to talk about thier feelings? i mean if something is bothering them they tend to keep it to themselves instead of wanting to talk and work it out. is there something to do that would help them out without making them feel pressured or get more stressed?
2007-03-17 13:43:12 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be there for him, when he's ready to talk, he will.
2007-03-17 13:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure why men are like that but we are. It took a very special, wonderful, beautiful, and caring woman to get me to talk to her. I would always keep my emotions to myself, and she always knew when something was bothering me. She would ask me what was wrong, and of course I would say nothing. Then she told me that if something is bothering me and I do not let her know what it was, how could she help me, even if it had nothing to do with her or anything that she did. She re-assured me that nothing could change the way that she felt about me. I slowly began talking to my wife, and wow what a difference it has made in the relationship. We can now talk about anything, and very seldom do we get mad at each other. I think this was passed on by our fathers. I can remember my dad talking about his "nagging" wife and how she always had her mind made up about something and he could not change it. That mentality was passed on to me. Now I have a son and I pray that he will get from me the ability to express his emotions to the woman that he eventually falls in love with. My wife has made me a better man. I would not be where I am today if it was not for her support. Behind every good man is a GREAT woman. I am a lucky man!
2007-03-17 21:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by Tim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and woman have distinctly different ways of thinking and communicating. I would suggest you read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". It takes an in depth look at the differences and ways to communicate better. Men tend to hold their feelings in because they are taught as young boys not to cry or show how they feel because it would make them a sissy is often some of the reason.
2007-03-17 20:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by curious74432 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because men think they have to "fix" everything. talking about problems, to them, is like admitting they can't fix something and it's definitely not "fixing" to just let your feelings out... or so they think.
Men often think that admitting something is bothering them is the same as admitting "I can't handle this"
Women believe (generally speaking) that talking about problems IS handling them, but men have a hard time grasping that. It takes a bit of pushing.
The way to help them out is to listen and make them feel that talking about feelings is safe and comfortable. Let them know that you WON'T tell anyone (especially your girlfriends - men hate that) and you will JUST LISTEN.
The other thing is, men actually don't like commiserationg, whereas women tend to like it. If a man tells you something is bothering hima nd you "identify" by saying "Oh I know what you mean because I feel the same" he feels like you are trivializing his unique experience. It's better to say "Wow, that sounds difficult. Tell me more because I'd like to really understand better"
2007-03-17 22:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men grow up following the expectation that they are tougher. Even their mothers realize they can raise their boys as girls. Whatever "problem" the mothers have with their husbands, the mothers still don't teach their sons to be too feminine.
So boys of this norm grow up together re-enforcing this behavior. Men respect each other's space and they know that they have to carry the torch when things are tough.
Women expect their husbands to be tough in the event of adversity. Then they turn around and want their husbands to have feelings for them. That's the double sword.
2007-03-17 21:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that for men it's not always easier for men, especially when it comes down to showig their emotions. They are taught to hold their emotions in at a young age. They are told things like "Stop crying, you big sissy." or "you're such a girl". If a boy talks about he feelings, then they are automatically labeled "efeminite" or "gay". Now, they have NEW terminologies for men, such as "metrosexuals". Why even label them such stereotypes at all? This will give men and young boys a chance to develop more emotion stabilites and confidence to share their emotions rather than holding them in and then having the need for psychiatric help that then doesn't really help.
2007-03-17 20:57:35 · answer #6 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that men have been told that if they show to much emotion that their not really men.I know when my husbands mother died he did not cry and i could not understand but in his family men just don't show their feelings his father and or oldest son are the same way my youngest son is more in touch with his feelings but him and his father don't have the same relationship that his brother and father have.As in what to do i just wait years after his mother died something happened I can't remember what but he finally cried for his mother it was very heartbreaking to watch.
2007-03-17 20:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by superwomen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men usually do not talk about their inner feelings as they show the feelings more then talk about them. Also some men are scared of rejection by the one that they love if they say how they really feel. I feel that if someone really loves them they will talk to their men and let them know that they will love and accept them no matter what. My husband talks to me at times and that is good BUT he is not always vocal about his feelings. He tries though:) I give him alot of credit. ISometimes we as women are too vocal about our feelings and do not show them enough. I can learn from my husband in showing things more instead of just saying them. Yes it is a good release and very healing to let things out at times BUT sometimes we can just let someone know how we feel just by showing them as well. I love it when i see my husbands sensitive side and when he talks to me. it makes me feel good that he can open up to me and it lets me know that i can be open with him more as well.
2007-03-17 21:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's how this society has conditioned them. To be a real man means not to let your soft side show. Be strong don't let anyone know that your bothered by anything. It's hard to break those type of societal constants.
2007-03-17 21:03:36 · answer #9 · answered by cream city chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's harder for us men because....we're men. Sometimes we just rather not talk. If you push the issue, you'll just stress him out more. Talk about any issues when he's in a better mood. Timing is crucial.
2007-03-17 20:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by Yea Yea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him in a really good mood, laughing & having fun, then just start trying to ask him questions a little at a time. I know its like pulling teeth sometimes. I've been married 16 1/2 years & I've learned to wait til my husband is in a good mood before trying to get him talk about "deep" things. Then we do it in a light-hearted way.
2007-03-17 20:49:59 · answer #11 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋