I've been married 10 years, 11 together with my husband.
He never remembers any of our anniversaries, which is okay. But he also never remembers my birthday, exactly a month after his. I never get a present (and that's okay too), but I'd like him to remember me sometimes.
I know nobody in the city we live in, and my entire family lives on a different continent, so I always end up alone and depressed on my birthday.
I used to buy him nice and quite expensive presents for his birthday, but now I've stopped, since I don't even get a "happy birthday, baby".
I've always been bothered by this, but lately it's making me very angry.
Am I over-exaggerating and being too sensitive, or do I have a point?
2007-03-17 13:35:08 · 11 answers · asked by Morgana D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He knows how I feel, but he doesn't really care.
2007-03-17 13:41:36 · update #1
looool, ok, nevermind it's not funny at all...but the reason i'm laughing is because i am almost in your exact position, but you have it worse, since my family IS near by...but i would still love his attention to be alert. like, my friends tell me, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...and then after a fight on THAT day...i look at him and say YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TODAY IS!!!! and it goes on and ON every freaking year...i'm sick of it, you're sick of it...and it's really bad! we DESERVE that attention...i don't even know anymore..sometimes i feel like having an affair...getting the attention i deserve...but then i stp myself...sometimes i want a divorce..then stop myself..huh..this is life i guess..and it's annoying. good LUCK! to you sweetie!
2007-03-17 14:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are just bad with doing all that stuff not necessarily because they don't care but that they are actually forgetful or they don't understand why it's such a big deal. I do understand why it makes you angry and why it would hurt your feelings though. So I would suggest making plans with him for those days and go out and have fun anyway....even if you don't get a happy birthday or a gift (Do the same for his birthday too.) Don't just sit around and be sad or angry especially over something that's been going on this long and that he probably won't ever change.
2007-03-17 14:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he knows how you feel and doesn't care then you are fighting a lost cause. When they admit they don't care about your feeling then something very much needs to be done. Your not over doing this because as women we want the man who says he loves us to at least show it a few times a year which I don't think is to much to ask someone. Try doing something different in your marriage to make him notice you, like a new haircut or new outfit and see if that will work.
2007-03-17 13:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I agree. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. My family is about 14 hours away (drive) I don't know anyone in this city- which I hate. He has only given me presents for maybe the first year of marriage. We don't go anywhere at all. Just the same boring blah blah blah. You have a point
2007-03-17 13:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by Lupita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knows, then there should be no excuse. My husband does the same thing on occasion - like if he doesn't know what to do - he does nothing. I tell him what I want or where to go and he usually comes back with two lovely gifts - one because I asked him to and one because he wanted to. Very sweet... but I understand your frustration.
We also are pretty generous about getting ourselves everything we want through out the year, so I guess in his view we have everything we need... I understand, but I don't let him off the hook.
2007-03-17 13:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this goes deeper than his forgetting important dates. Marriage counseling may help you both to communicate and work out any differences or hidden hostilities. I do not think you are over exaggerating or being too sensitive. Marriage is about love, respect and caring. It is supposed to be a 2 way street, yours sounds very one way. Good luck to you.
2007-03-17 13:47:58 · answer #6 · answered by curious74432 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop making excuses for his total lack of regard for you.
It's not OK that he forgets anniversaries, it's not OK that he doesn't remember your birthday. Why is that OK? Stop rationalizing his bad behavior.
If you don't get in his face about not treating you like this he will never stop. And your going to get angrier and angrier. On day your going to explode and leave him, and he's not going to know what hit him.
Try to get yourselves to counseling, see if you can get him to understand that your not OK with this behavior.
Good Luck
2007-03-17 13:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by cream city chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rather, i did no longer sense lots till love "got here to the rescue." yet time has a manner of taking it away alongside with a non everlasting wave of melancholy. This repeats itself such distinctive circumstances, you in elementary terms gotta discover the main superb one.
2016-10-18 23:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by dusik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being too sensitive. This is serious. You either must love him tons or are trapped and have no alternative. But, this cannot continue.
2007-03-17 14:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Start marking your birthday on the calendar.
2007-03-17 13:40:36 · answer #10 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋