can somebody please read beginning of paper and tell is there anything wrong with it & what i need to change?

Question

Watching too much television will stunt a person social skills growth. People believe that television is reality and a person view of reality itself is about the same as everybody else’s view. People think that by watching television they can solve their problem in thirty minutes or a one-hour, but what do not realize is that cannot solve their problem in thirty minutes or a one-hour time slot. In addition, a person will not have the experience necessary to succeed in the business world because they did spend a lot time with people. Also can come more involve with television than they are with their academic studies. Watching too much television is one of the major problems in the world today, which has effects on person social, academic and physical abilities.

Answer 1

It should read " the growth of a person's social skills" and "a person's view of reality is similar to that of everyone else's view" and " they cannot solve their problems" and "one hour"(no hyphen) and "but what they don't realize" and "they did not spend a lot of time with people" and "they can become more involved" and "which has effects on a person's social, academic, and physical abilities".
Hope this helps!

Answer 2

Watching too much television will stunt the growth of a person's social skills. Many believe that television is reality, and that a person's view of reality itself is more or less the same as everybody else’s. They think that by watching television their problems will be solved in thirty minutes or a one-hour. But, what they do not realize is that no-one can solve their problems this way. In addition, a person will lack the experience necessary to succeed in the business world because they did not spend enough time with real people. Also, they can become more involved with television than they are with their academic studies. Watching too much television is one of the major problems in the world today: this effects one's social, academic and physical abilities.

Answer 3

Not sure if this is what you were asking. Feel free to use them if they help.

Watching too much televison could possibly stunt one's personal social skills growth.

Some people could possibly belive that television is reality and that one charactor's view of reality itself, is similar to anyone's.

Other people may believe that life can be as a televison show, in that all problems can be solved in such a short time frame, which is not possible in most situations addressed.

A person might have the knowledge to function in the real business world but they would still lack the experience to handle real world situations.

It is possible that certain people may become more obsessed with televison to a point where their academic studies begin to suffer.

It could be possible that watching excessive amounts of televison might affect youths in the world today due to the hindering of actual social, acidemic, and physical anilities.

Answer 4

If your English is a bit shaky, your logic is sound. What comes across from reading it is that you are saying people spend too much time watching tv and are thus losing social skills. And watching things like soaps, viewers tend eventually to accept this as the 'norm'.
If this is what you intended, then your message is coming across. I would rewrite it. The answer below has some good pointers on use of English.
Points for consideration in your topic are that television is a great means of entertainment, and can be educational - people can see wild animals in their natural habitat, for instance. But too much tv can make people dullards - great word, try using it!
Good luck with your paper.

Answer 5

Since this is the first paragraph - you should be introducing the paper and it's premise. You have several ideas in here and each one should be in a paragraph of its own. I think the thoughts are fine, but as an introduction, they are very scattered and makes the reader try to figure out what you are intending to say rather than following your line of thought.

I count 4 separate ideas - the first and last sentence go together, and the rest do not -- I think you should separate them into following paragraphs.

Answer 6

i such as you and love your solutions so don't be mad! you're an extremely stable author and omg it is extra appropriate than many of the rubbish I examine on right here (which isn't asserting plenty) whether it only has only a splash a sluggish start up for me for some reason. I trust the different guy or woman that stated what could make me save analyzing this? It desires a splash extra of a hook, extra excitement.

Answer 7

What grade are you in? You have to use prepositions when you write. Find some sights online that will help you with this.