2007-03-17 13:00:22 · 18 answers · asked by Isabelle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No its not wrong but it is a bit sad , I am not having a dig honest just saying this is the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with and its a shame you feel like this .. You both need to do things together again to get the spark back .. It just sounds to me you are in a bit of a rut , very common in long relationships .. I am in a similar situation i have been with my husband for 18 years now and we went downhill a bit , making love was a chore not a pleasure , we had a good long talk and we both told each other what we wanted from the marriage and we both wanted the same still even after all those years and 4 kids , we are back on track again , he has become very affectionate which has a knock on effect on the whole relationship . I always loved him but there were times i didn`t like him very much but for now things are good .. I hope you fall in love again with your husband and then you will fancy the pants of him lol .. I wish you lots of love and happiness .. Take care xx
2007-03-18 00:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isabelle, it isn't wrong, but it's sad. Honey, you have a long life ahead of you, and you have got to determine if you can live with these feelings for the rest of your life. If you are happy and comfortable in your marriage, you don't have to be crazy about him. But you do need to still love him enough to be the wife he deserves. If you are both happy with the way things are, it doesn't make it wrong.
There's a many of happy and health couples who aren't head over heels in love. But it should be where there is still respect and that you don't abuse your partner. You are to remain faithful, and loyal to him. If you can do this and be happy and want to spend the rest of your life with this man it's ok. If your husband is feeling the lost, it may not be ok with him.
I guess what I am saying if you BOTH are happy then, live your lives together. If you can't live without the toe curling thrills, then you need to be honest with your husband. So, you both can move on. You are both still young enough to find a new start with someone else.
Isabell, you can't help what you feel. It's neither right or wrong, but how you handle those feelings is where the problems start. Good luck honey!
God bless you all..........
2007-03-17 23:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you love him due to your shared history together. But to keep a marriage working and be happy you have to be "in Love" with your spouse. Otherwise you are living with a good friend. Try to put some spice back into your relationship to see if you cna find that in love feeling you used to have. Go on dates like you did when you were first together. Try to spice things up sexually. Try new places, positions ect. My opinion is if you aren't in love he probaby isn't either. This is a good setting for an extra marital affair. After my divorce from my husband of 18yrs, i started seeing my first love from high school. The down side is he is married. He is in the same position as you. He loves his wife but isn't in love with her anymore. They are basically roomies. We were together for about a year and love each other deeply. He did leave me for her but i sent him back because he has a young son who his wife wouldn't let him see due to me. I saw how much it hurt him and i love him enough to let him go. You may want to try counseling if your partner is willing. You need to find those qualities you fell in love with and try to recapture them. I would be willing to bet that while you are content you are not really happy. Life is too short not to be happy. I have just receive a diagnosis of cancer at 38 and have realized happiness is too important to settle for less. If after trying everything and you still aren't happy leave. One last question have you discussed your feelings with your husband? He may not realize how you feel. Once he does he may be willing to try new things so you can fall in love all over again. Give it your best shot before you do anything. I hope you can fall in love with him again. good luck
2007-03-17 20:37:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong...you cannot help how you feel.. i have felt like this and some time apart made me realise how much i did love my partner... maybe some alone time will help you sort out how you really feel, or maybe go away alone together for a weekend? if you still feel the same way though its maybe time to call it a day..you have to be true to yourself, and you have the right to be happy..sometimes falling out of love with a long term partner can be the hardest thing.. x good luck x
2007-03-17 20:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♥Cat Lady♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's common enough, feelings change throughout the years as you mature, each day has a different course, there will be times when you love him, times when your in love with him and times when he will look like the hunk you wed,
Don't despair, by the end of most peoples lives, they just want company and to be loved and care for by someone and hopefully that person will still be your husband.
2007-03-17 20:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by lazybird2006 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's sad and unfortunate but it's not wrong, you are only human after all and you can't help it if you fall out of love with him any more than when you fell in love with him. don't beat yourself up over it. there may be a tough decision ahead for you though, can you go through life with someone you are not in love with? it's so hard but you should listen to your heart. i made a big mistake of staying with someone i wasn't IN love with anymore because i still 'loved' her and didn't want to hurt her. i lost someone that i really was in love with because of that. it hurts so much. i didn't act in time, i hope you know what you want to do with your life and do it before it's too late. good luck.
2007-03-18 20:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by daveconn75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my in laws have been married for 40 years and are still deeply in love with each other and that is the reason they are still together now after coming through thick and thin so if you are not in love with him or fancy him then it is wrong to be with him and you should free him to find somebody who will fall in love with him and remain in love with him
2007-03-18 12:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by truebrit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are only human. It is a common enough situation. It's nice that you still love him after 12 years.
2007-03-17 20:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by The Oak 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a way yes. But i also know how u feel. Ive been with my fella 10 yrs & i love him, but my heart doesn't flutter anymore. I often think i should let him go, but what we have is the norm, so we just carry on. Try & do more things together & have fun.
If he left you, how would you feel???
2007-03-17 20:41:43 · answer #9 · answered by crackertyjack 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think its wrong but if he knows then may be u both can work on getting the spark bk in ur marriage good luck hope all works out for u both
2007-03-17 20:35:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋