I want my husband to adopt but he doesn't want to how can I persuade him?

Answer 1

Simple: don't bear is children.

Answer 2

This is a very touchy subject. Having children should be thoroughly discussed prior to marriage. If one partner wants children and the other doesn't you cannot force your decision on your partner without the possibility of causing long term resentment on his part. There is no way that you can win in this other than to be up front and honest about relaying your sincere need to have a child in your life. If he is completely against the idea then you are left with a choice of living unhappy or deciding to move on to someone that has the same desires in life as you do. Don't make a mistake here though and force him to make a decision that he is not completely comfortable with. He has to agree to a child because he wants to not just because you do. It has to be a decision that will make you both happy. Remember he will have the responsibility of being a parent as well as you to be a family.

Answer 3

I don't know that you can - the desire to have children is a deep and primitive one and it is an unusual and munificent person who can take on and love someone else's child. Your husband, like me, probably feels he could never love an adopted child as he could his own - he may even be afraid that he could never grow to regard the child as his own.
Your pleas may be falling on deaf ears here, you have some hard talking to do about your future together. Don't make him do something that he really doesn't want to do - you could lose him altogether or end up with a burning resentment from him for the rest of your marriage, and the child would suffer as a result.
Sorry, there's not an easy answer.

Answer 4

You might be up a creek....he might not want to adopt, just as much as you him to do so.

Sounds like you're at a stalemate.

I would suggest counceling. I know that sounds like a cure all, but a professional mediator could get to the matter--the REAL matter of why you want him to and why he's opposed to doing it.

Have you expressed to him why you want him to adopt? Have you listened to all of his reasons he has for not wanting to?

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can marry a man, but you can't make him adopt your kids. Some men have issues with playing Daddy and supporting (both emotionally and fiscally) another man's children.

I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm sure you have your reasons and I'm sure he has his. I have to assume that parenting was a topic of discussion you had before you married or committed yourselves to each other. If not, I'm sure you already realize the positives of having that conversation.

If not, it may be way too late to bring it up. Seek counceling. I think your answer...to a question that quite possibly, you've not even asked yet--lies in getting to the bottom of your reasons for wanting him to adopt and his reason for not wanting to.

Answer 5

That's hard...all you can really do is communicate with him and tell him why it is so important to you. Maybe he would agree to taking in a foster child...that is, if you want to. I know you want something more permanent, but this can help you guys become comfortable with the idea of taking care of a child that is not naturally born to you. And if he decides that its not so bad, maybe you could adopt that child, or either maybe he will reconsider, and you will be able to adopt in the future. I wish you the best...I know that it can't be easy, and its not something that you want to come between the two of you.

Answer 6

Sare, adoption is a huge step (as I'm sure you already knows), so it will take a lot of time to bring someone around who's not on board with your feelings on the matter. Don't go to the extremes of nagging or of giving up. Somewhere in the middle you'll find ways to share your heart with him, and eventually you'll come to a mutual understanding.

Answer 7

There could be alot of reasons of him maybe not wanting to adopt. Have you talked with him about it?? It can be a handful financially and maybe thats what he is worried about or maybe he is uncomfortable about another child that isnt his but you can still try to talk with him about it try to be understanding of his feelings. maybe he would like to adopt at a later time. He will be more uncomfortable if you keep pushing the issue and refuse even more because of it. Try to talk with him and come to a decision.

Answer 8

Dont, that is a big dicision, and it is one that you need to make together, not manipulate eachother. You need to talk it over and exhaust all your options before you start forcing your opinion, give him time to think out the pros and cons, in fact help him, make a list of all the pros and cons of natual child birth, serogisy, adoption and all the others. GL

Answer 9

It is unfair to bring a child into a situation where both parents are convinced they want to adopt. Its sad, but its reality. You need to accept he doesnt want what you want and make decisions based on that.

Answer 10

i'm only young, but i know i definetly want to adopt when im older. i was thinking about whether my husband would be ok with it, so sorry dont have much advice, just wish good luck to you. just make it clear to him how happy it would make you & him 2 in the end

Answer 11

Could he make you do something you steadfastly refuse to do?
Children aren't toys, think about a child being in a house where the alpha male resents their very presence