has anyone else ever felt this way?

Question

when I was 24 weeks pregnant, I went into preterm labor, and they stopped it with magnesium sulfate, and gave me the steroid shots to benefit her lungs. they sent me home and 5 weeks later my water broke. I was put in the hospital on strict bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I delivered 5 weeks later. and ever since I've been really sad, that I couldn't really experience all that pregnancy had to offer. I miss being pregnant, having the belly, going out in public to show it off, I miss the kicks, and the hiccups, and the doctor appointments. reading how my baby is developing, hearing the heartbeat, and seeing the ultrasound pictures. I miss it all. especially today, because it's my due date, and I have a 6 week old daughter. I love her more than anything, but I just feel like my pregnancy was cut too short. I am glad I have her, but today I should be worrying when she is going to come. and all I was ever able to worry about was how long they'd be able to hold off delivery.

Answer 1

I think everyone who's ever delivered a pre-term baby felt the same way, at some point.
I loved being pregnant, and I was happy and healthy and thoroughly enjoying it -- right up until I went into labor two months early. I spent a month in the hospital, too, and gave birth five weeks early. On my son's six-week "birthday," I took him to the doctor to have his umbilical stump removed, because it wouldn't fall off on it's own. I'd had this superstitious belief that the day his umbilical cord finally fell off was the day he was supposed to have been born. It's funny, but I felt much better after that.
Such a stressful end to a pregnancy -- and yours sounds much scarier than mine -- does feel like a let-down. And a tiny baby with the little problems pre-term babies have, is another layer of stress on top of that. But you need to let it go. Look into that baby's eyes and thank her for everything she is today, and the extra six weeks you've had together. It's a beautiful time, and it's shame -- understandable, but still a shame -- to spend it fretting over what was never meant to be.

Answer 2

Well for me, I wasn't really the "pregnancy type". I hated being huge and not being able to do simple stuff like tie my shoe laces or wash my legs and feet in the shower or get out of the car or having nothing to wear and especially i hated the 60 lbs. weight gain! I did enjoy it at some point but mostly I couldn't wait to give birth and just have my baby. I actually was just a week early from my due date. But I see what u mean, and yes sometimes I do miss my belly and her kicks and seeing my stomach move in all different shapes and the excuse to eat whatever i wanted. But u know what, so long as ur baby is here and she's healthy. Especially for you, having gone into preterm labor that early and being bed ridden that long. I got nervous when they said my daughter had a little jaundice... and that's usually normal. So just look on the brighter side and focus on now, you got ur baby and just keep her healthy and mostly happy...and make sure she gets lots of love and hugs and lots of kisses. Congratulations... i got a five week old healthy baby girl, too...and come to think of it, i'd rather have her than any ol' belly any day!

Answer 3

I am really sorry this happened to you. When I was pregnant, and after the baby, I didnt have time to worry about things like that. I was 19, and my husband was 20, and our baby hadn't been planned. Things were a nightmare the whole time because of our families, not to mention financially. I was so sick I wasnt allowed to work more than 12 hours a week, and my husband had lost his job becase our car broke down and he couldnt commute. It was a nightmare, and we didnt even know if we would have a roof over our heads. We had to live with my mom for a month after our daughter was born because our apartment needed work before we could move in. It was really hard, but things worked out. Our daughter was born healthy and beautiful, and with everything else in my life AND taking care of her, I didnt have the chance to miss being pregnant. I STILL dont miss it because I was sick and stressed the whole time! My poor mom had such a rough pregnancy that she was in ICU the entire time. They even tried to force her to abort me because it was making her so sick they thought she would die! At this point, you should be so glad that your baby is here, its a lot more fun than being pregnant! You arent missing much! Ask any mom who is in her last couple of months and she will tell you she is desperately wanting it to be over! I would say that you NEED to get some help. Post-partum depression is dangerous for you and baby, and you need to not try and handle this on your own. This is exactly why babies end up killed by their mom, or left in dumpsters. Dont let your baby-blues go un-treated! God bless!

Oh, and your baby is going to grow up VERY fast. You need to be enjoying this time and creating memories, or you are going to deeply regret it.

Answer 4

i delivered 5 weeks early and felt similar to you. I had baby blues really bad in the first week but they went away. Since your precious little girl is here try to enjoy the fact that she is here and is safe. If you continue to feel this way talk to your doctor about post partum depression. On another note... I don't know if you saw Oprah or not when the baby language segment was on but all babies say the same five things no matter what their gender is or race... Neh means I'm hungry, Heh means i am uncomfortable, Eh means i need to burp OOH means i am tired and EEErRR means i have to toot. Visit Oprah's website and there is actually a video clip of it really neat and I found it really valuable since now i understand what my little guy needs from me.... this might help with how you are feeling too.

Answer 5

I feel for you. I am 37 weeks pregnant, and totally and utterly miserable. I began feeling miserable at about 30 weeks. I know that pregnancy is supposed to feel happy, and magical...blah, blah, blah. But I suppose that things are never, or hardly ever what we imagine they will be. What I'm saying is that things DO happen for a reason. I need to remember that just as much as the next person. Hang in there. (And if it's pregnancy that you miss, there's always next time!)

Answer 6

I think you may have post partum depression. I have 4 awesome children and I had a similar feeling after the fourth. It was a terrible feeling and I could not shake it. my husband is a physician and has seen this many times. go and talk to your ob. there are medicines that you can take wether or not you are nursing. this is so common and the sooner you feel better the sooner you can really enjoy being a mommy and realize you have received 6 bonus weeks w your baby. you will be ok.

Answer 7

Aw hun I am so sorry that this has happened to you.
Just know that it wasnt your fault, and that you did all you could. Just be thankful for you daughter. Shes a miracle.
Congrats on having her!
I think every woman feels this way, reguardless of when you delivered.... I miss being pregnant, even though I went 10 days over with my son, and I was to uncomfortable to do anything.... He was a big baby though, almost 9 pounds....
Try to turn that frown around, go do something for yourself... Something that you enjoy... Get a haircut, your nails done, go for a walk... with time you will start to feel better... Good luck and Congrats!

Answer 8

What you are feeling is normal, but you need to get passed it. Many women who have c-sections feel like they missed out on child birth - they go to sleep and wake up with a baby. You should talk to a counselor or your partner to work through these feelings.

Answer 9

Sorry, I can't relate --- I HATED being pregnant. Remember, all the cool things also come with hemorrhoids, swollen feet, fat face, stretch marks, waddling, crotch pain, leaking boobs, constipation/diarrhea, heartburn, nausea, puking, constant fear/worry, etc... and the last 6 weeks are the worst ones! Cherish her and know that you can always have another baby and love that pregnancy. Congrats on your baby girl!

Answer 10

well I personally find pregnancy very very difficult, esepcially this one. But I am gladly holding my baby in until he is ready. I am sorry for your stress.. but I really wish I was 40 weeks and my baby was born.. Glad it all turned out though:)