaking, someone usually DOES get hurt because though people might say they can handle it and they are being honest and blah blah blah, people aren't always aware of their true feelings.
You just never really know until it is too late, in this kind of situation, whether or not things are really on the up-and-up with all involved parties.
On the other hand, if you decide not to do this thing but go along with your marriage as if nothing is wrong, things might fall apart anyway. You need to be 100% sure that there is no ulterior motive on ANYONE"s part before agreeing to this and if things aren't totally kosher in the marriage, get counselling before trying a "home fix"
2007-03-17 16:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do I would suggest that you and your partner sit down and talk about all the limits that you are putting on bringing in a third person (if it is a one time thing, long term, short term thing, etc.) One thing that I would make sure that you and your mate talk about is if it is just okay when both are together or if you can be with the other person say while mate is at work, or the grocery store. And hopefully neither of you are jealous people. Also make sure that you both test clean BEFORE you include any people and get checked regularly even with the use of protection.
2007-03-17 19:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by Someonesmommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not a good idea at all and only will lead to trouble if it happens. Trust me on this one. Keep it a fantasy only and do not act on it is what i am trying to say. Are you ready for un wanted and unplanned pregnancies STD's and things like that that could happen as a result of this kind of a lifestyle?
2007-03-17 16:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aside from being a sin against GOD it is also a terrible way to keep a good marriage together. There are too many lost marriages in such events. This also has a possibility of giving one or both of you AIDS or anothe STD. BAD IDEA altogether!
Eds
2007-03-17 16:27:02 · answer #5 · answered by Eds 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT DO THIS!!!!!
You might as well kiss your marriage goodbye if you do this. Be satisfied with what you have with each other. There should be NO reason to bring someone else into your marriage bed. If you love each other and respect each other, show that love and respect to each other by NOT bringing anyone else into the picture.
Proverbs 5:19: Let your wife's breasts satisfy you ALWAYS!!! Meaning that you should satisfy each other enough that there is no reason that you should even want to bring anyone else into the picture.
Bringing other people into your marriage bed is playing with fire. Eventually you WILL get burned!!!!
2007-03-17 16:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I even have concept relating to an identical ingredient.. Al concept its a relaxing journey i won't be in a position to help yet think of approximately the different doorways you would be beginning on your marriage. Your husband might now no longer share himself merely with you , it does not be broken by making use of somebody else. i think of it is going previous merely intercourse, your important different is barely human, he might tart to get emotions for this different guy or woman. Or your important different might take excitement in the journey plenty with the third guy or woman who intercourse with you won't be as plenty relaxing.
2016-12-18 16:31:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very bad idea. one of you may like it a little too much and it can cause allot of problems. i would find other ways to fulfill fantasies like use toys so that it appears there is another person. you can find allot of things in a novelty shop that can help you out.
2007-03-17 16:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by Star 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not do it on your own. Get hold of a swingers group and go to an orientation session then a party. It is safe and you won't have to worry about any after effects.
2007-03-17 16:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yup
2007-03-17 16:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by bubbba2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋