My husband just got a cellphone he went without one for 6 months ontill now he bought one for work anyhow i am upset i know he needs it for work but a couple of years ago he used to give his # to woman and text message woman well basically he was a cheater but we got back together i am worryed that this will happen again now that he has his phone i dont want to have to start going threw his calls and keeping my eye on it it's just something i dont want to put myself threw again but i dont want to break up again!
2007-03-17 12:45:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you trust him? I assume things are better now and it's been a few years. He could have found other ways to flirt with girls without a cell; its mere presence shouldn't set your sensors off for cheating.
If you think he would be receptive, I would talk to him. But remember it's a work cell; they will monitor his calls.
2007-03-17 12:49:56 · answer #1 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, it sounds like the trust issues never left after that cell phone insident. Now that he has a new cell phone, your gut feelings may be surfaceing. Unless you two never worked threw this old issue with the cell phone. A cell phone is not the only sign that he is behaving the way he was. Just cause he has not had a cell phone doesnt mean he changes this behavior. But if he did, then just play the waiting game. But personaly, it will be hard to not snoop especially if you feel the way you do. Maybe you can talk to him about it and ask him if you can look at his cell instead of snooping threw it. I did this and my husband at the time told me no. THis led me to believe he was still hiding things and he was cause i did snoop. That is when I had to ask myself if I wanted to remain the snooper I had become or just call it quits and focus on more important things like my life and kids ( which means we had to seperate until i felt comfortable or able to trust him or we just ended it all). Now he tells me i can look at his phone anytime I want (actually I asked again), but I still dont trust making that move back together because I dont want to break up again which means I still have trust issues with him so it is bettter to not get back together yet. Good luck.
2007-03-17 19:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The questions is do you trust your husband? What happened that you two got back together? Did you two go through couseling? Did he admit to his wrong doing and changed his ways? Did you learn to forgive and forget? If none of the above has changed then there will always be the possibility of a repeat offense. If you trust your husband and believe he is using the phone for the correct purposes than leave it be. In the end, what is done in the dark will come to light so you will know. Don't rack your brain over the unknown. Unless he gives you reason to suspect, don't stress it.
2007-03-17 19:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by Africa soon to be The Mrs. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
weather you know it or not you have already broken up. If you don't trust him then you don't have a relationship. A cell phone is not gonna stop him from cheating and once he cheated, he will be cheating as long as he deem it necessary. You say you don't want to break up, well then trust him and if you can't trust him, then break up. A cell phone is not the reason you can't trust him, It's just a tool he used to follow Thur with his cheating, just as a job, a car, a friend, a relative etc... can all be used to help him cheat. So now are you gonna worry about what you don't know or let your mind take you to places that he might not have a thought of going .
2007-03-17 20:39:15 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
A cell phone doesn't necessarily make him a cheater though.
If you can't trust him, you will find another reason to doubt him even if he didn't have a cell phone.
You took him back, so you deal with the trust issue.
If you don't trust him so much it causes you to post your personal life here for all to comment on, then you need to cut ties with him and move on.
2007-03-17 21:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mr R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ur just going to have to watch him. i say once a cheater always a cheater. dont think he wont do it again just watch who he calls and his text messages and tell him how u feel that u dont want to go through this again and just lay down the law. let him know u wont put up with it and if he does it again u will leave. this happened to my parents and my mom put a suitcase on the bed with a few pairs of clothes and my dad stopped immediatley.
2007-03-17 19:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't trip unless you have a reason. You worked it out before and forgave him....let him be forgiven. If you hassle him you might as well put a bow on his head and drop him off on the corner butt naked. The light eventually shines in even the darkest of corners. If he's up to no good it'll come out but if he isn't then won't you feel silly for giving him a reason to even consider it? TRUST BABY TRUST
2007-03-21 17:42:35 · answer #7 · answered by chocolategoldnc1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LIke i always say once a cheater always a cheater. If he cheated on you once when he had a cell phone he will do it again.
unless you trust him and if you do may your marriage last through good years
2007-03-17 20:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by bhiggy0417 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is going to cheat a cell phone is not one of the requirements. I would not waste my time snooping and going through his things. That is a useless waste of energy and very intrusive. You should however go with your gut feelings, and do what is best for you. God bless****
2007-03-17 20:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that your husband is aware of your uneasiness and that he hasn't forgotten that he burned the bridge of trust. I hope that before getting his new mobile he brought this issue out to the open with you. I hope that just as you feel insane there's some remorse in him. I hope that he's into one of these family plans so that it's you the one who is kept in the loop. I hope that you'll tell him honestly that you're nervous.
2007-03-17 19:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋