Is this poem as bad as my teacher told me?

Question

I want to know your oppinions about it, is it worth more or less than a 75?


The children on the road
drift their gaze they do
to stare at the tower
to the face for a clue

they wait patiently
for the reaper shall weild his scithe
another hour passes
another hour of our life

just an hour
just a day
the fabrics of time
are beggining to fray

the teens on the road
drift their gaze they do
to stare at the tower
to the face for a clue

time has passed quickly
seeming to have flown
unknowing their fate
is set in stone

just a day
just a week
for lost time
they do not seek

the old men and women
drift their gaze they do
to stare at the tower
to the face for a clue

their time is nearly gone
they await the end
if only the walls
of reality could bend

just a week
just a year
that clock tower
is someone's worst fear

Answer 1

The great thing about poetry is it's always open for interpretation. It doesn't matter what people think about it, it's about what the poem means to you.

Answer 2

I don't know the criteria for grading your poem but for me, I'll just say my little critique and maybe that will help you understand why your teacher gave you a 75.
I believe a 75 is a C.
I'd have to agree.
The poem started out beautifully, tho somewhat morbid.
The line 'for the reaper shall wield his scythe'
I might have said something like,
'for the reaper doth surely
wield his merciless scythe'
Your verse killed the flow and emotion of the poem.
I also feel like it should have ended after 'another hour of our life.'
That did it for me.
Those first 8 lines, WOW!
The rest of the poem basically just reiterates the opening stanza(?) is that what it's called?
The only variation in the following verses is the passing of time and the aging of the children.
That became abundantly clear with the first 8 verses.
Continuing into teenage but skipping to old age messed up the continuity.
imo, Those first 8 lines is all the poem needed to be.
Anyway, that may be why your teacher gave you that 75.
Too long; too repetitious; too muddled.
Overall, the poem to me IS average and worthy of the 75.
If it were just the first 8 lines as you wrote it, I would have given you a 90.
What is that a B+; A-?
BTW, what is the name of your poem?

Answer 3

It's not Emily Dickinson, but it's still better than Jimmy Carter!

I'm no poet, but one rule I've noticed: if a normal person can understand it immediately, it's not great poetry. ;-)

There are a million ways it could be re-written, (I didn't say improved!) but just one idea, for example: Try using a pocket-watch, maybe put that inside the reaper's vest pocket. You could write it around the unknowability of what the watch reads, nobody dares to get close to the reaper, let alone look at the watch... so on.. use lots of similes and metaphors, find your own unique style!

Don't be afraid to write and rewrite as much as you want until you're happy with it.

Above all: HAVE FUN!

Answer 4

Its not bad. It needs a lot of work and polish. Look at every single word you've written and ask yourself if there is a better ( more precise, more powerful, more descriptive) word you could use in its place.

Writing takes discipline. Sometimes, as in the case of your poem, the original idea seems valid. The original thought becomes memorable when the right words are chosen.

Mark Twain said it best:" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightening."

Answer 5

Hi. You are probably a terrific person and quite intelligent. But not everyone is good at everything. I can't cook a decent meal to save myself!
Yes, that poem is absolutely appalling. Don't be upset about it. It also contains some spelling errors. Do use your spellchecker next time. Focus on all the things you are probably very good at. Have a good day!

Answer 6

Sincerely, it's not a good poem. A lot of repettition here and there and some words you used didn't match with the poem. By the way, what's the title? i'll give you 63%

Answer 7

instead of making it like about dying , write something about peace because when you write something like that you don't feel like there is feeling in this poem and you need something that could make someone think of something to draw their attention. I know this may be hard but there is chance that you aren't a good poem writer T-T im very sorry. Maybe you could add something you really appreciated when you were a child like i do sometimes

Answer 8

i could turn it in and fasten a be conscious asserting that this grow to be some thing you used to experience, yet which you somewhat choose the instructor to comprehend which you haven't any longer one in each and every of these techniques at present and don't choose her/him to assume that this could be a mirrored photograph of your cutting-edge intentions.

Answer 9

No worries it is a Great poem, and heck why worry atall...
Some just were never meant to be, .....
Relax Have Fun and Know always that You Are Loved!!

Answer 10

dude i love this poem. your teacher simply has a different poetic taste. i myself am i poet and loooooooove poetry, and i gotta tell you, this is some pretty good stuff. dont worry, if someone doesnt like something that you do, there's always a million other people who DO like what you do.