I just got off the phone with my separated husband. We've been separated for a year after I found out he had a mistress and has been living with a woman for most of this past year. I have filed for divorce and am basically waitng for the statute time to run before I can enter the Final Decree. He doesn't want the divorce and wants me back. But there is this guy. He is a friend who I've known for a few years. Nothing has happened between us other than friendship. I don't know where I stand with him right now or if there is a future with him - but I can already see spending the rest of my life with him. Is one in the hand really worth two in the bush?
2007-03-17 14:20:19 · 16 answers · asked by Gatekeeper 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, but a good one in the hand is worth 50 cheaters! You've done the right thing in divorcing him. No one can judge you harshly for this decision. It's wise, prudent, and you've taken the proper time to think over your decision, so after a couple months you won't be saying "Oh my God, what have I done"? Your next step after the divorce shouldn't be getting married again. It should be getting yourself ready to be on your own. No, I don't expect you to drop this guy you like. I just think it's a good idea to become self sufficient. Completely! Then grab him!
2007-03-17 15:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're seriously considering taking back your husband who cheated on you for over a year? The only reason he wants you back is probably because his other woman dumped him. Don't get involved again with your husband, make him your ex husband and move on with your life.
I would keep the relationship with this other man strictly platonic until your decree is finalized. Then, allow yourself some time to get your life back together. Who knows how it will work out, but give it plenty of time. You don't want to enter a new relationship still bleeding from the last one. Good luck.
2007-03-17 14:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit playing a game here. Marriage is not a game to adults(at least people claiming to be adults). Your husband doesn't really want you if he has been bumping in bed with another woman. If you're wanting to use your husband and this new flame that's coming into your life then you will get exactly what anyone else that does that gets - burned. Sooner or later you will want to get serious about someone and when you lead an unfaithful life it usually comes around to giving you back what you dish out. Dump the husband then move on.
2007-03-17 14:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving out of the frying pan and into the fire is never a good idea. You need to get rid of your low life husband and focus more on getting your life on track. Take things slow and realize that you have all the time in the world for a second chance at love.
2007-03-17 14:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether u get back with hubby should have nothing to do with the guy friend. Omit him from the picture and see how u feel about it.
Weigh the pros and cons with the hubby. Do u think u can actually trust him again? That would be my main issue.
I dont think I could. I would have to let him be the ex husband.
If u can actually see yourself with hubby, then try it again if u think u can forgive and FORGET.
If not, then u need to proceed with the divorce.
Dont involve the guy friend. It only complicates things.
GOod luck hun.
2007-03-17 14:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the chance of reconciliation is rather low. While separated, each side is already getting backups. Don't think there is any good faith on either side.
But to imagine spending the rest of your life with this guy you hardly know, that's a bit naive of you.
2007-03-17 14:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your separated from your husband because he cheated on u, and he lives with another woman, yet telling you he wants u back..... now doesnt this just prove the old saying as right "ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT" OR AS MY MOTHER SAYS "IF HE'LL CHEAT WITH U HE'LL CHEAT ON U."
My best advice to you is dont make the same mistake twice!!
Good luck to you!! With the new beau of course!!
2007-03-17 14:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by SHORTY38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Infidelity is the one thing the Bible accepts as a reason for a divorce. All other things are workable.
Even if you are not religious, you need to consider the reason this exception was made by very wise men.
Think about it.
2007-03-17 14:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by SnowWebster2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I wouldn't make my life about men. I would make it about me and get my life sturdy on my own. Once you are stable you will have the self respect to bring in a quality man. Just don't leap frog to another man. You really need to take time for yourself after any marriage
2007-03-17 14:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you're not even out of one marraige and you're already thinking about spending your life with another man.
girl, what is wrong with that picture?
you really don't learn your lessons.
put on the brakes, date different men eventually, but first get your head straight and start to value yourself more.
2007-03-17 14:56:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋