Considering the possibility of being single for your whole life, would u date someone u have no interest in?

Question

Think about this before answering my question.

There is a guy who always make me flustered around him, because I like him. there is another guy who never makes my heart race.

should I TRY to date the former one? or I should date the latter one?

I say "try" when i refer to the former one. since i get so nervous around him. i guess dating with him could be an excitement(well, he is the one I like!) or a misery(well, imagine feeling pass-out for a whole day)

for the latter one, pros is: I need not to feel lonely anymore! cons is: I am just lying to myself. Why cant I date with someone I truly like? BTW, knowing that one day I am going to marry a guy that cant even make my heart race is even worst than passing out.

Please give me some advice. Thanks in advance!

I get really depressed everytime I think about this(marrying someone I dont even like)!

Please help me!!

Answer 1

Give them both a try...

Answer 2

I would try it with the guy you like. You never know and not asking will just waste time like others have said. Not only that but the longer you wait for some reason the more reasons you will develop for not asking. So you need to ask now or it will end up being never.

I'm sorry but I disagree with everyone else here about the other guy. You don't know what will happen with him either. You may not be all flustered but there is nothing wrong with dating someone casually with no thoughts of commitment. Guys do it all the time so why can't you girls do it also.

You never know what can develop from a random person you are casually dating. You just might find out that Mr. Right didn't take your breath away at first.

I'm a guy so if I had two options in front of me I would choose the one that I wanted most and if things didn't work out try again with the second.

OR

Ask out the guy you don't like as much to build up the confidence to ask out the one you are interested in. Just ask simple. Don't start off with some crazy date plan. Just ask him out to a lunch after he gets off work one day.

Answer 3

It's simple. Don't marry somebody you don't like.

I'm a guy who was never popular with the ladies. In fact most chicks hate me. By the time I was 30 years old I'd only had one decent relationship with a girl and it didn't last because she dumped me the minute somebody else was interested in her. I eventually married somebody I wasn't really excited about just because she was available. Now it's 20 years later and I regret it every single day. I'd divorce her in a heartbeat except the settlement would leave me homeless.

The moral of the story is that it's better to be single and lonely than be married to --and stuck with-- somebody you'll eventually hate and who will eventually hate you.

Answer 4

Sun,
I 100% agree to not marry someone for security.The nervous part is because you don't think he would think your good enough for him.If that's the case unless you take the first step you got no chance with him.What ever you decide to do make sure you ready to commit to marriage and your really sure you want to make the sacrifices because you want to be with someone for the rest of your life.Finally you won't end up marrying someone that doesn't make your heart beat if you refuse.Half of marriages end in divorce.Don't gamble on marriage for fear of being lonely because you might end divorced AND lonely or worse married and unhappy.You really answered your own question when you said you would just be lying to yourself.
Best of luck.

Answer 5

You sound so conflicted. Like you are bouncing back and forth. Honey, I want to tell you that you are so much better off alone than to be with someone you know you don't love just so that you wont have to be alone. I have been celibate for l4 years not because of some big moral thing but because I simply have not met a man in that time that I feel could be the one. I don't have to be "in love" to get involved with a guy but I'll be darned if I'm just going to date someone just to date. I want the possibiility of love at the very least. If I know up front that it wont work for me then I would ten times rather be by myself than to date someone whom I know does not meet my standards. I have not stopped living -I go out in groups or go to a movie or dinner but i"m not going to repeatedly put myself in deeper and deeper just so that I wont be alone. Good Luck to you - live the way you want to -k-

Answer 6

Don't even consider dating someone you are not interested in. It will lead to a miserable life for both parties. You need to meet more people. There's no reason why you have to narrow it down to two people when the world's full of them. Try saying hi to the one you like, but keep your eyes open for other possibilities.

Answer 7

I'm almost 50 and have been single my whole life, with little chance of being otherwise.

I would never hook up with someone just to be with someone -- that's begging for misery, and would be unfair to him. Feeling lonely when you aren't alone is a much worse feeling than being alone.

But there is someone you like -- it would be worth it to see if it works out.

You don't give your age; what makes you think you have to marry now or never?

Answer 8

I agree you should not go out with someone you're not interested in at all, but at the same time, why aren't you interested? Maybe you should go out with them and get to know them first before you decide whether you're interested in them in a romantic way. It really takes getting to know someone on the inside before you can fully see them on the outside. There have been men I've spent time with who became more attractive to me the more I got to know them. As far as the one you know you DO like. Same thing. You got to get to know this person as a friend before you can decide whether you can have really true romantic, loving, caring feelings. If you can't be comfortable enough with a person to be absolute best friends with them first, for a time, then how can you be anything more?

Answer 9

I don't think marriage is something you need to be concerned about now. If you don't like someone, certainly don't go out on a date with them. Is unfair to both of you. Spend some time around guys as friends so you'll get used to male energy and can be more comfortable with someone you have a crush on.

Answer 10

U think too much. Follow your wisdom, NOT your heart. But do flow with your feelings, within reason. In time, a friend can turn out to be one you come to admire, and , poof! feelings of romance appear, sometimes. That's how it works. All flash without substance can lead to mere dust.

Answer 11

ask yourself this one thing "if I had 24 hours to live, would I be afraid to ask the guy I really like out?" Your answer is probably no. i say go for the one you like. To quote one of my favorite movies "anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn't be one of them" good luck!!