For the past couple of months, I asked my husband if he could help me pay my credit card bills and pay my share of the rent. He first said that it was ok, and today, he had the nerve to actually throwong it in my face and telling me that he is tired of paying my bills. He is almost 30 years old, just finished medical school and whenever he needs it just calls up his parent for some money. He has no idea what it is like to come from a poor family like me and in the past has made some remarks about how easy it is to pay for "only" $700 a month(that is my share.) whereas "he"(his parents) pay $2.200 for rent. It was his brilliant idea to move into an expensive apartment like this and now, after 4 months, we have to move out because his parents are not paying anymore. I hate the fact that his parents pay for stuff, and i did not know when we got married that that was the case. Who is at wrong here?
2007-03-17 14:51:40 · 18 answers · asked by tscheggl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I stopped reading when I got your "share" of the rent. That is not a marriage, that's a roommate.
I can not imagine having a marriage like that. You need to really take a long hard look at your life & decide if you can live with this man until he meets someone new.
2007-03-17 14:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Woah. Starting out can be difficult, especially with student loans, but I would never EVER take money from my in-laws. My husband grew up with money like yours, and I didn't, like you. We live VERY modestly. We manage to live with no debt except the mortgage we recently took out.
We pay off our credit card completely each month because we simply cannot afford the high interest. We do not eat out more than once a week; we do not buy extras; we do not have cable or digital television. We do not have cell phones. We know what we have to spend, and always manage to set a little aside for savings and our 401K.
All of our money is TOGETHER in ONE account that we are both accountable for. We both work at relatively low-paying jobs (I'm a second year public school teacher, and he works for a home-improvement store part time while going to school.) We pay all the bills together so we both know where every penny goes. We are extremely open about everything spent, and that's what makes this situation work. In fact, money really isn't an issue.
I don't understand why a married couple would have to have "shares" of rent. I really think you need to pool all of your money and start living your vows. Keep the in-laws out of your finances!! This could entail a major lifestyle change. Good luck!
2007-03-17 22:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
#1 - When you get married it is no longer my money and your money it is our money. Otherwise you are not married you are just roommates!
#2 - If Mom and Dad are paying his way then he hasn't grown up yet and had no business getting married until he could afford to take care of his own family. A good example of that is living too far above your own means and expecting someone else to pay for it.
#3 - You should have known each other a little bit better before getting married and faced the what if's before saying the I do's. You don't marry someone unless they have a somewhat stable life in place and exhibit that to you beforehand. (This part is just as much your fault as it is his).
Mark this up to a life learning experience and start rethinking your marriage unless you two are willing to raise each other into adulthood.(Or expecting his parents to). You and he were too young and are still too young to have committed to a lifetime yet. So may answer is you are both wrong.
2007-03-17 22:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Now that his parents aren't paying anymore, this will be the real test to see if you both get along. Both of you are going to have to learn how to budget together. He is probably just as upset as you that he is on his own now as well..Try to come up with a plan. Many couples have to share money these days.
2007-03-17 22:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by ♫ Melody 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like a selfish pig that likes to free load and use people for his own gain.
Sounds like you would be happy with a simple lifestyle, where he seems to want to live above your financial means as long as someone else is paying.
He's tired of paying bills? I'll send him a lifetime supply of tissues to wipe his eyes and blow his crybaby nose.
We all pay as we go. He needs to get a grip on reality, gird up his loins and be a real man and responsible to his own family (you).
2007-03-17 22:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by HowFuzzyWuzee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The two of you are married so what is his is yours and vice versa but he is wrong I know in today's life it takes 2 incomes but he should not complain about having to help you out,after all you are his wife and he vowed to take care of you.
2007-03-17 22:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by leoslady3900 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 3 of you are . You grew up poor he grew up rich . He was showing you the lime life and not thinking you ate it up .To you he had a money tree something you never seen before how was you to know how to handle it you never seen anything like that but ignorance is no excuse .
Your hubby should never of used his parents money trying to impress you or friends and the parents should not of spoiled him so much but they did and now there trying to teach him a little late they should have did that years ago
You guys are late bloomers Welcome to the grown up world.
2007-03-17 22:10:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Neither is wrong - but you have to communicate and agree on treating each other with respect and who is going to take care of what, financially.
2007-03-17 22:01:40 · answer #8 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is every one isn't rich or have lot of money he should got a cheaper apartment but nice and not ask his parents for money
2007-03-20 23:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need marriage counseling. Money problems are the #1 cause of divorces.
2007-03-17 21:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋