Is it a burden when you look really pretty and easier when you look frumpy?

Question

I'm the kind of person who gets lots of male attention when I 'try', when I do my hair and make-up nice, have a really nice outfit on, show some skin,
And I find at times it it's a pain in the a** at work to deal with because men want to talk BS with you and say dumb things, even hostile things attempting to flirt, stare at you, talk about you to each other,
women can get more hostile, or they get jealous when their b/f or husband pays attention to you, and generally, people seem to expect more from you and seem more prone to complain about you.

ON the other hand, when I'm looking sick and frumpy (no make up, hair a wreck, unflattering cloths, broken out skin and feeling and looking bloated) People leave me alone more, don't expect as much and no attention is payed to me at all, it's kind of a relief.

What is your experience with seeing both sides of the coin?

Answer 1

You are dead on. It's as simple as wearing heals or loafers. When I have heels on other women (generally those who are frumpy) get upset. They fixate themselves on your shoes and then scoff at you, block your way when you're walking near them and/or pull out their death daggers. It's ridiculous!

I never have those problems when I have other shoes on because it's a "relax" day.

I guess I should state that I live in the Midwest where most (not all) women think having babies and dressing like their farmer husbands is how it is done. And if you step outside that "norm" you deserve a roll of their eyes immediately followed by death daggers.

Answer 2

I think timing is everything. I'm old fashioned and don't think you should be "showing skin" at work. I try to look nice every day. Sometimes when you feel the worst is when you should try to look your best. When I worked, we didn't have a choice--wear your business suits with skirts and heels every day. Our boss said we were a reflection of her--something like Ceaser's wife.

Answer 3

I have come to the conclusion that quite a number of people never go beyond the physical aspect when they associate with people. Such a shame because there's a lot more to gain when one gets to know a person better.

Answer 4

Amen, sister!
However, I have gotten in the habit of being frumpy on purpose and it has it's drawbacks. Like when you WANT someone to be attracted to you all of a sudden.
I usually go right back to being a frump though because prince charming turns out to be a real toad.

Answer 5

Oh, you poor baby! (sarcasm)
I was bullied by guys at my school because I didn't look like their ideal. I have at times been suicidal because boys wouldn't date me and called me horrible names.
So your complaints about men flirting with you don't cut any ice with me. Enjoy being admired and appreciated, why don't you? And you can learn ways to turn away unwanted attention without trying to be "frumpy". Puleeze, come back and ask a question when you have a real problem!

Answer 6

It really doesn't matter if you look "frumpy", just as long as you show some skin, you will get attention from the oppsite sex....

Answer 7

I've been on bothe sides too, and I prefer to look pretty...I do not show skin however becaue I find that disrepectful.

Answer 8

Girl, I looks good all the time

Answer 9

You know what sucks when you go out looking crappy (which I do alot these days)...People treat you poorly. When I look nice, people treat me with so much respect. People are so judgmental...we're all guilty of it though, I'm sure.

Answer 10

I agree with you to a point. But, I also think it has to do with the "vibes" that a person puts out there.